Collections of E-mail Blasts (Latest at the bottom)

16th January 2012 – 31st January 2012


le pouvoir femme – 16th January 2012


Woman power.


Malaysian women certainly have gone a long way if you compare them to their Western counterparts.


The most powerful person in the country is a woman. The most powerful banker is a woman. The most powerful person in the capital market is a woman. The most powerful minister is a woman, and the friendliest to cows too!


And now a Malaysian woman is going to break another record, the most number of husbands. Elizabeth Taylor is shaking in her grave now!


Sin Chew Daily has just reported that the woman who cons men into marrying her by pretending to be pregnant had snared her eighth victim (or shall I say idiot)!


“Women like silent men.  They think they're listening.” - Marcel Achard


“There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette.  In fact, I got married once on account of that. “ - Harold Robbins


Perhaps this woman not only wants to break Elizabeth Taylor’s record but also Zsa Zsa Gabor’s record!


“I am a marvelous housekeeper.  Every time I leave a man I keep his house.” -  Zsa Zsa Gabor


Gloria Steinem may not agree, but if you ask me, Zsa Zsa Gabor is smarter than most feminists, except maybe Germaine Greer, which I adore.


In Malaysia, how many times have we heard about Muslim women being badly treated by the Syariah Court. And everybody blame the religion! This, despite the fact that in Islam, women hold a special place! And yet everywhere around the Muslim world we hear about the bad treatment of women. In Saudi Arabia, the birth place of Islam, women are not even allowed to drive! Probably the only country in the world that forbids women to drive!


It was quiet amusing to hear recently from a friend in the Middle-East about an Emirati (Muslim) woman being in her fourth marriage!


Two of three most holiest Muslim sites are in Saudi Arabia. Yet everything contradictory to true Islamic teachings are practiced there! There is no such thing as a royal family (or hereditary rulers) in Islam, yet the country is ruled by a hereditary family!


Islam is supposedly “at war” with other religions (which is not true at all), and yet the country is the biggest supporter of the United States of America!


And how did the country ended up with a “royal family”? The British government!


Just like how Iraq was created, and originally ruled by a Hāshimite monarchy, which was installed by the British government in 1921, after the fall of the Ottoman Empire!


Iraq, or Mesopotamia, “was home to the oldest civilizations in the world, with a cultural history of over 10,000 years, hence its common epithet, the Cradle of Civilization. Mesopotamia, as part of the larger Fertile Crescent, was a significant part of the Ancient Near East throughout the Bronze Age and the Iron Age.”


Iran, another country with long history, was also influenced by the British. “Reza Shah ruled for almost 16 years until September 16, 1941, when he was forced to abdicate by the Anglo-Soviet invasion of Iran.” The British government then installed Reza Shah’s son, Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi, who came to power during World War II, while under British occupation.


“Once a major empire of superpower proportions, Persia as it had long been called, has been overrun frequently and has had its territory altered throughout the centuries.”


It is the same story with Israel.


“Modern Israel is roughly located on the site of ancient Jewish kingdoms that were the birthplace of Judaism and Christianity and contains sites sacred to all of the world's principal monotheistic religions. The Jews were mostly driven out of the country by the Romans over the course of centuries of conflict, although some Jews remained. In the Middle Ages, the area formed the focal point of conflict between Christianity and Islam. The expulsion of the Jews from Spain led to an increased, though still small, Jewish presence. In modern times, persecution in Europe led to the creation of the Zionist movement, which was able to win international support and establish the world's only Jewish-majority state.”


“There was already sympathy for the aims of Zionism in the British government, including the Prime-Minister Lloyd-George. In late 1917, as the British Army (including a mainly Zionist Jewish Legion) drove the Turks out of Palestine, the British foreign minister, Lord Balfour sent a letter to Lord Rothschild. The letter subsequently became known as the Balfour Declaration of 1917. It stated that the British Government "view with favour the establishment in Palestine of a national home for the Jewish people ..."


It is strange that whilst Christians were the ones (originally) that drove the Jews from Palestine, the whole issue is now seen as a conflict between Jews and Muslims!


The Prophet Mohamad (s.w.t), during his time, actually protected the Jews. As they were not subjected to zakat (tithe), they were made to pay special taxes in place of zakat. So to say that Muslims and Jews are sworn enemy is clearly incorrect and very sinister!


In fact is Islam, respect must be given to the “people of the books”, i.e. Muslims, Jews and Christians! Muslims are even allowed to eat meat (except pork) that has been slaughtered by Jews and Christians!


Funny, when you look at the history of Malaysia, and the Malay Rulers, a lot of parallel can be drawn with what had happened in the Middle-East. The British came, took over the administration of the Malay states, and then introduced constitutional monarchy, and then brought the other races into the country, and made sure that each race is separated! The good old British method of “divide and conquer”!


And today, that legacy of “divide and conquer” is being practiced by our politicians!


We have inherited a lot of things from the British, but this is one thing that we should have not!


We are now in the 55th year of independence! Yet we behave like we are still in 1957! We don’t mix freely anymore with other races. We view each other with suspicion!


Are we so stupid to allow politicians to tell us how to behave?


“The emotions between the races could never be pure; even love was tarnished by the desire to find in the other some element that was missing in ourselves. Whether we sought out our demons or salvation, the other race would always remain just that: menacing, alien, and apart.” - Barack Obama


So, we have to seek salvation. Forget the politicians! Reach inside ourselves, and ask ourselves, “Can we be a nation that truly respect each other, if we continue letting the politicians lead us?”


“When he asked if she was okay, her eyes welled with tears and she said, “Like I’m always telling my brothers, if you gonna go into history, you can’t do it with a hate attitude. You got to remember, times was different.” - Rebecca Skloot


We, as Malaysians, irrespective of race, have to rise above all the shit!


In the meantime, NFC’s assets have been frozen! So if you see cows in Negeri Sembilan not moving, you can take them home! Have a barbeque over Chinese New Year, and invite all your friends of all races!


On the corporate world, it is very much confirmed that Proton will be sold to DRB-Hicom (so that Syed Mokhtar can get richer and moved up the ladder of the ten richest man in Malaysia). Once he gets the national rail company, and maybe later Petronas, he will not only be the richest man in Malaysia but probably one of the richest in the world!


In the sky, Air Asia X CEO has acknowledged that losses played a “material” role in the company’s profitability. Duh!!! That’s what they taught you at Stanford University??? Eat my golf balls!!!


For your information, profit equals revenue minus cost. And if your cost is higher than your revenue, you get a loss! Even a Chee Cheong Fun seller at the market knows that! And he did not go to university!!!


“Bolo punya olang” (Stupid people), as my friend, the Batu Pahat stockbroking “tai kor” would say!


And to the many fellow Capricorns, like Stephen Hawking, the Duchess of Cambridge (Kate Middleton), Sir Anthony Hopkins, and to my dear brother in Indonesia, Hazri Rohilio Hood, “Happy Birthday!!!


And to my new Datuk friend, Khairussaleh Ramli, the Group CFO of Maybank, and Acting CEO of BII, congratulations on your Datukship! Why Kedah ar? I thought you are from Johor.



恭喜发财 with Mak Nab – 18th January 2012


The Chinese in Terengganu will be celebrating Chinese New Year with nian gao (glutinuous rice cake) made by one Zainab Ismail, a Malay, or more affectionately known as Mak Nab.


Apparently Mak Nab and her late mother have been doing this for years for the Chinese in Terengganu. And she has been making the cakes at a friend’s house, a Chinese by the name of Wee Beng Hai.


According to Wee Lee Bee, the daughter of Madam Wee, “Without her making the rice cake, our new year doesn’t feel complete. My mother said Mak Nab has been making nian gao for her since she was young and Mak Nab’s mother made them for my grandmother”.


Now, that’s 1 Malaysia!!!


Perhaps Malaysians and the politicians should just look at this simple act, to understand that we can live together happily!


It was only a couple of days ago, I wrote about the achievements of women in Malaysia, before another woman, a doctor, has shown how easy it is to be promoted in the civil service by falsifying letters from the Public Service Department (PSD). The doctor has been doing this since 2009, and she could do it because there are loopholes in the system! So, the doctor, also a Datuk, and only 39 years old, promoted herself from Grade 48 to Grade 54 (director’s post) in three years!


Now, I don’t know much about the grading system in the civil service, but 54, which I am sure is not the highest grade, is one hell a lot of grades! No wonder she had to cheat to move up!


And in typical civil service reaction, in today’s New Straits Times, the front page headlines, “Audit of all civil service promotions”.  And the director general of PSD, Tan Sri Abu Bakar Abdullah said, “I welcome the MACC to come in and help PSD to identify weaknesses”. What, you mean people in the PSD are too dumb to clean up their own processes? Duh!!! Eat my golf balls!!


He even said, “The system in itself is good but we have been basing everything on trust. The onus is on the officer (due for promotion) to furnish his department with genuine documents. This story came as a shock to me”. You mean Tan Sri, in the civil service, to be promoted you have to ask for it? Wow!!! So, I presume there’s no such thing as KPI or performance based promotions? Wow!!! Now, why didn’t I join the civil service if I had known that earlier? Life would have been a lot simpler! I could have been the Chief Secretary to the government by now!


“The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.” - Ronald Reagan


“The Minister exists to tell the Civil Servant what the Public will not stand.” -  Sir William Harcourt


“If Civil Servants did not fight for the budgets of their departments they could end up with departments so small that even the Ministers could run them.” – From an episode of Yes, Minister


In the corporate world, one of the members of the “Cow Family” has denied credit card abuse, after an e-mail has been going around accusing the family of charging RM593,500 on the company credit card in 2009. That’s a lot of credit card spending for one year, especially when the cards are only used by four people! I suppose when the chairman is paid RM100,000 per month and each children is paid RM35,000 a month, you need the credit cards!!!


Cow farming and running two restaurants sure are expensive!!!


Now, there’s another good steakhouse run by two young Bumiputras, called Las Valcas. They too import meat from Australia. I wonder whether they would qualify for a soft loan from the government? How about lending them RM100 million. I am sure these two gentlemen can really make it big! But they are not sons of government ministers! Damned!!! Looks like I have to find a minister to adopt me to make it big in business!!


And as expected, Khazanah has announced the sale of Proton to DRB-Hicom, and Johor Corp has rejected the offer by the Malay Chamber of Commerce to buy QSR Brands. What? No national chicken and no national pizza? I am sure Colonel Sanders is smiling in his grave now. Oh, well, looks like we have to stick with Nasi Lemak and Roti Canai!


To the boring and unimaginative fund managers in Malaysia, there’s a new scheme being used by hedge funds in the UK. They are gambling on bitter divorce battles between women and their rich husbands in return for a share of the spoils. “Venture capitalists, hedge funds and high-end lenders are putting up money to women who want to fight their husbands in court”. According to The Sunday Times (of UK), one company now has loans out to more than 100 high net worth spouses – it charges 20 per cent interest for up-front divorce financing. Wow!!!


I wonder if Warren Buffett is into this? If he is, I am interested.


“A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.” - Mickey Rooney


“Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.” - Robin Williams


“Divorce is one of the most financially traumatic things you can go through. Money spent on getting mad or getting even is money wasted.” -Richard Wagner


Apparently every 15 minutes, Muslim couples get divorced in Malaysia! This was actually quoted by a Senator in the Senate in April 2011!


Now imagine the amount of money that can be made!


Alright, I am starting the first divorce hedge fund in Malaysia! Anybody wants to partner me?


In the meantime, a former sailor was awarded USD7.5 million in damages over a car crash in California that shortened his penis by an inch and a half!


Ouch!!! According to the lawyer, “It’s going to affect his relationships and his self-esteem”. Hmmmm, obviously size still matters in California!


An refert, ubi et in qua arrigas?


On the political front, Datuk Dr Hassan Ali has said that there are parasites in PAS. So, you have godfathers and warlords in DAP, parasites in PAS, frogs in PKR, and all these in UMNO. What’s new?


          黐線 - 21st January 2012


To those who don’t speak and read Chinese, the characters above are “Chi Sin”, which means crazy.


Yes, I know some of you would use the term to describe me!


But I am referring to another bad Malaysian habit, being in love with traffic jams. Yup, just admit it, you guys (Malaysians) just love being stuck in traffic jams!


I was on my way to Friday prayers today, and suddenly found myself in the thick of a traffic jam in Sri Hartamas, a residential area (!!!) and this happen to me on every Friday. There’s no mosque in Sri Hartamas, and from what I can gather from the faces of the drivers stuck in the jam, most are definitely not going to the mosques, either in Damansara Heights or Jalan Duta. So why get yourselves stuck in a jam when you know that a lot of people will be driving to the mosques on that particular time on Fridays?


After prayers I decided to go to Bangsar Shopping Centre to send my golf clubs for repair, and there was another massive jams going there! And when I got into the parking lot of BSC, there was a massive jam of people going out, most looking like they were going back to the office after a long lunch break. But it was already past 2.30 pm! So I can only deduce that they were abusing the long lunch hour to have extra-long lunches!


The situation with traffic jams is worse when it rains, and I am not talking about those torrential downpour, but the light drizzle! It seems like when people see that it is starting to rain, everybody runs out into his car and starts driving! Crazy, isn’t it?


As I have written before, “The number of cars are expected to reach 7 million by 2020 as 30,000 cars are added to the already congested roads daily! Now based on the population growth rate of 1.6% currently, the Klang Valley will have a population of 5.4 million by 2020, so that will mean that there will be 1.3 cars for every one person!”


No wonder, our productivity rate is one of the lowest amongst Asian nations!


Of course there are a lot of statistics out there. The World Economic Forum ranked Malaysia 26th amongst 139 countries when it comes to competitiveness. But when you look at the GDP per hour, Malaysia is not even in the list of the top 40 in the world! In the case of industrial production growth rate, Malaysia is only ranked 84th amongst 160 countries!


Why, because most Malaysians are too busy enjoying the traffic jams to be productive!!! By 2020 it will probably be faster to walk to anywhere in KL!


According to Datuk Azhar Abdul Hamid, the CEO of the MRT Corporations, once the MRT extension is completed, based on the government’s survey, more than 50% of residents will use the Klang Valley MRT, from the current 17%. I seriously doubt that!


Why, because everyone says he/she will use the MRT in surveys, but the stark reality is, Malaysians love their cars too much to leave them at home! Everyone says that a car is a necessity in KL, but the fact is, cars are status symbols for Malaysians. Nobody wants to be seen without his/her car!


Now, just be honest, how many of you Malaysians have actually used the LRT? I have, a number of times. 


A few months back, I asked my business partner to use the LRT to get to Empire Tower in Jalan Ampang, and it took her less than 20 minutes from KL Sentral. Of course she complained about having to walk up and down the escalators in her heels!  I forgot to tell her that the 6 inch-heels of Manolo Blahniks and Jimmy Choos are not meant for the LRT! But, then, we all know what women are like when it comes to their shoes!


The ridership for the new line is expected to be 442,000 a day. Current ridership of RapidKL is about 420,000. Now if you add the two together, that will be 862,000. The population of the Klang Valley is 4.7 million. Now that will be 18%, 1% more than current. Hmmm, Datuk, I thought you are a Chartered Accountant of England and Wales?


We saw how upset many residents were when they found out that the MRT line will be built near their homes. All sorts of arguments came out. Our property values will drop! Huh!!! Every studies overseas have shown that property values actually go up when they are closed to public amenities!


And because the protests get louder the nearer the MRT line is to exclusive areas, like Damansara Height, the MRT line is now going to be underground. As those with geological knowledge will be able to tell you, the land in KL is not good for underground roads or train lines as there’s a lot of limestone. And the cost will be a lot more! And who’s paying for that? You, the taxpayers!!! Duh!!! Eat my golf balls!


Yes, Malaysians are a very selfish lot!


Development is okay, as long as it doesn’t affect the façade of my house!!!


Or the “feng shui” of my house!!!


I would want a MRT station next to my apartment!


Besides being selfish, I think Malaysians are becoming more “kiasu” than our cousins in Singapore!


Recently, the Star had a competition, Bid and Win, where it printed fake money on the front pages every day, with values ranging from RM100 to RM500. You can then cut these out and then bid for items, the grand prize being a RM200,000 Peugeot RCZ.


The person who won the car, bid 72,000,000 “Star money”! Now, if she only collected the RM500 Star money, she would have bought RM172,800 worth of Star newspapers within one and a half month! If she bought every day and collected all values, based on the average of RM250 Star money, she would have bought RM345,600 worth of newspapers!!!


I also looked at the other items on offer, which are a lot cheaper, and the amount spent on newspapers was astronomical! Is that “Chi Sin” or “kiasu”?


Man, the management of the Star must be laughing to the bank! Buy Star shares!!! (Oops, sorry Securities Commission).


Malaysians!!! And they are gullible too!!!


Based on the many cases of people being cheated by their online friends! And based on yesterday’s headline in the Star, “Hooked on FB”, that is hardly surprising! The issue was given further coverage in full page articles further inside the paper. Oh, to those who do not know what FB is, it is Facebook, the creation of Mark Zuckerberg, and not “F**k Buddy”, as in the movie starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, “Friends with Benefits” or the one starring Ashton “I am bored with older women” Kutcher and Natalie Portman, “No Strings Attached”.


“Could people be trained to be less gullible? Or are you as stuck with gullibility as you are with skin colour?”- Keith Henson


“Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.” - Oliver Hardy


“A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true.” – Demosthenes


Just a few days ago, I was talking to a dear friend about how he managed to stop a doctor from falling for one of those internet scam. It took him two days to convince the doctor that it was all a scam!!


And how many times have you received e-mails from some lawyers of “long lost relatives” about the inheritance that you are about to receive? Or the e-mails about how you have won some online lotteries that you never took part in?


I receive at least one a week!!!


“But I'm acutely aware that the possibility of fraud is even more prevalent in today's world because of the Internet and cell phones and the opportunity for instant communication with strangers.” - Armistead Maupin


On the political front, whilst one minister (Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department) is against the proposed requirements for ministers and their spouses declaring their assets to the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC), one minister (Chief Minister of Perak) is all for it! And they are both from the same party!


Why the contrasting view? Scared that people will know about your assets, which include homes in London?


“Chi Sin”!!!


In the meantime, another minister, the Cow Minister has decided to sue the duo from PKR who have been exposing the shenanigans at NFC! According to the minister, “their defamatory statements implied that her involvement would drag in both UMNO and Barisan Nasional”. Hello, you are already dragging the party and government down!!! Duh!!! Eat my golf balls!!!


She further said that, “…Agroscience Industries, which almost entirely owns NFC’s paid-up capital, except for a single preference share held by the government”. The government owned part of the company??? Holy mama! So the government is involved then? And isn’t she a government minister?


And all this after the Deputy Prime Minister had announced that the government will appoint an accounting firm to audit the cattle breeding project. So after keeping quiet all this while, now the DPM has announced an audit. A bit too late, isn’t it? And why quiet all this while? Anything with the story I heard that you may or may not have two cattle farms in Perth?


The Home Ministry has also announced that “enforcement officers manning strategic border checkpoints will be sent for integrity and training courses to ensure that they stay on the right side of the law”. What? You mean the officers do not know that they are supposed to be on the right side of the law? Then what is the meaning of “enforcement officers”? 


In the corporate world, the Malay Chamber of Commerce Malaysia (MCCM) has not given up on their bid for KFC. Now they are targeting the Pilgrimage Board (LTH), who owns 23% of KFC Holdings. Are these guys nuts???


MCCM, we are fine not having a National Chicken! Nasi Lemak can be eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner! And without chicken! Sotong (Cuttlefish) will be just nice for me! I can even cook a mean Nasi Lemak! One with so much lemak (fat), that you will get a cardiac arrest within 30 minutes of eating it! He he.. I love my cholesterol!


In down-under, an “Aussie consumer watchdog takes AirAsia to court”! Why? For “allegedly failing to disclose the full price of fares for flights from Australia to overseas destinations”. Oh dear!!! They are taking the Aussies for a ride (no pun intended)? That must be the fault of Malaysian Airport Holdings!!! MAHB gave them so much stick for not paying landing fees for years, that they forgot to disclose the full price for the Aussie flights!


Everyone loves AirAsia for their “cheap” fares, but ask any vendors that deal with AirAsia, and no one has anything nice to say!


Have you heard of “karma”, YBhg Tan Sri Tony Fernandez?


“A man is born alone and dies alone; and he experiences the good and bad consequences of his karma alone; and he goes alone to hell or the Supreme abode.” – Chanakya


“You can't escape karma ... It is what it is. It doesn't judge, it's neither good nor bad like most people think. It's the result of all the actions, positive and negative--a constant balancing act of events--cause and effect--tit for tat--reaping and sowing--what goes around comes around ... However you phrase it, it's the same in the end.” - ALYSON NOËL


To my Chinese friends, Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!


I would also like to thank all of you for the lovely birthday messages on Facebook.


And to those who sometimes do not receive the e-mail blasts, just go to the website and click on “E-mail Blast”


The richest man in the world is a Malay! – 23rd January 2012


Yup, who would have thought!


And here we are arguing about the over-subsidized Bumiputras, and the abuse of the New Economic Policy (NEP), and all this while the richest man in the world is a Malay!


And he is from my state, Perak!


And he is the world’s first trillionaire!


The man, by the name of Kamal Ashnawi, even backed up his claims by “presenting copies of bank statements from HSBC in London” to reporters from Mingguan Malaysia!


Kamal is the president and CEO of Sierra Petroleum (M) Sdn Bhd.


The world’s richest man currently (based on Forbes’) is Carlos Slim Helu, the Mexican business magnate, who is the Chairman and CEO of America Movil, the largest Latin American mobile phone carrier. His net worth is USD74 billion.


Mingguan Malaysia did not reveal En Kamal’s net worth, but he claims to have Euro 5 trillion (RM20 trillion) in his savings! That would mean that En Kamal is 68 times richer than Senor Slim! And if you add the net worth of the top 50 richest persons in the world, USD1.142 trillion, En Kamal’s savings would still be 4.4 times more!!!


En Kamal also claimed that he is a “royal descendant from Java, Indonesia…. expected to be crowned as King of Indonesia in the next few years”!!! Bovina sancta!!!


I honestly don’t know whether the man is compos mentis or what! But that is one hell of a claim!


If I am Empress Dowager, now would be a good time to be looking for the man, and being his friend! Imagine the number of diamond rings and Birkin bags that she can buy!


Eh, En Kamal, do you need someone to manage your money? My own portfolio which I managed on my own made 24% in 2011. I only charge RM1 million a year, which is only 0.000005 per cent! A lot cheaper than the 3% that fund managers charge.


In the meantime, the father of Mat Bontot’s former private secretary has left the party, PKR, because of Anwar’s alleged involvement in a sex video. The video which was revealed by the “Datuk T” trio had created such an impact that “he could no longer bring himself to follow the man he had idolized since his schooldays”.


“It took me a long time to accept reality. Even though my son’s story sounded convincing, I still refused to believe his words and kept insisting that it was all part of a conspiracy against Anwar”


He said Rahimi, his son, brought him to a gathering by a group of people “who had much to reveal” about Mat Bontot. “They didn’t seem to be the kind of people who told lies”.


Yes, like the majority of Malaysians who have seen the light, what the man has discovered is nothing new to me. I have seen the evidence many, many years ago, most of which will probably never be seen by the public. Which is the sad part! Because Malaysians will continue living with their ignorance and stupidity!


“The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.” - Winston Churchill


“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.


“Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace.” - Dalai Lama


“Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.” - William Shakespeare


Mahathir didn’t want the evidence to be made public because they were just too humiliating to a Muslim. Vindictive, though the man can be, he just didn’t have the heart to hurt the family.


If I was him, I would let everything out! I don’t give a shit if the whole family decide to kill themselves from shame!!!


“And We sent Lot as a Messenger: Remember that he said to his people, "Have you become so shameless that you commit such indecent acts as no one has committed before you in the world?” Qur’an 7:80 (Surah Araf)


"What! Of all creatures do ye come unto the males, and leave the wives your Lord created for you? Nay, but ye are forward folk." Qur'an 26:165 (Surah Shuara)


Dominus illuminatio mea


I can understand why the opposition parties are backing Mat Bontot (political expediency), but I just don’t get it when supposedly intelligent and educated Malaysians still think that the man is innocent, and think that he can lead the country!


Karpal Singh will always come to Mat Bontot’s defence, because he is a lawyer with no conscience! He would probably defend a man for raping his daughter if the man can help the DAP win the general elections! And he will say, it’s in the interest of justice! Justice, my foot!!! He would sell his own daughter too if that will guarantee him a win in the general elections! If you are guilty of the most heinous crime, he’s the man to defend you! Basically when you are defended by Karpal Singh, you are guilty!!!


“If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. “ - Lord Halifax


“As a rule lawyers tend to want to do whatever they can to win.” - Bill Williams


As for PAS, they have sold their soul to the devil!!! They have compromised every Islamic principles there are!


“Among politicians the esteem of religion is profitable; the principles of it are troublesome.” - Benjamin Whichcote


“A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt


“A politician's goal is always to manipulate public debate. I think there are some politicians with higher goals. But all of them get corrupted by power.” - Dean Koontz


On the corporate front, what can we expect in the dragon year? Everyone seems to think the dragon year is good, thus the increase in nocturnal activities for those wanting to have dragon babies! But apparently, according to the astrologers, fortune tellers and soothsayers, this is the water dragon year, thus lacking the fire to boost the corporate world! Damned!! I was hoping that I could make a bit more money from the market this year, but that looks pretty slim now!


Most analysts are advising caution (as usual), especially with the prevailing uncertainties with the European economies. Nothing new there! Let’s face it, analysts are never really great when predicting markets. Every calamitous market event was almost never predicted by the majority of analysts. And then what do they do? They come up with the “black swan” theory, to justify these market anomalies! So that they don’t look so bad for their failures to predict these events! And they want to get paid a lot of money! Ask any stockbroker in Malaysia, and he/she will tell you that analysts are expensive to hire.


I honestly don’t know what is in store for the market, though it is very likely that the upward trend that we are seeing will continue until the general elections. After all, UMNO needs to make enough money for the elections.


I spent an hour last week talking to someone who is part of the UMNO “election machinery”. It was a real education. I never knew how costly it is to take part in elections, but complicated too! He was blaming someone in Pak Lah’s camp for the last election loses. Apparently the money meant for the workers were walloped by many “Ketua-Ketua Bahagian UMNO” (UMNO’s Division Head). I also learned that the real workers that make the difference in all elections are the Wanita UMNO and Puteri UMNO (UMNO Ladies)! If these two are not doing their jobs, there goes UMNO’s chance of winning, apparently! And we all thought that the women in UMNO (especially Puteri UMNO) were just eye candies!


Looks like it is still women power that determines the success of UMNO! If only they can get rid of the Cow Minister! The Empress Dowager of course cannot be touched!


“Women really do rule the world.  They just haven't figured it out yet.  When they do, and they will, we're all in big, big trouble.” - Doctor Leon


Hang Tuah and Robin Hood – 26th January 2012


“Sometimes legends make reality, and become more useful than the facts.” -  Salman Rushdie


“An element of exaggeration clings to the popular judgment: great vices are made greater, great virtues greater also; interesting incidents are made more interesting, softer legends more soft.” - Walter Bagehot


So, the big debate now, is whether Hang Tuah had existed or just a legend.


I am quite sure Professor Emeritus Tan Sri Dr Khoo Kay Kim (man, this guys has long titles) did not expect his thoughts will become such a big controversy and ignite a lot of debates between historians. I am rather surprised that it has not been politicized yet, as something like this would normally do!


The good professor didn’t actually say that Hang Tuah did not exist. He merely states that a lot of what have been presented in history books about the legendary warrior were based more on myths than historical facts. He is entirely correct!!!!


We have been fed with a lot of historical facts that are not exactly factual. As shown on my website on my attempt at interpreting history, a lot of historical facts don’t actually have real facts to support the stories. The simple issue of the so called Princess Hang Li Po, that purportedly married the Sultan of Malacca, and thus the beginning of the Peranakan heritage.


You can search every history books on China, and no where will you find any reference to a princess by the name of Hang Li Po. Of course Admiral Zheng He (Laksamana Cheng Ho) is legendary and factually had led the Chinese navy, and that he was a Muslim. He was also known as Ma Sanbao (simplified Chinese: 马三宝; traditional Chinese: 馬三寶) and Haji Mahmud Shamsuddin. His fleet of 317 ships is probably bigger than any fleet today!


So, who really is Hang Tuah? No doubt he existed, but where did he really come from?


If you look at the name, “Hang” is not exactly a Malay name. Neither is “Hang” a title bestowed by the Sultan. And Hang Li Po was supposedly a Chinese princess! I don’t know of any Malay with “Hang” as part of his name. I know a Chinese by the name of Heng (the buaya from RHB), and I know of a Chinese by the name of Hung, as in William Hung (from American Idol). Of course Tuah is a Malay name, which means “lucky”.


I suspect Hang Tuah came from China, and was a Shaolin Kung Fu master! Now, legends abound about his fighting ability, even flying through the air, ala Shaolin Kung Fu! He may have been part of the Zheng He’s crew, and decided to settle in Malacca, after he found out how slow “Silat” (Malay martial art) is! Of course such a theory will never be accepted by historians! As for his four other friends, they may also have been part of Xheng He’s crew, and came from the same Shaolin temple! Then, there’s also the Han Dynasty, the second imperial dynasty in China, and the Hang Seng Index on the Hong Kong Stock Exchange!


There are actually seven Chinese characters that are pronounced as “hang”, all with different meanings! Very confusing indeed. But “hang” is definitely a Chinese word!


From the linguistic point of view, it is simply too obvious. “Hang” is not a title, otherwise there will be so many “Hang” nowadays that “Hang” will be considered the most common surname in Malaysia by the Western world, like “Datuk”. It would be similar to “Kim” in Korea.


I must admit that history was never my favourite subject in primary school. I simply memorized all the facts to pass the exams. My interest in history only started much later in life, and even then I am only interested in historical facts that affect the world at large, like the historical facts affecting the Middle-East. But I could not recall being taught in history classes about the five Hangs’ families, or their beginnings. Everything that was taught was about their exploits.   


So, need I say more? This may not be argumentum ab auctoritate, but I must say a very convincing one!


Robin Hood may also have existed, but again most of the facts are based on myths! Some say he was yeoman, and some say he was an aristocrat. Many versions have been presented, not only in books, but also in movies.


Some say that he roamed Sherwood Forest in Nottinghamshire, but some say he may have lived in the Barnsdale area of what is now South Yorkshire!


The problem with early history is the fact that many events are not documented as historical events, but as part of folklore! So we don’t really know what is true and what is fiction!


“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge - myth is more potent than history - dreams are more powerful than facts - hope always triumphs over experience - laughter is the cure for grief - love is stronger than death” - Robert Fulghum


“All the ancient histories, as one of our wits say, are just fables that have been agreed upon.” – Voltaire


Fable or myth, what the government and historian should concentrate on is not so much on the so-called life of Hang Tuah, but more on the principle of loyalty (which is under-rated today), respect for authority (also under-rated) and discipline (which is even more under-rated) that were displayed by Hang Tuah and his four buddies.


In the meantime, it looks like the Empress Dowager have to deny another story coming from down-under about her AUS$100,000 shopping trip. Only AUS$100,000??? Come on, even Paris Hilton spends more than that on lunch!!! No pearl necklaces??


In the corporate world, the PNB-SP Setia saga has finally ended with a revised mandatory general offer of RM3.95, which I think is still low. Well, I bought at a higher price! We all know that it should not have happened in the first place. That must have been the biggest miss-step ever made by PNB. Trying to take over a company that is well run will only lead to the destruction of the company. I have gone through it, I know. When the company that I was involved in running together with a largely Chinese management team was taken private, its aspiration of being the largest home grown BPO player is slowly going up in smoke! They have lost a major account, and have not brought any big account since! People have left by the droves! Worse, there is the issue of a RM400 million in goodwill, that has yet to be written off!!!


When you let ego takes over sound business decision, that is what you get!!!


“A lot of people have this ego need that makes them want to believe that Earth is the center of the universe and humans are the most important species, the supreme expression of creation.” - Ann Druyan


“Anytime there is a struggle between doing what is actually right and doing what seems right, then your ego is interfering with your decision.” - Darren L. Johnson


If rumours are to be believed, the same thing is happening in Sunrise, which was taken over by UEM Land. From what I heard, the management of UM Land is now trying to muscle in into Sunrise, which is largely run by a Chinese management team. You bought the company because of it management expertise! You already own it, so why mess with a good team? When will they ever learn???


Over at Proton, it looks like the pious CEO will be out of a job soon, with DRB-Hicom having been given the go ahead to take over the ailing car company. I don’t know the CEO personally, but from what I heard, he is a good man. After all, it was him that was instrumental in the early success of Perodua, the second national car. I am sure he is regretting his decision to leave Perodua for Proton. Just look at Perodua now, selling more cars to Malaysians than Proton!


In the meantime, in Hollywood, the fairy tale marriage of supermodel Heidi Klum and singer Seal is heading for a divorce. Who would have thought such a “lovey dovey” couple could end up splitting? That just shows that money can buy love but it cannot buy a lasting marriage!



Sex and Religion – 28th January 2012


Yes, folks, the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) is back!!!


This time they are organising a seminar espousing the Prophet Mohamad (s.a.w) as a sex symbol!!!


Man, these ladies sure know how to court controversies. But I think this time they have really pushed the limit!


Not only are they insulting the Prophet (s.a.w), but wouldn’t that be blasphemous?


Apparently their book earlier on how wives can satisfy their husbands’ sexual urges was pulled out as soon as it came out. And that was before I could get a hand on it! What are they going to do now?


Luckily they didn’t come out with posters depicting the Prophet (s.a.w) with his eleven wives! That would definitely be blasphemous!


In the meantime, the future King of Indonesia has clarified that he is going to be the Emperor of Indonesia instead! Yea, now Indonesia can really compete with Malaysia! Malaysia has the Empress Dowager, and Indonesia will have an Emperor! Imagine that, Malaysia and Indonesia will finally be united, and Malindo or Indomal will be a new country, led by an Emperor and Empress Dowager! With a combined population of 268.3 million, the world is us for the taking. And all the issues about immigrant workers will be solved. You can have as many maids as you want!


And since he also claimed that he is a descendant of royal families of China, India, Java and Siam, we can even combine 5 countries into one, with a population of 2.85 billion, 40.7% of the world population!!! Man, we are going to rule the world!!! After all, he has also claimed that 86.7% of the money in the world belongs to him!


I can imagine the Empress Dowager rolling on the floor and doing the cha-cha now, thinking how much money she is going to have! Hermes will soon be making a bag just for her!!! Estimated price, US $1 million!!! Don’t worry, Cow Minister, you can buy all the cows in Australia now!!! But you better be nice to the Empress Dowager, and don’t be so “whiny”, as she hates that!!


If you guys are going to start complaining that only the Empress Dowager is getting rich, don’t worry, they’ll be plenty of opportunities for other businesses too. CIMB will soon be the largest bank in the world! Khazanah will be bigger than ADIA (Abu Dhabi Investment Authority), the largest sovereign wealth fund in the world currently with total assets under management of USD627 billion! Khazanah is currently only ranked 21st with USD36.8 billion, a mere 5.9% of ADIA’s. China has five funds, totalling USD1.41 trillion. Now, once you have China, Singapore will most likely stop having the US of A as their big brother, and turn to China. That will add another USD404.7 billion!! Looks like Tan Sri Azman Mokhtar (MD of Khazanah) will finally get his wish to become the Second Finance Minister!


There will be plenty of opportunities for all of you to make money out of the combined sovereign wealth fund, especially for the likes of McKinsey, Boston Consulting Group, Accenture and the rest of the Western sounding CONsulting firms! Damn! They are all American owned! Not for long! They will soon be known as Ahmad Chong Ramasamy McKinsey or ACR McKinsey (to be owned by BN), Kepong Boston Consulting Group and Syed Accenture (to be owned by Syed Mokhtar)!


Eh, Your Highest Esteemed Majesty The Empress Dowager, can my consulting firm be considered too? I don’t charge very high. Just enough to buy the new Mercedes CLS 63 that the Sultan of Pahang just bought. I had a look at the Mercedes Brabus E63 the other day, and the sound coming out of the exhaust gave me instant orgasm! Better than Viagra!!!


I will be very nice to you too, Your Highest Esteemed Majesty! I will not make fun of you anymore. I will even carry your Birkin bags for you. Please, pretty please!!!


While one man is boasting about his wealth, and one Prime Minister going everywhere in Malaysia for Chinese New Year, one Western leader is cowing in fear after protesters demonstrated in front of the restaurant she was in. Man, when I look at the photo of Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard coming out of the restaurant hugging her bodyguard like a sheep about to be slaughtered, I have to say that this woman certainly need a lesson about being brave from the Empress Dowager!


And her boyfriend, Tim Mathieson, is nowhere to be seen! Oh, yeah, he is the one wearing the apron at home and the one with the curling iron and hairdryer! Man, he is going to be very busy the next few days repairing the damage to her hair! See, Your Highest Esteemed Majesty, it is good to have a boyfriend who can do your hair! Sorry la, I don’t do hair. I don’t even have hair!!!


But, you better start spending more money in Australia. Ms Gillard really need your help to perk up the Australian economy! She might lose the next election, and if she does, you are never going to be allowed in to shop again!


In another part of the world, another luckless female Prime Minister, Yingluck Shinawatra was a guest of honour at India’s 63rd Republic Day’s celebration. What on earth are you doing there, when the problems from the earlier flood in Thailand have yet to be resolved? This is the problem with all these women Prime Ministers and leaders! They just cannot miss a photo opportunity! We know you are also quite “leng lui” (beautiful girl), but stay at home and help the poor Thais first before jetting around the world!


Meanwhile, in another country near down-under, Kim Dotcom has been denied bail by the New Zealand court and will now have to wait to be extradited to the United States. To those who are not into the cyberworld, Kim Dotcom is the owner of Megaupload, the largest download site on the internet, which I have to admit that I have used a few times. Mr Dotcom changed his name legally from Kim Schmitz, and is a German-Finnish computer programmer and businessman who generated publicity during the dot-com bubble and thereafter convicted of insider trading and embezzlement in its aftermath.


As a teenager, Dotcom, earned a reputation in his native Germany for cracking corporate PBX systems in the United States, and tried to parlay it into a career in data security. Just after celebrating his 38th birthday only last week, he is now being accused of the largest internet copyright piracy case in the United States.


On 21 March 2005 (his 31st birthday) , Dotcom founded Megaupload Limited, a Hong Kong-based file hosting and sharing business that eventually became the 13th most popular site on the internet with over 150 employees, US $175 million revenues, 50 million visitors daily, and estimated to be responsible at its peak for 4% of all internet traffic.


The Megaupload business' domain names were seized and the sites shut down by the U.S. Justice Department on 19 January 2012, following their indictment and arrests of the owners for allegedly operating as an organization dedicated to copyright infringement.


He didn’t actually steal anything, but his site hosted files that are considered protected under copyright laws, such as software, MP3, MPEG, and the likes. Megaupload allows anyone to upload and download files. It is all for free, but if you want faster download, then you pay a small fee. The site also have many reputable advertisers on it. The site was so popular that payments can be made via all major credit cards and Paypal!


He has a big mansion in New Zealand (worth US $4 million) and a bunch of expensive cars, and married to a former model from the Philippines. Ah, the life of the rich and famous (or notorious in this case), like some of my fellow members of the Kuala Lumpur Golf and Country Club.


Hmm, since his cars have been seized, maybe some will be auctioned off cheaply. I noticed from the photo that there’s a CLS being loaded onto the trailer. Anyone in New Zealand can help?

What can we learn from this? You can make lots of money from the Internet, have a glamourous life, but you will be persecuted by the US Justice Department! And don’t be stupid to change your name to Dotcom!!!


I know my company is called, but I assure you it is legit!!! And so is Timedotcom. My friend Afzal, the CEO, can attest to that.


Meanwhile, it looks like another scandal by a government owned company is about to come out, this time 9Bio, a company wholly owned by the Ministry of Finance (MOF). The company was given the mandate to produce “halal” vaccine in 2006, but after more than 5 years nothing has been produced, and the CEO, a beautiful Bumiputra lady doctor (formerly from the Ministry of Health) was sacked in 2008. In fact the Auditor General’s (AG) Report in 2008 recommended her termination and that she be charged for criminal breach of trust (CBT) and cheating when “she purposely and intentionally siphoned Company’s money for a totalled sum of RM 467,859.90 without the approval of the board of directors.” When she was sacked in 2008, 30 other 9Bio staff resigned voluntarily.


In fact an old friend of mine was sent there in 2007 by the then Second Finance Minister to watch over her, but the mistake was that he was made the COO. You cannot expect him to do much when he had to report to her! Duh!!!


Well, it looks like the woman folks of my fellow Bumiputras have also joined the bandwagon to cheat the government!! We already have the Cow Minister, the lady doctor in Negeri Sembilan falsifying records to get herself promoted and now this! What has happened to doctors being honest and the Hippocratic Oath that they take? Perhaps they should rename the oath to Hypocrite Oath!


In the meantime, if you enjoy watching depressing movies, lookout for “The Beaver”, starring Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster (who also directed). It was showing in the local cinemas a few weeks back, but I doubt they are still showing it. I saw it many months ago, courtesy of my neighbourhood DVD seller. It is the best I have ever seen Mel Gibson, but like I said the movie is really depressing. What do you expect when it deals with depression!


I am still receiving complaints from people who have not received my latest mails. I know many of you are too lazy to go to my web-site (though you have time to surf for porn!!) and prefer the e-mails, so just check your Spam box. I am quite sure there are in there.


"Ein ein schönes Wochenende wunche ich Ihnen"


Now Everyone Can Fly and Get Cheated Too – 30th January 2012



“I would prefer even to fail with honour than to win by cheating” -  Sophocles


So, has Mr Budget Airline Champion, Tan Sri Tony Fernandez, finally sold his soul to the devil?


It seems that if he hasn’t, his people at Air Asia certainly has!


“Air Asia and Tony Fernandes: From public champion to money-grabbing witch?”


That’s what Malaysia Chronicle said!


“However AirAsia’s success story has begun to falter amid charges of poor service, inflexibility, hidden charges, deceptive pricing and anti-consumer practices designed to squeeze the maximum from passengers. Whenever there is a news item on AirAsia in Malaysiakini, Malaysian Insider and other online sites readers’ comments are almost wholly negative towards the airline. It is unusual for a budget airline which purports to provide affordable flying for passengers to end up on the wrong side of public opinion but AirAsia has certainly succeeded.”


I have to admit that I have never liked Air Asia, because it is worse than taking a bus sometimes! Sure, the fares are supposed to be “cheap” (when you book way in advance), but then you ended up paying for almost everything else!  And I had the unfortunate incidence of having to walk in blinding rain just to get to the plane. Yes, there’s a walkway at the low cost terminal in Sepang, but it does not provide much protection when you get the kind of rain that we get in Malaysia. But what I find most ingratiating is the fact that you have to pay a hefty charge to call the call centre, which is clearly immoral, in my opinion. Call centres are there to help! It is like going through the toll plaza, and then having to pay the person manning the booth to take your money on top of the toll charges!


It is not like you are paying for a “premium” call centre. For someone who was involved in the running of the largest call centre operator in the country, I can tell you that Air Asia call centre sucks, big time!!! And when Air Asia wanted to use the same company to host its system, it wanted to pay peanuts!!! It’s like you have to provide them service at a loss! No wonder they make so much money!!!


For the nine months ending 30 September 2011, they made a Profit After Tax of RM428.5 million, on the back of revenue of RM3.201 billion, a margin of 13.4%!!!


RM million, unless otherwise stated)

For the year ended 30 June

For the 6 months ended 31 December

For the year
ended 31 December













Operating expenses






Operating profit/(loss)






Associates contributions






Profit/(loss) before tax













You are in the service industry. Where is the customer service????


Tony, Tony, Tony!!!


Have you heard of “karma”??


“Give up your selfishness, and you shall find peace; like water mingling with water, you shall merge in absorption.” - Sri Guru Granth Sahib


“When we begin to understand the concept of Karma we will never ever blame God for anything that happens to us. We will realise that we are responsible for all that happens to us. As we sow, so shall we reap. Rich or poor, saint or sinner, miser or philanthropist, learned or illiterate ... This is the Universal Law that applies to individuals, to whole communities, societies, nations and races. As we sow, so shall we reap.” - J. P. Vaswani


In the meantime, someone from the Opposition Party has asked the government on what basis is the so called “sugar subsidy” being increased to maintain the price that consumer pay for sugar. He claimed that sugar price has actually dropped in the global market!


I decided to do my own checking, and guest what I found. The claim is right!!!


Spot sugar price on the world market has actually been dropping since July 2011!!!





Jun 2011



Jul 2011


18.26 %

Aug 2011


-2.00 %

Sep 2011


-7.76 %

Oct 2011


-1.28 %

Nov 2011


-6.77 %

Dec 2011


-4.49 %

















So what gives????


Man, oh man, where is the subsidy going???


"The minister must hence clarify why there was a need to increase subsidies when the global sugar price is falling while at the same time explain who are the real beneficiaries from the extra RM198 million of supposed 'subsidy'.", the member of the Opposition said!!!


I am diabetic, and my sugar level is going up not because of the high consumption of sugar, but when I read something like this!!!


It is so easy to find out about global sugar price. Everything is on the net nowadays, my dear Minister! Duh!!! Eat my golf balls!!!


Where did this Minister come from???


In the meantime, Anwar has shot his foot again by declaring his support for Israel!!! Man, his “not guilty” verdict must have screwed up his brain so much that he is not thinking right!!! Or maybe too much arse f***ing” must have done him in!!!


The man is becoming more and more of a joke!!! And PAS still wants him as the next Prime Minister???


Looks like I have to emulate some people who have come up with ABU (Anything But UMNO), and come up with ABBA (Anything But B****T Anwar)!!! And my theme song will be “Take a Chance on Me” and “Money, Money, Money”!


Repent, you stupid idiot, before it’s too late!!!


To my fellow Capricorn, Tiger Wood, congratulations, though you failed to win the Abu Dhabi HSBC Golf Championship, when you fell short by 2 strokes, but third place in such a strong field is not bad at all. Definitely a good sign for the year!!!


And to my beloved Manchester United who lost 2-1 to Liverpool in the FA Cup fourth round, you guys better get yourself straightened out. Come on man, we are talking about Liverpool, a has been club still living in the past!!!


Have a good week everyone!!!




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