Collections of E-mail Blasts (Latest at the bottom)

1st January 2012 – 15th January 2012


aut disce aut discede – 1st January 2012

“Either learn or leave”


But some people are just not capable of learning (or refused to learn), and they won’t leave either, like the “Cow Minister”!


Oh, well, that’s human beings for you. But these people don’t realize that the bigger they are, the harder they fall. And it’s very painful to fall especially if you are high up in a tower, and the cows fall with you, and land on top of you!


I told myself that I am going to take a few days break from writing this week, but a lunch session with an old friend make me return to the keyboard of my laptop/tablet (which has been confirmed to be having a hardware problem!). Of course “hardware problems” are quite common with some older male friends of mine, but that is easily cured by the blue pill!


Anyway, back to the long lunch (we businessmen are fond of long lunches), my good friend is an old friend of the Cow Minister and Empress Dowager, with the emphasis on “old”, which means she is no longer considered a friend! Though the lunch was a bit about her “old” friends, she asked me whether I saw the article in the Sunday Times of 18th December 2011, about her 19 year old daughter? I only buy the Sunday Times for the Motoring Section, so of course I missed it.


Now her daughter is 19, and in the final year of her degree in Manchester in England. Yet, despite her tender years, she has secured the first Tutti Frutti Franchise for the United Kingdom (I may have mentioned it before). Now, we all know that the franchise in Malaysia is held by the Naza brothers (Now, I cannot verify this, but apparently the franchise was brought to Malaysia because the then girlfriend, and now wife, of one of the brothers just loves Tutti Frutti ). Of course everyone would love to deal with the Naza brothers, but for Tutti Frutti to agree to award the franchise for the whole UK to a 19 year old Malaysian Malay is something else!


This is what Jay Kim (the Korean American founder of Tutti Frutti USA) had to say, “They are the youngest, craziest and fastest master licence holders”. This young woman’s “steely determination and vision saw her taking the flight alone to attend the international conference in Los Angeles last March”! “We all thought she was crazy”, said one of the partners!


Now, she comes from just a simple upper middle-class Bumiputra family. In fact, her parents had to dig deep into their savings to send her to the UK. But she certainly has good genes in her. Her late grandfather was the former Auditor General of Malaysia, one of the early Malays whom the word “integrity” must have been invented for! He was practically “cold-storaged” after insisting that the BMF-Carrian Affair audit report that he wrote be made public! And he lived his remaining years in quiet solitude!


I have met this young lady a couple of times, and she certainly has good upbringing. Very well-mannered and smart (in a very quiet way), unlike the many young Malay ladies in Malaysia nowadays, who are only interested in the latest fashion! And I certainly never though she is capable doing something like that!


So, to her mother, father and two brothers, you have every reason to be proud of her. To you Amanda Nasim, I salute you and “Grātulātiō!! You make me proud to be a Bumiputra again (though I am still a Chinaman!!).


And today, over breakfast with my business partner, she mentioned how worried she is with her son who is going to be attending higher education in Australia. She is so unhappy with the state of the education system and having  hard time bringing up her two teenage boys. Who isn’t unhappy with the education system in Malaysia??? The schools don’t teach the youngs anymore, they just make them pass exams!


And then the read about government ministers “raping” the country, or corporate leaders “raping” the companies that they run! The other day I was presenting to a bunch of senior managers of a government owned organization, and one of them asked with in broken English, why is it that every time there is misdeed in a company, only the CEO that gets blame, but the Board of Directors get away with just a slap on the wrist? And why is it that under the SC Act, the punishments are always, “Fine or Jail” and not “Fine and Jail”? I was stumped!


I am not going to tell you what my answers were, but suffice to say that “so that titled people don’t get put in jail”!


As to what I think of Board of Directors, they are unprintable! Suffice to say that, most are not very smart!


So, with apologies to Monsieur Rene Artois, I shall diz wanz again, “Have a Great New Year and May 2012 be a Great Year for all of you”. And to my fellow Capricorn, Sir Alex Ferguson, Happy Birthday (tomorrow) and may you show all the young pretenders in the English Premier League that at 70 you can still out-fox them!


The Mayor of Casterbridge – 1st January 2012



The will of Michael Hanchard, The mayor of Casterbridge (1886)


That Elizabeth-Jane Farfrae be not told of my death, or made to grieve on account of me

& that I be not bury’d in consecrated ground

& that that no sexton be asked to toll the bell

& that nobody is wished to see my dead body

& that no murners walk behind me at my funeral

& that no flours be planted on my grave

& that no man remember me

To this I put my name


That is what was quoted by the Chief Secretary to the Government of Malaysia, Tan Sri Sidek Hassan, in his weekly column in the Star, 31st December 2011.



The man certainly has class! The Mayor of Casterbridge is actually a fictional character in books by Thomas Hardy. It tells “the tale of how the flaws of human condition can haunt even at the cusp of success”. The good Tan Sri reads Thomas Hardy, meh?? Hah, most of you don’t even know who Thomas Hardy is!


The good Tan Sri spoke about “service delivery”, and I have to say that he has done quite a lot to improve service delivery in the public sector. For instant, applying or renewing your Malaysian passports are a breeze nowadays. You can even do it online! Though one of my super-rich friends who uses an Apple Mac Pro (with 21 inch screen) has no clue how to apply online!!


I have read some of the writings by the good Tan Sri, and I must say that I am rather impressed. Not only he writes in good English, he is certainly working very hard to improve the civil service.


Now, everyone of us has a horror story about our encounters with the civil servants. I am sure this quite familiar, “Isi borang” (Fill up the form). Borang?” (Form?). Ya, borang la” (Yes, the form). Borang apa?” (What form?). Borang biasa la!” (The normal form!). Borang biasa?” (The normal form?). And this will go on and on, and the voice will go up a pitch at every new question and answer!


I have never liked civil servants, though my parents were teachers, but they were a different breed then!


Sir Humphrey: It must be hard for a political adviser to understand this, but I'm merely a civil servant. I simply do as I am instructed by my master.

Hacker: What happens when a minister is a woman, what'll you call her?

Sir Humphrey: Yes that is rather interesting. We sought an answer to that point when I was Principal Private Secretary and Dr. Edith Summerskill, as she then was, was appointed minister in 1947. I didn't quite like to refer to her as my mistress.

Jim Hacker: What was the answer?

Sir Humphrey: Oh, we're still waiting for it.


From: Yes, Minister


Now, I cannot verify this, but apparently the government has been employing lots of unemployed Bumiputra graduates just to bring the unemployment rate down. These graduates are not really needed to fill-up vacancies. So they just hang around in the office doing nothing or at most making coffees for the other civil servants! I don’t have any friends in the civil service, so I don’t know how true this is. And I never liked talking to civil servants.


Imagine sitting in a post-Cabinet meeting (which I had to endure when I was in the Exchange), and listening to the former Deputy Minister of Finance berating the Secretary General of the Inland Revenue Department who was planning to visit tax evaders at their homes and offices. This is what she said, “How can! You cannot do that, you know. It is very embarrassing, especially to the Chinese. “Face” very important one!”


Well to the good minster (who is now the Minister of Tourism), the whole exercise is to embarrass the tax evaders! Duh!!! Eat my golf balls!


Now, this minister is a medical doctor! Must be very smart! So, my advice to her, don’t return to the Ministry of Finance!


So, here we are in the year 2012 anno domini! And what year will it be? I have no idea, other than what I had written a few days ago.


The Star Biz Week screamed “A year of uncertainty?”. I am quite sure it will be, as always!


Well, the last day of 2011 certainly was painful for me, watching Manchester United beaten by Blackburn 3-2 at home, Old Trafford, The Theatre of Dreams! Imagine my horror, when I switched on the telly mid-way through the match to see MU one down! And when Blackburn scored the second goal in the second half, I switched channel! What a dreadful way to spend his 70th birthday, Sir Alex Ferguson! Blackburn is second from the bottom of the EPL and MU is second from the top, a gap of 31 points!


As you all know, I am a real fan of the EPL, for almost 40 years!


It is interesting how people who are getting paid £200,000 per week (that’s RM1 million) can sometimes behaved like idiots! Like the El-Loco, Signore Marion Bartoli (from Manchester City FC) who almost burned his expensive bungalows while lighting fireworks in his toilet! Imagine that! The toilet is the place to light your fireworks! How big is the toilet? Or Wayne “The Shrek” Rooney (MU) who hired a prostitute old enough to be his grandmother! And he is married to quite a cutie (dumb but still a cutie). Or John “I love screwing my best friend’s wife” Terry (Chelsea). Hasn’t he heard, “Thy shall not covet thy neighbour’s wife!”. Oooh, that’s neighbour’s wife, not best friend’s wife!


Nevertheless it is interesting when you hear the humongous amount of money being paid for transfer fees and their salaries. I must say that I like the system, though it can be open to abuse! Perhaps Khazanah should implement such a system for senior managers of the GLCs. They should be paid based on their skills and experience, and transfer fees are to be paid when they moved from one company to another. Instead of paying some young punks with no business skills, the better their business acumen the higher they get paid and the higher the transfer fees! And if they move from GLCs to non-GLCs the transfer fees be increased by 20%! Of course the headhunters will get paid a percentage of the transfer fees. That way, you get the best talents in the GLCs instead of the morons who graduated from Ivy League universities but have never run businesses in their lives! What say you, my many headhunter friends?


I just read that Talent Corp is helping to train local graduates. Is that their job? Hmm, this is an organization that only has four people in the list of “returning” Malaysian professionals! And when one of the four wanted to make an appointment to see him, the Personal Assistant tried to preach to him about the good things that Talent Corp is trying to do! And did he get an appointment? Nope, the CEO is too busy! And how long have they been in existence? And a young punk with a degree from Oxbridge as the CEO? And from a family of distinguished professionals? And what did his uncle said about him? “He’s an idiot!” Oh, dear, oh dear!!!


Is this what the millions that I have paid in taxes have been spent on? Yes, I have paid a few million in taxes over the 20 years I was in the corporate life! Unbelieveable!  And you wonder why I am so angry!


Now, I have a maid. She is 4 inches tall, never talk and vacuums my tiny luxury studio apartment without any fuss. Once she is done, she goes to sleep. And she cost me RM1,500! That is more than worth it. Imagine paying an idiot RM25,000 per month to run Talent Corp! Eat my golf balls!


“Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots.” - Karl Kraus


“From the naturalistic point of view, all men are equal. There are only two exceptions to this rule of naturalistic equality: geniuses and idiots.” - Mikhail Bakunin


Kas-toi pauv'con!


So to 2102. Do I have a new year resolution? Nope! A waste of bloody time, even for a very disciplined man like me! I am very disciplined in almost everything except what I eat, and the designer things that I buy! I smoke, I eat unhealthy things, I buy designer clothes (I probably have the largest collection of Versace ties and Burberry polo shirts in Malaysia and a few Tod’s shoes), and when it comes to resolutions, I never followed them! Oh, well, man must have his vices!!


I do swear to be nicer to people though and I will help organizations that want my help (to be paid, of course!) in turning their businesses around.


Have a great 2012!


deos enim religuos accepimus, Caesares dedimus – 2nd January 2012


The gods were handed down to us, but we created the Caesars (i.e., the rulers) ourselves.


How true, and yet we blame the rulers and the politicians for the state of the country when we are the ones that put them up there in the first place!


So when I read that there will be an interview with Raja Petra (RPK), the man who is hiding in Manchester , London, about his old friend, Mat Bontot, and the state of the opposition, in the New Sunday Times, 1st January 2012, I could not wait to get a copy of the paper yesterday.


I have to say, it must be some coup by the NST, and by extension, UMNO as well, because RPK definitely got it spot on when it comes to Anwar and the opposition! I am quite sure though that the conspiracy theorists are already guessing how much RPK got paid!


“Opposition “tearing itself apart””. How right he is!


As he rightly pointed out, Anwar is on trial on criminal grounds, though of course the many idiots in Malaysia still think it’s a conspiracy! And as RPK pointed out, even when Nelson Mandela was jailed there was no campaign to free Mandela. Even the Free Mandela Group was a campaign to end apartheid. But of course to Anwar’s supporters, he is bigger than Mandela. As his wife said last year, he is a gift from God! What a stupid a woman, and a medical doctor to boot! I supposed Tammy Wynette, “Stand By Your Man”, must be her favourite song! 


And RPK also pointed out why the Opposition could never rule the country, as they can’t even sort themselves out running just the four states! Everywhere they are fighting among themselves!


And why do they support Anwar? Political expediency! Damned right!


He asked a simple question about Selangor, which had appointed Anwar as the economic adviser. “What’s your advice? In the last three years since you’ve been economic advisers, you’ve gone overseas 60 times in  three years. Shouldn’t you be staying home running the state? Running the party? Running the coalition?.....He seems to be running away”


And now that the court will be delivering its judgement on his sodomy case on 9th January 2012, the Opposition is planning to have a session in one of the mosques for Anwar to swear before the Quran! Isn’t it too late for that? The accuser immediately went to swear at the Wilayah Mosque after coming out with the allegations, many years ago! And what was people’s reaction? That he was insulting the Quran! And now it is okay for Anwar to swear in front of the Quran? So now suddenly when you think that you may be found guilty, you turn to God?? What a bloody hypocrite!


Well, the so call intelligentsia and the bourgeois of Malaysia must be very proud of him now!


And who suffers the most? His children! First he forced them to attend every day of his first trial and listened to all the gory details (except during the testimony of one witness, which was heard in camera)! What kind of a man makes his children listen to all the ugly sexual truth about him? It’s like a rapist making sure all his family members sit in court while all the gory details of the rape is being recounted by the victim! What a great father you are!


So, to his supporters, go to the mosque and witness him insulting the Quran! Because you will be condemned to hell as well!


I just don’t understand Malaysian. You want the freedom to do whatever you want, say whatever you want. But when politicians become racists, you cry foul! What do you expect? In the USA, the Ku Klux Klan is a legal organization. In the UK and France, the National Fronts (white supremacist) are legal political parties! Isn’t that what you want?


“It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.” -Mark Twain


And stop saying that racial politics have no place today! It’s happening everywhere in the world!


And stop saying that we want a Malaysian race! Race is GENETICS! There is no such things as a Malaysian race! There are only the Malay race, the Chinese race and the Indian race! We lived happily before, and as far as I know we have always been aware of the different races around us! We accepted each other, we tolerated each other’s quirks! Why not now? Oh, the politicians! The politicians are only doing it because you demanded it! They are just practicing racial politics for political expediency! You are the racists! You are the ones that make sure your children only mix with your own races! Oh, blame the politicians again! And the education system! Yes, they suck! But what have you done about it?


Hitler did not lead Germany if people did not support his “Aryan Nation” ideas. Musolini did not lead Italy if the Italian did not support his  Italian Fascism ideas!


You want to be just known as Malaysian? And not Malaysian Malays, and not Malaysian Chinese and not Malaysian Indians, like the Indonesians? Then are you willing to close all the Chinese schools and the Indian schools, and only have Malay sounding names, and only speak Malay? Just ask the MCA, the MIC and the DAP? I am sure they will be happy to do that!


So, wake up! You have been enjoying freedom more than the Indonesians, the Singaporean, the Thais, the Burmese, the Filipinos! Be bloody grateful! Sure, the government sucks! Then do something about it. That’s why we have general elections! We are a democracy, whether you agree or not! You just don’t want to accept it! Because you are too stuck-up to admit to your own flawed beliefs!


“The spirit of democracy is not a mechanical thing to be adjusted by abolition of forms. It requires change of heart.” - Mahatma Gandhi


“Dictatorship naturally arises out of democracy, and the most aggravated form of tyranny and slavery out of the most extreme liberty.” - Plato


“Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.” – Oscar Wilde


In the meantime, the case against the Cow Minister is getting more exciting. Now a Datuk is being charged for trying to bribe the police to stop the investigation into the Cow Family! At first I thought the Datuk is a family friend and he was being asked by the family to settle the case. Apparently the Datuk offered his “services” to the Cow Chairman, and the Cow Chairman agreed! Not only this guy does not know anything about cow farming, he is so stupid to agree to such an arrangement! And what does the Cow Minister thinks about it? I am sure the usual reply will be “I don’t know anything about my family’s business!”. You are a real embarrassment to Malaysian women!


Talking about Malaysian women, they have done so much over the years, either in civil service, the corporate sector and even politics!


Just yesterday, I read about the Harley Owners Group (HOG) Malaysia Chapter, which apparently has 50 women members, all owning Harley bikes! Now, for a country as small as us, 50 female Harley owners must be very big! “I feel confident when I ride my Harley Sportster and it boosts my spirit even more, especially as my son calls me the “world’s coolest mom””. Ride on, sister!!


And who can forget Rafidah Aziz, the former Minister of International Trade and Industry, who was called the “Iron Lady”! Even the American negotiators at the WTO was scared “shit” of her! I have had many encounters with her, including on the golf courses, and she is definitely one woman I would not want to mess with! But of course she will be remembered more for her so called misdeeds! After all human beings are more interested in the flaws of others than the good that people do! I don’t like what she did wrong, but that didn’t stop me from admiring her! Similar to the fact that I hate Steve Jobs, but I admire his genius!


And what I don’t understand most of the time is that women are women’s biggest enemies!


Men, of course have plenty of reasons to hate these powerful women! These woman are real threats to them and their egos! That’s why most of these women are married to “wimps”, like the Cow Chairman! Have you seen how he answers phone calls from her? Like a slave being whipped by his dominatrix mistress!


“If people want to believe I'm a dominatrix in my spare time, that's fine with me — I mean, I'm definitely happy to smack people around if that's what they really want.” – Jane Wiedlin


“The higher mental development of woman, the less possible it is for her to meet a congenial male who will see in her, not only sex, but also the human being, the friend, the comrade and strong individuality, who cannot and ought not lose a single trait of her character.” - Emma Goldman


“It’s bad, we’re always fighting. I only listen to him for two hours a day now. I told him, “When I am on the court, I will listen to you. When we are away from the court, you have to listen to me”” – Li Na (Tennis French Open Champion), about her husband.


deficit omne quod nasciture – 3rd January 2012

Everything that is born passes away.


And yesterday, a former boss and friend, Datuk Salleh Majid, former President of the Kuala Lumpur Stock Exchange, left us.


A flawed genius, a man with the intelligence to know what can bring the Bumiputra into the stock market, and yet a man who never failed to upset his subordinates, family, friends and the powers that be.


A man who once refused to speak to me or even look me in the eye for three years! And when I left the Exchange the first time, he hosted lunch for me and just said, “I hope you are not making a mistake leaving”. And yes, I did make a mistake leaving and returned two years later!


I am not going to spend a lot of time writing about the man. Suffice to say that the mosque was packed with people for the final prayers. People say that the real measure of a man’s contribution to society is the number of people at his funeral.




In the meantime another case of child abandonment was reported in the Star today! Why, oh, why? Children are the gift from God. They are there to be loved and nurtured. Yes, everyone has issues with trying to make a leaving, but to leave a child starving, alone??? For God sake, even animals don’t do that! We are supposed to be the higher beings. But from the behaviours of some people, I don’t think we are at all! We are worse than the animals!


The other day, I was at the Kiara Equestrian Club, just sitting by the pool. I was having chicken wings, and this cat came along. So I gave the cat a small piece of my chicken. The cat took it and ran off. Five minutes later the cat came back, and I gave another small piece. Again it disappeared. Another five minutes, it came again, so this time I gave a whole wing. The cat didn’t return for 15 minutes. And I was wondering where it had gone. So I went looking for it, and there “she” was feeding her three kittens!


We are fond of saying that we are better because we have brains. No, animals have brains too. Animals know what is love, what is hate and what is pain. Do we?


I don’t have children of my own, as I was a selfish SOB who was only interested with my career! I have now realized what an idiot I was. I am now trying to be a part-time father to a 7 year old girl, and I love her to bits! I want to nurture her, and I want to see her grow as a great person!


No matter what your problems are, don’t take it out on your children!


On the political front, the knives are out for RPK, and not surprising. Like many of YOU, PKR has accused RPK of being paid by UMNO. So predictable, isn’t it? People just don’t want to know the truth, because the truth hurts! And you guys think you guys are educated, intelligent, successful? Bollocks!!!


Hang on, PKR, RPK, same initials, different order! Conspiracy!!!!!


We all know that RPK is a wanker, but at least he is honest! Are you???


Today, in the comic section of the Star, I saw Garfield as always and I laughed. He was looking at his owner Jon, and then said, “Don’t ever change, Jon!”, “Want to look like a winner? Hang around a loser”. That’s what I am doing, hanging around the rich and educated guys and looking like a winner!


Sad, isn’t it?


A man who was so intelligent, and yet failed in every business venture, died almost a pauper! No money, no nothing! And yet, I am surrounded by rich people and no intelligence!


Today, I received an e-mail again about the e-mail that screamed “The EPF is looting us!” The good friend asked me, “What do you think? I received this e-mail”. And my response, in not so many words, “The writer obviously has a PHd is Economics but with an IQ of a garden snail!”. I also attached the write-up by Dr Lim Ewe Ghee, which I had retyped and sent earlier to a friend in Washington.


Just because you can include some colourful charts and statistics, does not make you intelligent! I do that all the time to Board of Directors, because I know they will be impressed and won’t dare question my numbers!


Last week, when I was presenting a talk on business planning to a government owned organization, someone asked me, “En Fathi, what do you think of the quality of directors in the GLCs?”. I look the questioner straight in his eyes, and said, “They are a bunch of idiots! I can manipulate them anytime that I want to!”


Just look at the GLCs Board of Directors. Full of ex-government servants, who have no clue how to run businesses, and most of the time no clue what the managements are doing! And what was the reason for appointing them in the first place? To reward them for long service to the government!


What!!! Eat my golf balls!!!


Sure, they deserved to be rewarded. But that’s not a reward. Being a Board member is about being responsible, about guiding the management on how to run businesses properly, about corporate governance. Many of this guys and ladies can’t even spell corporate governance!


I remembered once being interviewed by a government owned (non-GLC) organization for a CEO post. The lady Board member  from the Finance Ministry (and she’s quite cute) just looked at me doe-eyed! I thought, it can’t be my looks! Common ladies, you got to be blind to fall for my looks! Or only if you look like Fiona in Shrek, will you fall for me! He he!! Sorry, my darling Yasmin (not meant for you).


Sad, sad state of the GLCs. Run by Ivy League graduates with no business intelligence, and Board members with no business skills! No wonder they are screwed!


And then in Tanjong Malim, we have a bunch of future teachers wrecking the clinic during their demonstration against the Universities Act! What has the clinic got to do with the Universities Act? And these are the teachers that are going to be teaching your kids to be better citizens?


These are a bunch of idiots who don’t even know what they fighting for! But it is fashionable nowadays to take part in demonstrations! Just like some of you have done! We want political freedom!!! We want freedom of speech!!


Go and live in Tibet! And burn yourselves like the 6 Tibetan monks last year. Or, live in Myanmar, where apparently the laws are less strict when it comes to demonstrations! Do you have brains??? Of course you do!! You just don’t know how to use it!!!


“I don't think there's anything unique about human intelligence. All the neurons in the brain that make up perceptions and emotions operate in a binary fashion.” - Bill Gates


“Shall I not have intelligence with the earth? Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.” - Henry David Thoreau


“It is impossible to underrate human intelligence - beginning with one's own” - Henry Brooks Adams


Unfortunately Mr Brooks is quaking in his grave now! Because not only is human intelligence overrated in Malaysia, there is no intelligence at all!


consuetudo est altera lex – 6th January 2012

“Custom is another law”


First I need to apologize to all of you if you have received more than one copy of my last e-mail as I am having problems with my Outlook. I am very sure that I will be able to solve it soon, as this time it does not involve any hardware. But it will take some time as I am just too busy with preparing some charts for my next corporate presentation.


Anyway, today is not about my PC.


It is amazing that every time the newspapers or local magazines feature an expatriate, the views on the country are almost always positive. Malaysians are a polite lot! Hmmm, maybe they haven’t actually met real Malaysians?


Malaysians are supposedly known for politeness and friendliness, yet every day all we encounter are ugly Malaysians. Take my very brief encounter today with an elderly lady (at least 70 years of age) in the lift with a supermarket shopping trolley. She was with her middle-aged daughter.


From the way they are dressed, at least one of them must be “titled”. The typical “Datin look”. First the mother looked at me when I walked into the lift as if I am some gangster who is about to rob her. I wasn’t in my torn jeans. I was in my usual Burberry. Sure, I am bald, and in the olds days bald men were basically convicts who have just been released from jail. But this is 2012, and if you are in the IT business, you don’t have street “cred” if you are not bald! Anyway, I shaved  my head because if I don’t all you will see are grey hairs! It is so much easier. I don’t like dying my hair black, like some of my friends, whose hairs get blacker and blacker as they grow older!


When we finally reached the ground floor, naturally I held the lift door for her to push her trolley out. She just walked pass without a thank you. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting any. But I find it rather amusing.


It is something that I see every day, and most of the time the person who did not say thank you is almost always the educated and the rich ones!


Like I have said many times, I sit at the Golfers Terrace of the KLGCC, almost every day, so much so that most of the workers there know me by name. Some even know what drinks I will order when I walked in! And every time I am served, I’ll just say “thank you”. It didn’t cost me anything!


But almost always, no one ever say thank you there when they are served. In fact many don’t even bother to look up at the waiters/waitresses when they bring the food/ drinks! And these are “titled” people!


Sure some people complained about bad service some times. But as many would know, the F&B business is tough, especially when it comes to workers. Though many venues try as much to train them (like in KLGC), the staff turnover is very high. These guys are not paid a lot of money, and yet they are expected to be courteous even when the customers are behaving like some African dictators!


We all know about the ex-minister (who is now an ambassador to some big country) whose membership application at the Royal Selangor Golf Club was rejected because one day he sat in the changing room, lifted his two feet up and ordered the attendant to tie his shoe laces! Obviously he then joined the KLGCC, because all it took to join are humongous amount of money! That’s why on an average day, just go to the Members’ Parking Lot, and you will find cars worth at least RM50 million parked there! And I am not talking about 1,000 cars, maybe 40 at the most! During the weekends, the value of the cars parked would probably be enough to feed a small African nation! And it makes my Mercedes looks like a cheap Czechoslovakian car from the 80’s!


I have seen some of these members screamed at the waiters just because the food was 2 minutes late, or 1.5 degrees lower than the right temperature!


“A man's manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


“Conventional manners are a kind of literacy test for the alien who comes among us.” - Katharine Fullerton Gerould


And I heard this ambassador now wants to come back to the country for good, and become the next Chief Minister of the largest state in West Malaysia. Why Chief Minister and not a Federal Minister? Because a Chief Minister’s post is more powerful than a Federal Minister. It is like becoming the Empress Dowager of your own state!


Now, back to the old lady. Would she have said thank you” if her grandchildren were with here, since her daughter definitely wasn’t taught to say thank you! I am sure she still won’t say thank you, and the grandchildren will also probably have not learned to say thank you!


The staff at KLGCC treats me very well, in fact too well. And I have never tipped them, as everything is signed to my account! All it takes is being nice to them! But obviously such a thing is too difficult for the rich amongst us!


Why am I writing on such a petty issue of a simple lack of courtesy? Because it is symptomatic of the bigger issues affecting the country and society.


When society lacks common decency, the society will be govern by people with the lack of common decency. Because the politicians elected to govern the country are just the reflection of the people.


“America gets the politicians they deserve. That's it. And you keep struggling.”- Al Lewis


So when you elect rubbish politicians, you get rubbish. A friend just told me that rubbish in Shah Alam has not been collected for some time. Now if simple basic service cannot be performed, don’t talk about economic development! And now the Selangor Economic Advisor (who is a gift from God) says, “I am just an advisor”. Ohhh, just an advisor!


In the meantime, I am eagerly waiting for the decision of the government on what they would do to the Immigration, General Operations Force, Customs, and  Road Transport Department officers manning our borders who are raking RM5,000 a day from bribes from smugglers!


Well, in typical fashion, the Transport Minister has already said, “the report was “inaccurate””. Which part Datuk Seri? The RM5,000 part? You mean it is a lot more than that?


And the Customs deputy director-general (enforcement) said “the border was patrolled by other agencies as well, and thus, it was not fair to single out his department”! Hmmm, if my English is correct, no one singled out his department. In fact all four departments were implicated (by video evidence!)! So, what do you mean by “singled out” Datuk?


Is your “England” not very good? Or you are just pissed off that your department has been caught red-handed?


And the conspiracy theorists are going, “This must be the Opposition tipping the newspaper to embarrass the government”! Ha, yes, the newspaper that is owned by the government is now influenced by the Opposition! That must be it! They are going to win the election soon!


Has there been any comments by the Opposition? Of course not, corruption amongst the lower strata of society is of no political value to them! It is not going to win them votes! And they have a bigger worry to think about! The most important issue for the Opposition is not about the country but about ONE MAN! Their leader!!! He is a GIFT FROM GOD!!! He is BIGGER than Nelson Mandela!!! His issue is a bigger issue than the Cow Minister refusing to resign!!!


What choice have we got???


A devil you know or a devil that you don’t know? Sad, isn’t it???


Someone just sent me an article by Mathias Chang that said “RPK has lost the plot!”. All of us has lost the plots!!!


Do I give a shit? Nope. This country can burn for all I care! I am just going to sit and watch, and I won’t run to my homes in London, or Australia, because I don’t have any!


You the CITIZENS asked for this! You PAY for it!!!


cacoethes scribendi – 7th January 2012

Cacoethes scribendi must be the disease that I am suffering right now, because the phrase means “insatiable desire to write” or maybe its calix meus inebrians, “my cup making me drunk”.


I don’t care! I am not hurting anyone except their mind!


Anyway, today is not about my insanity, but about another word that seems to be rarely said nowadays. The other day, I mentioned two words, “thank you”.


Today, it is the word that has even been immortalized in songs, one even by Elton John. You know, Elton John, PKR’s pop idol, and his song “Sorry seems to be the hardest word”. Oops, it is not Elton John who is the pop idol, it’s Tammy Wynette, “Stand By Your Man” or is it “Stand Behind Your Man (while he is bending down)”?


Yup, “sorry”, and this is just not rarely said in Malaysia, it is a global phenomenon! However, the disease tend to afflict men more than women!


Now, I have mentioned about the 4 “kurang ajar” Bumiputra golfers at KLGCC who hit their balls while Datuk Mohaiyani and I were still putting on the 18th green. But that is expected, after all they are successful Bumiputras that lived in big bungalows! I don’t live in a bungalow, though my dearest Datuk Mohaiyani does, and I like her bungalow!


As I said it is a global phenomenon! Those who follow the English Premier League rabidly (like me), you are fully aware of the case of Senor Luis Suarez, the Uruguayan footballer who is now plying his trade in England with the bitter rival of my beloved MU, Liverpool. In their (MU and Liverpool) 183rd meeting (and their rivalry has been going on for centuries), Senor Suarez called the French African Monsieur Patrice Evra, “negro” seven times! Now Senor Suarez said that in Uruguay, “negro” is not an insult, in fact his own wife affectionately calls him “negro”.


Hmmm, well, if you had watched the game, the word was said not because Senor Suarez was being affectionate with Monsieur Evra (otherwise Senor Suarez’s wife would not be living with him still, in Liverpool!), but clearly to rile Monsieur Evra who was marking him.


Despite being banned for eight games, and fined humongous amount of money, he still refuse to admit that he was insulting anyone, in fact in his latest statement, he does not sound very contrite at all!


Now, anyone who watched the World Cup in South Africa last year would know that Senor Suarez, despite not understanding the word “negro” also does not understand the word “sportsmanship”. He actually stopped a goal-bound ball with his hand, and when the poor guy from the African team that Uruguay was playing against missed the ensuing penalty, Senor Suarez laughed and clapped his hands! So what is he? A real wanker! Duh!!! Eat my golf balls!!


Monsieur Evra isn’t a great character himself, as he led a rebellion by the French team at the World Cup against their hapless manager! But he was brought up in the “banlieues” of Paris. Banlieues are like Jinjang in KL, except in Jinjang, everyone carries the latest iPhone with the ringtones blaring Andy Kwok’s songs! And they all drive Honda Civics with gigantic exhaust pipes! And you can hear all the latest Hong Kong pop songs blaring from their cars! Damned! I don’t think that’s a good comparison at all! Ok, it’s more like Queens in New York, where if you are white, you definitely won’t dare go there! Would a white dare call someone there negro? Nak mampus?” (You want to die?)


But what made it worse was the fact that the Liverpool Manager, “King” Kenny Dalglish kept supporting Senor Suarez! Hmmm, when you are wrong, you are wrong, but Mr Dalglish is Scottish (Sorry Katie!). Now you know why the English looks down on the Scottish! Actually it is not because they are less cultured or anything like that, but because the English can’t understand a word when a Scotsman speaks! That’s why they had to send Prince William to do his degree in Scotland!!! So that the Queen and the royal family will finally understand the Scottish! And there is already a strong movement in Scotland to become a republic or at least a commonwealth country with its own government. I can hear the Queen going, “We are not amused!”.


Now, the “banlieues” have been burned many times over, due to the austerity measures by the French government. What? You don’t know what “austerity measures” are? You mean, no kampongs have been burned by the population because they are so poor that they cannot eat? Huh, I thought we live in such a poor country, despite me being surrounded by so many rich people!


Hmm, then why did the students destroy the clinic at Tanjong Malim? They are not poor? What, their studies are paid by the government? Hmm, maybe they are showing solidarity with their “brothers” in Paris?


So why are we having a demonstration this coming Monday? Not to fight for the poor? Not to fight against corruption? Not to fight against Cow Minister? Oh, to sing “Stand behind your man”! I am not going if Tammy Wynette is not coming? Sorry! 


But let’s burn the courts if the verdict is unfavourable to Tammy Wynette’s fans! Damned! The Special Branch is going to finally have something to put into my file, which has been empty all these years, according to my Special Branch source! Why do I have a Special Branch file? Don’t ask! Suffice to say because once I had the information on all the ownerships of shares of listed companies in the country, and all I need to do was press a few keys on my terminal’s keyboard  in my humongous office!


Now, as I said the disease tends to afflict men more than women. The reason is very simple, ego! Saying sorry for a man would mean letting go of his ego, and that is simply a “No-no!” Sorry, guys! See, very easy, isn’t it?


Of course, in Malaysia, we seem to see the disease affecting some women too, like the Cow Minister. But then, she’s a minister, who lost in the last election (to a woman young enough to be her daughter), and who got appointed a minister the “back-door” way, by being appointed a Senator!


The last I heard (from my spies), the Cow Minister has approached the Empress Dowager to save her, though the former good friend of both of them told me that the Empress Dowager hates the Cow Minister! Tsk, tsk, tsk, women are bitchy, aren’t they?


Oh, talking about ministers, an old friend had breakfast with me this morning. As you all know, I did not name the former minister who is now an ambassador who wants to become a chief minister, who also owns a swanky place in Washington (according to my Washington source, hah, you think I only have local sources?) and a horny bastard! My friend asked me, “Are you referring to “XX” (his initials)?” Man, his reputation precedes him. Then she said, “I hate the guy!” Which woman doesn’t? Except his wife who has a PHd! Oh, well, “Stand By Your Man”, sing along now. I am quite sure the poor woman has suffered enough for me to rub it in! Sorry Doc!


So, we are good friends with Singapore now? He he! And a tunnel is going to be built between Johor and Singapore. Wow, we have two bridges, one hardly used, a rail service, a few airlines plying between KL and Changi, and now a tunnel! What will be carried through the tunnels? The many millions that the Empress Dowager has amassed? Eh, you have not heard of private jets, mah?


And talking about private jets, someone has told me that a Non-Executive Chairman of a GLC always insists on travelling by private jets whenever he wants to go anywhere! No wonder, the CEO got sacked! I am not going to give you guys any hint, because I might get into trouble with this one, and I have friends who are close to the man and play golf with the man! Suffice to say that he is a “special member” of my club, KLGCC.


And talking about the bad habits of Malaysians, today I encountered another old lady, probably in her mid-60’s at the Times Bookstore at my place. She just bought some toys from the bookstore (presumably for her grandchildren), and you have to be at least middle class to be buying toys at the bookstore. She spoke in English and told the cashier that she wants the 10% discount that is given to those who has the Times Loyalty Card, which actually belongs to her son, and of course she did not have with her. When the cashier asked for the name of the son, she gave the name, and the cashier checked in the system. No such name appeared! But she insisted that her son has the card. So the cashier then asked her if she could call her son. She said her son is in Australia. Ah, yes, you cannot contact Malaysians in Australia, because to protect the koalas, Malaysians are banned from receiving calls on their mobile phones while in Australia! You know how loud Malaysians are when they talk on the mobile phones! Koalas don’t like that! But because she insisted that her son has the card, the nice cashier gave her the discount anyway. How much? RM9.60!!! Not enough to pay for one-sleeve (3 balls) of my golf balls! I honestly don’t know whether she is telling the truth about the son having the card. But the way she was insisting, I thought the discount was in the hundreds! And the poor cashier who gets paid a pittance will probably has to fork his own money for the discount because he did not key-in the discount card number into the system!


So that’s Malaysians for you! Ungrateful, rude, and would insist on discounts, even if it is just RM1!


To those of you who love conspiracies, this one that have been put to me, regarding the plans by Air Asia-X to scrap four routes, including the most lucrative London route. The theory goes like this. This is one way to save MAS from having to compete with Air-Asia X. Air Asia will in the future just be the regional feeder for MAS. In other words, all long haul flights will only be handled by MAS, and KL will be a regional hub. All regional flights will then be handled by Air Asia. In other words, Tony Fernandez has sold his soul to the devil, and he will be allowed to continue building his empire, albeit regionally!


Why this does not make sense?


First there’s Air Asia and then there’s Air Asia X. Two separate companies with the same owners. One fly regionally and one long haul. Both are for budget travellers. Different segment from MAS. Now, with regards to the London routes, MAS is not competing against Air Asia X, again different segment and even different airport, one Heathrow, and one Gatwick. MAS is competing against SIA, Emirates, Etihad, KLM, and maybe soon British Airways. And MAS will lose! Now, since MAS also owns part of Air Asia, the regional hub idea makes sense, but not the Air Asia X part. So, I am sticking to the theory that the young idiot (with the degree from Yale or Stanford) who runs Air Asia X has no clue what running a business is all about!!!


Passe un bon weekend


perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim – 9th January 2012

“Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you.”


Yup, I am going to inflict more pain on you by continuing my rants against the bad habits of Malaysians.


“What is it this time?”, I can already hear someone saying.


I have always had problems with public toilet. It was so bad at one time that I will always look for hotels whenever I was out shopping and needed a toilet, as hotels’ toilets tend to be cleaner than public toilets.


I also have IBS, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which means that every time I have a meal, I need to go to toilet. Now, with diabetes, the condition is even worse, as any sufferer of diabetes will be able to tell you that we tend to urinate a lot.


Yesterday, as usual on Sundays when I am not golfing, I went down to the shopping centre next to my service apartment to have breakfast at my favourite Malay restaurant. And as usual, Nasi Lemak was the order of the day. Once I finished eating, my customary visit to the toilet will have to be performed. So off I went to the toilet inside the shopping centre.


Now, I live in an “expatriate area”, where as a Malaysian I am a minority. The toilet, though not great, is fairly decent. And it was fairly early in the morning on a Sunday. But what did I encounter when I entered the only available cubicle? The toilet seat “sprinkled” with urine!


Now, it could have been a non-Malaysian who did that, or the many immigrant workers, as practically all the restaurants here are served by immigrant workers, but everyone knows about Malaysians and public toilets!


So I ended up cleaning the toilet seat thoroughly first, as that was the only cubicle available and when I have to go I have to go.


How bad are Malaysian public toilets? So bad that when you google “dirty public toilets in Malaysia, you get 237,000 results, and there are forums discussing the issue!


So bad that Yahoo Answers has “Why are public toilets in Malaysia always wet?”


I once saw a Malaysian telling his young son to just pee into the toilet bowl with the seat down. I really felt like telling him off! And he was talking to his son in English. Not educated??


Shameful!!! Eat my golf ball!!


The other day, I had an argument with my loved one when she said that as a country that is 54 years old, it is quite young, which of course I disagreed. We were talking about political maturity, and how Malaysians just cannot accept criticism. The argument came about after reading about the famous Chef Wan who decided to close his Facebook account after getting vile remarks on his page. The remarks came because he was rather blunt in his criticism while being a judge on a reality program. And Malays hate being critized!


I had a funny incident in my car the other day with the little girl. Her mother mentioned her “Ah Beng” colleague. The little girl asked, “What’s an Ah Beng”? And me in my usual sarcasm and whatever, said, “Ah Beng is someone who wears tight jeans, listens to Andy Kwok’s songs and drives a Honda Civic”. She went, “Huh!”. And then I said, “When you get home, watch “Wah La Toi” on Astro.” And she went, “Are you Chinese then?”. I could not come up with a coherent answer after that!


Now, this girl does not know anything about race. She thinks she’s half “Mat Salleh” (white foreigner), and she thinks I am “Mat Salleh”. Why does she thinks she is half-Mat Salleh? I have no idea, and neither does her mother. She thinks I am Mat Salleh because I speak English!


The fact that she doesn’t understand race is good, in some ways. But to me that is frightening, as the main reason why Malaysians are so polarized today is because we don’t know the differences between the races, and to a lot of young Malaysians, they only know other races from what their parents tell them (which is not always correct) and from what they read, and not by proper social interactions! The Malay parents will talk about the greedy Chinese businessmen, the Chinese will talk about the lazy and corrupt Malays, and the Indian will talk about …..Hindi movies?? We are all guilty sometimes when it comes to racial profiling, just like what I did to the little girl. We don’t realize that what we say can have a lasting impact on the young ones.


I am seriously pushing her mother to get out of her almost single race school, as I don’t want her growing up prejudiced. As it is she told her mother that she is the only one in school that speaks English!


Now, like many of you, I grew up in a multi-racial environment. I went to a “missionary” school where only about 15% of the population were Malays. Most of my school friends were non-Malays, and my neighbourhood friends were Malays. During Hari Raya, my house was full of my non-Malay friends. We all understood each other, we knew our racial differences, and we tolerated each other’s quirks. And in as far as school is concerned, we will beat the shit of our rival schools when we need to, together!


“As much as everyone wants to downplay racism, it exists. There's a great mistrust among some African-Americans of white people.” - Steve Mitchell


“Education in this country is about how to maintain the status quo and to perpetuate racism.” - Jane Elliot


“Everybody's scared for their ass. There aren't too many people ready to die for racism. They'll kill for racism but they won't die for racism.” - Florynce R. Kennedy


So, when I went to boarding school after my form 3 where the population was 95% Malay, I had a real culture shock! I even got into fights with the seniors as I am not one to take anything sitting down!


I am a Capricorn and a dragon! Lethal combination! We are very temperamental people!


Capricorns are the most ambitious and mysterious of all the signs.


Capricorns are intensely very private. Anyone knows who Sir Alex Ferguson, Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean) and Sir Anthony (Hannibal Lecter) Hopkins are married to? Or which man Ricky Martin is shagging with?


Capricorns can be very aloof and arrogant, but can also be very down to earth.


Capricorns are very romantic but can also be very violent (Al Capone, Batista)


Capricorns can be very funny (Mr Bean, Tracy Ulman, Andy Kaufman) but can also be very serious (Mr Bean when not in character, Andy Kaufman).


Capricorns can be very disciplined but can also be very laid-back.


Capricorns can be the best friends you ever have or the worst enemies you will ever have.


In other words, full of contradictions! And can be very difficult to be with. But we are the most pragmatic of all the signs too! The realists!


In most instances, people who are married to Capricorns tend to be very devoted to them (hint, hint, my darling), because if they are not they will never be able to live with them.


So, if you are married to one, or have children that are Capricorns, you will never know who they really are deep down!


We are at our best when in leadership roles. Because we love leading and nurturing. But if we can’t be number 1, we have to be number 2. And we will expect a lot from number 1. And if number 1 can’t handle us, number 1 will be in big trouble!


More than a month ago, a lady Datuk Board member of one of the largest companies in Malaysia called a friend of mine and asked what he thought of me. She asked “Is he CEO material or COO material?”. Now the lady has known me for many years, and we used to be close at one time but lost touch in the last five years. I used to call her “kakak” (sister). My friend told her that I would be better as a COO. I was fine with that. I wasn’t interested in becoming a CEO of that company as it is full of idiots (GLC mah!), and even I do, I don’t think I can manage it. She then played golf with me and asked me if I was interested in joining the company. I told her she can talk to the CEO (who knows me) but I am not asking for the job. To be honest I really don’t want to go there as I was there before, and I did not last very long!


Sure enough, I never got a call from the CEO. I can already imagine what was in his mind when the lady Datuk mentioned my name. “Fathi? I can’t control him!”. He knows me quite well, and in fact he is a fellow Capricorn, who even shares the same birthday with me (albeit a difference of 1 year). The man is a control freak, which is very un-Capricorn like (now this is where nurture trumps nature). He had a bad mentor! And I know the mentor very well too! The fact is, he doesn’t know me at all, despite calling me a friend.


Most people don’t really know me well, not even my closest friends! And that’s a Capricorn for you!!! So you will never know the real men or women (Capricorns) that you are sleeping with next to you every night, or the sons and daughters (Capricorns) that you love.


We can be condescending, arrogant and aloof, but we are honest in the most blunt ways! If I call you stupid, it is because you deserved to be called stupid! Deal with it! Whether you like me or not, I don’t care! I answer only to God!


On the political front, PAS has finally gotten rid of the thorn in their sides. Not very surprising, isn’t it?


And “Mat Bontot” has been acquitted! I am disappointed, but not surprised! Check-mate the Opposition!! Exactly what BN wants! The guy has become irrelevant, and what better way to destroy the Opposition by letting them be led by a wanker! I am not going to stop laughing until the next election! So to the conspiracy theorists that thinks that the judiciary is not independent, you have got it right! It’s a big gamble by the government, but I would have done the same. Why bother about one man, when he is going to destroy the Opposition from the inside?


Sing along now, “Stand By Your Man”.


What a sad state of the country! When people can’t even do simple things like say “thank you”, or “sorry” or how to behave in toilets, and we expect them to understand the complexities of politics? No way, Jose!!!


“We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate. “ - Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard


“Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.” – Plato


Do I care? Nope, I don’t give a f**k!. Am I finally going to vote? Maybe, but not for any particular party, but for the candidate, irrespective of the party.


No matter who wins in the next general elections, the country will not get better. If BN wins convincingly, corruptions will continue unabated and more Birkin bags will be sold in Malaysia, and if the Opposition wins, more racial bigots will come out to disrupt the country led by the DAP coalition. DAP led?? Of course! You think they are going to let a wanker run the country? Will corruption stop? Definitely not! Because the PKR guys are just waiting to get their hands on the riches that were denied from them when they left UMNO!


Whose fault is that? Society, meaning YOU!!!


Bigotry is the sacred disease – 11th January 2012

Yup, bigotry is a disease, a disease that is as old as time itself!


My commentary this week looks at the controversy surrounding the “Malay bread” and the “Chinese bread”, “When bread has race” in the Sunday Star, 8th January 2012.


This is just simply beyond comprehension.


But some bigots have made it their duty to urge the Chinese to boycott Gardenia, and instead buy Massimo! Gardenia is 30% owned by Bernas, which is of course owned by Syed Mokhtar (the richest Malay in Malaysia and eight richest Malaysian), and Massimo, owned by Robert Kuok (a Chinese and the richest Malaysian). How would people react if someone starts urging Malays to stop using Yes (owned by Francis Yeoh, a Chinese) and P1 (owned by a Chinese) and use TM Unifi instead (owned by the government and run by Malays)?


Sick, isn’t it??? Of course not, they are just exercising their freedom of speech! I hear the liberals saying!


When countries burned, do you see the liberals coming out and saying, “Great job, guys!!!”. Or them coming out quoting Voltaire?


A bunch of wankers!!! Eat my golf balls!!


“Bigotry or prejudice in any form is more than a problem; it is a deep-seated evil within our society.” - Judith Light


“Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.” - Maya Angelou


If you ask me, I think Syed Mokhtar is one greedy SOB! And I don’t even like Gardenia. I prefer High5 (which is Chinese owned!) But to stoop to this level is just sick to me! Worse than Anwar!!! And that says a lot, as to me no one is worse than Anwar in this country!!!


Some people has been wondering why am I so virulent in my remarks about Anwar? Simple, because I have seen the truth!!!


But some people are arguing, “You are being personal!”. Of course I am. It is very personal to me, because the man wants to run the country, and there is no way I would want a wanker of the worse sort to run the country!


Like most Malaysians, when he was first arrested I believed that it was typical Mahathir, when dealing with his adversaries. But then I started talking to people in the know, and over the years I have met more people (who are very, very trustworthy) who have given me more evidence of the sickness of the man! The man is sick!!! And I am not against people who have different sexual orientations. That’s everyone’s personal choice, and one that only one can answer. But the man is SICK!!!


Just look at the trial (which was circus). He never denied being at the condo! What was he doing there in the first place? Playing monopoly? And the defence team never once call the accuser to justify his allegations! Instead they were trying to find every loop hole to get Anwar acquitted! They even tried to get the judge to recuse himself, because they said he was biased! Now that he has acquitted the guy, is the guy still biased? What can you expect from Karpal Singh! He will do anything to get his man freed! Principle does not have a place in his life!


No!!! The government wants to acquit Anwar, instead of making him a martyr, say the conspiracy theorist!! Ahhh, you can’t win, can you?


But my biggest issue with Anwar is his hypocrisy! And in my books, hypocrisy is the worst sin!


Ok, let’s just ignore his sickness. Let’s look at his track record as a Finance Minister or as  Deputy Prime Minister. What did he do for the country? Nothing!!! He was the Finance Minister when I was in the capital market. What did he introduce that boosted the capital market? Nothing! The guy can’t even spell “capital market”! All he did was enriched his cronies, including a Chinaman who funded all his activities!! Well, at least Mahathir, Machiavellian though he is, gave everyone a chance to make money, irrespective of race. How many Chinaman got rich because of Anwar? One!!!


And only about two months ago, one rich Chinaman decided to sit in front of me at KLGCC and told me, “You know the government is trying very hard to find a way to kill Anwar!”, and what he meant by kill is not “kill Anwar’s political career” but “kill” as in “murder”! I just smiled! After 15 years of knowing him, I just found out that he hasn’t got a brain!


Oh, yes, he has been the “Economic Adviser” for Selangor the last three years. He has travelled overseas 60 times in that period. Did he bring any investment to Selangor? Nope!! All he does in those travels are to spew his hatred for the government and the country! And when he did that, we as Malaysians are also tainted by it! Lim Guan Eng also lambasted the federal government when he is overseas, but at least he is bringing investments to Penang, unlike his spineless professor predecessor who can’t even make a decision on whether he will be contesting at the next elections!


And what did Anwar do after being acquitted? Off to Turkey and India!!! To do what?? If I am him, the first thing I would do as a Muslim would be to fly to Mecca, and thank God!!! After all, he doesn’t need a visa to go to Mecca. The Saudi Arabian rulers love him! No wonder the country is so screwed up! And that is why all failed Muslim dictators run to Saudi Arabia when they are deposed!


And suddenly we are all so happy that finally all the circus is going to stop! Fat chance!!


Just look at the USA. Their elections will also be coming soon. And will people only be talking about Obama’s performance as a sitting president? Of course not! The republican will still be questioning his place of birth, will still be questioning his religion! That’s the only way to attack a black man without being seen as racist! The USA is the most racist country in the world!!! And they are not even multicultural, at least not in the way that Malaysia is!


Unlike most Malaysian (and I am referring to the educated lot, and not the ones in the kampongs), I use my brain when I see things. It has been proven scientifically that most human beings only use 10% of their brains. In Malaysia, I believe it is a lot less! I use a hell lot more than 10%! I analysed, and I analysed and I analysed. And with Anwar, you can throw logic out of the window!


The problem with this country is the fact that people are “uneducated”. We all go to schools, many of us go to universities, many of us go to universities overseas, but all we have are papers showing that we have attended these institutions, but we are not “educated”! And don’t expect your kids to be educated today by a bunch of teachers who are not educated themselves!


“Education is simply the soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another.” - G. K. Chesterson


I have always remembered my teachers, some even their names. One always stood in my mind. Why? Because she was the only that ever slapped me (though I certainly did not deserve the slap)! And I love her for educating me!


“Instruction ends in the school-room, but education ends only with life.” - Frederick W.Robertson


“It is in fact a part of the function of education to help us escape, not from our own time -- for we are bound by that -- but from the intellectual and emotional limitations of our time.” - T.S. Eliot


“Intelligence plus character--that is the goal of true education.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.


“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” - Mahatma Gandhi


I am learning every day! My mind is always working, even when I sleep! Yesterday, a dear old friend asked me, “What’s all the unquiet mind stuff? What, you cannot keep quiet ah?”. I didn’t really give an answer.


Yup, my mind is so active, it is spinning like crazy. It is speeding like a F1 car, except instead of just racing around the track, my mind is racing everywhere! I think when I sleep! In fact I haven’t got real sleep for the last two years! Though I sleep a good 7 to 8 hours every night, I am not really sleeping. I only get about 30 minutes of deep sleep the most! I can think about quantum physics when I sleep!! It is frightening the shit out of me! And I can’t just keep all this thoughts in my head anymore! Because all these years, that’s what I did, and I suffered and finally exploded! I am a Capricorn, and Capricorns like keeping things in their heads! And that’s why most Capricorns are intensely private, because if they are not, they will be spewing everything that is in their heads and people will not like it!


Anyway, enough about me!


In the corporate world, one of the largest banks in the country has appointed a young man (37 years old) as its new Group Managing Director. I don’t know this guy, nor have I heard much about him. He definitely looks a lot older than his age, and I never judge a book by its cover, and I am never good at judging a person from his face. So I will have to consult my “face sifu”.


Dear Sifu (or Sheefu as Jack Black pronounced it in Kung Fu Panda), what can you read from the young man’s photo?


Hmmmm”, the Sifu goes. “He looks a lot older than his age!” (Duh!!! I am not paying for that!)


“He looks honest”. (I have to agree on that too, but I am still not paying!)


“What is his educational background?” (Eh, I thought you can tell that from his face?)


He’s a lawyer, with an LLB with Honours from Manchester Metropolitan University and a Master of Arts with Merit in South East Asian Business World from the University of London. He also holds a Master of Business Administration from Richmond College.


“Lawyer?? But he’s got an honest face!”, the Sifu continues.


Ya, I hate lawyers too! But I have to say that there are honest lawyers too!


“There are honest lawyers?”, the Sifu asked (I swear that’s what the Sifu said!)


Of course there are! For example, for example, for example……. Hang on, ar, Kadir Kassim, my 72 year old golfing buddy!


“You have a 72 year old golfing buddy?”, the Sifu was surprised!


Of course I do! 99.5% of my golfing buddies are older than me, and most are above 55!


And how old are you Sifu?


“I am 150 years old!!!”


Hmmm, you look like you are 28! And he just disappeared into thin air!


Oh, well, for a young man chosen by one of the most respected bankers I have ever known, I am giving the young man every chance to prove himself.


I am quite sure, very soon there will be howls of protest coming out! Why? One, he is young, and two, he is not a Malay and three, he has a female name! Perkasa will be the first to protest! So, good luck Mr Kam! And you can come (no pun intended) and talk to me anytime if you want to learn how to deal with those pricks!


National Chicken and National Pizza – 13th January 2012

Yup, besides having a national car, we are going to have a national chicken soon, if the Malay Chamber of Commerce Malaysia (MCCM) wins the bid for QSR Brands soon.


I just don’t get it, why is it so important for KFC and Pizza Hut to belong to Malaysians? Aren’t these American products?


This is what the president of MCCM, Syed Ali Alattas said, “I had already met two banks actually. We must keep these restaurants under Malaysians, this is important”.


Huh! KFC and Pizza Hut must be kept under Malaysians?


“KFC, founded and also known as Kentucky Fried Chicken, is a chain of fast food restaurants based in Louisville, Kentucky, in the United States. KFC has been a brand and operating segment, termed a concept of Yum! Brands since 1997 when that company was spun off from PepsiCo as Tricon Global Restaurants Inc.

The company was founded as Kentucky Fried Chicken by Colonel Harland Sanders in 1952, though the idea of KFC's fried chicken actually goes back to 1930. Although Sanders died in 1980, he remains an important part of the company's branding and advertisements, and "Colonel Sanders"”


“Pizza Hut (corporately known as Pizza Hut, Inc.) is an American restaurant chain and international franchise that offers different styles of pizza along with side dishes including pasta, buffalo wings, breadsticks, and garlic bread.

Pizza Hut is a subsidiary of Yum! Brands, Inc., the world's largest restaurant company. According to its corporate website, there are more than 6,000 Pizza Hut restaurants in the United States, and more than 5,600 store locations in 94 other countries and territories around the world.”


Now, I can understand if MCCM wants to buy QSR (the owner of the franchise in Malaysia) for the cash-flow. After all Malaysians just love chickens, and the business is good. But to buy QSR because the restaurants need to be kept under Malaysians??


Isn’t the MCCM an organization that represents Malay businesses, and yet it does not have any business sense?


Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! No wonder Malays are not good in business! They run businesses based on emotions and not based on what is good for business!


And the MCCM is offering RM6.90 per share for the 54% stake, 17.2 times earnings! And the whole stake will cost them RM1.087 billion. They will then have to do a General Offer, which will cost them another RM926 million, therefore they will need RM2 billion to acquire the company. And they are going to borrow the whole lot!


At BLR of 6.6%, the interest cost alone will be RM132 million per year! For the year ending December 2011, the company is expected to report a Profit-After-Tax of about RM171 million. If that is expected to be maintained for 2012, that will mean that 77% of the PAT will be used to pay the interest! Now that is assuming that you get a loan with interest at BLR, and we have to remember that BLR is at the lowest now!


So, are we going to soon claim KFC and Pizza as our national restaurants?


“If we decide to take this level of business creating ability nationwide, we'll all be plucking chickens for a living.”-  H Ross Perot


“Physically there is nothing to distinguish human society from the farm-yard except that children are more troublesome and costly than chickens and calves and that men and women are not so completely enslaved as farm stock.” - George Bernard Shaw


Mahathir must be laughing now.


He made Malaysians suffer for years when he introduced the national car, Proton, and now some idiots want to make KFC and Pizza Hut the national restaurants!


Those in the restaurant business better quit now! Soon, those not running KFCs and Pizza Huts will be taxed to protect the national restaurants!


Everyone will be forced to eat fried chickens (and they must be KFC) and pizzas (they must be from pizza huts). Oh, man, there goes my favourite ayam kampong, and the nice thin crispy pizza that I love from Citrus in Bangsar Village 2! I will not be able to afford these anymore as there will a 50% duty on non-KFC local chickens and 200% duty on foreign pizzas! Damned!!! Time to change my diet!


“I want there to be no peasant in my kingdom so poor that he cannot have a chicken in his pot every Sunday” - Henry IV


Eat my golf balls, MCCM!!!


The other day someone asked me what would I do to Proton if I have the power? I said, sell it to a large foreign car maker as there are good assets within the company, like land and the Tanjong Malim plant. The buyer can call it whatever it wants, and even stop making Protons if it wants to! But imposed a condition that Malaysia be made the regional production centre for whatever cars that it is producing.


And stop the protection!!!


Why do we need Proton anymore? It is a pain on the long-suffering motorists!


Thailand is the third largest exporter of cars in Asia, after Japan and South Korea. Thailand produced 1.391 million cars in 2008, and not a single national car! Nissan alone assembled 200,000 cars in 2010! And who owns Nissan? The French! From a company bleeding with costs over-run, it was sold to Renault. No one made a fuss about it!


In 2010, Proton sold 157,000 cars! I don’t know how many they produced, but the main plant in Shah Alam has a capacity of 150,000! Everybody who understands the automotive industry will tell you that break-even point is 1 million car a year!


“Truly a global player, the Thai industry has expanded from its days as strictly an assembler into a major automotive production centre. Automotive exports totalled 775,652 units in 2008. With shipments steaming to 130 countries, Thailand is currently the world’s largest producer of one-ton pickup trucks and the seventh-largest automotive exporter overall. It is the top manufacturer in all of Southeast Asia, with measures in place for expansion” -


Is Malaysia a global player??? Don’t answer that!!!


Doc, our 25-year experiment has failed!!! Shut it down!!!


What has Proton achieved? They sold 3 million cars in 25 years. Just read the description of Hyundai Motor below, and Hyundai sold 3.6 million cars in 2010 alone!!!


“In 1975, the Pony, the first Korean car, was released, with styling by Giorgio Giugiaro of ItalDesign and powertrain technology provided by Japan's Mitsubishi Motors. Exports began in the following year to Ecuador and soon thereafter to the Benelux countries. In 1991, the company succeeded in developing its first proprietary gasoline engine, the four-cylinder Alpha, and transmission, thus paving the way for technological independence.

In 1986, Hyundai exported the Pony to Canada, but not to the United States, because the Pony didn't pass emissions standards there. Canadian sales greatly exceeded expectations, and it was at one point the top-selling car on the Canadian market. The Pony afforded a much higher degree of quality and refinement in the lowest price auto segment than the Eastern-bloc imports of the period then available.

In 1986, Hyundai began to sell cars in the United States, and the Excel was nominated as "Best Product #10" by Fortune magazine, largely because of its affordability. The company began to produce models with its own technology in 1988, beginning with the midsize Sonata.

In 1996, Hyundai Motor India Limited was established with a production plant in Irungattukottai near Chennai, India.

In 1998, Hyundai began to overhaul its image in an attempt to establish itself as a world-class brand. Chung Ju Yung transferred leadership of Hyundai Motor to his son, Chung Mong Koo, in 1999. Hyundai's parent company, Hyundai Motor Group, invested heavily in the quality, design, manufacturing, and long-term research of its vehicles. It added a 10-year or 100,000-mile (160,000 km) warranty to cars sold in the United States and launched an aggressive marketing campaign.

In 2004, Hyundai was ranked second in "initial quality" in a survey/study by J.D. Power and Associates. Hyundai is now one of the top 100 most valuable brands worldwide. Since 2002, Hyundai has also been one of the worldwide official sponsors of the FIFA World Cup.”


They started in 1975. 36 years ago! And where are they now? Do you think Proton is going to be that big in 11 years’ time? No way, Jose!!!!


We have suffered enough!


Because of the stupid experiment, household debts in Malaysia has increased to RM560.1bil as at end-August 2010, of which 25.9% is for car loans! That means RM145 billion is owed to the banks for buying cars!!!


I don’t think any country has such a high ratio of car loans to total household loans!


Is that surprising? Of course not. Cars costs as much as houses, and in many cases even more than houses. A RM1 million Ferrari would cost RM2.3 million in Malaysia. Now imagine that! If a Ferrari in Malaysia cost the same as the one in the UK, how many Ferraris will be parked at my club, KLGCC? Probably the whole car park will be full of Ferraris and one Mercedes (mine!!!). He he!!


Won’t you be buying one? I hear someone saying! Nope, I am still salivating over the new Mercedes CLS. It cost RM234,000 in the UK, cheaper than my E-Class, and Cycle and Carriage is selling the new CLS at RM750,000!


Let’s stop the rubbish now!!! We can’t even sell Proton to third world countries!


Ooooh, but it’s for “national interest”! What national interest?


You mean the interest of the UMNO members who are vendors to Proton who can’t produce the parts cheaply because of the low numbers and then have to receive subsidies from Proton so that they will not lose money?


And how many of them are there? 100? And that’s national interest?


There are 17 million cars in Malaysia. If we take the ratio of 1.5 card per owner, that means there are 11 million car owners in Malaysia. Who is taking care of their interests?


And what is Nadzmi doing trying to do a “management buy-out” which isn’t really a management buy-out? Haven’t you learned anything from your first stint there? And I am sure if he gets to buy, he expects the protection to continue! 


quod est absurdum”


In the meantime, three idiotic and young Bumiputras were jailed for insulting the Empress Dowager by defacing one of the pylons of the LRT with graffiti!


Oi! You guys have not heard about the internet?


And in the EPL, to Monsieur Thierry Henry,  bon de vous voir de retour!


Ego sum rex Romanus et supra grammaticam – 14th January 2012


“I am a Roman king and above grammar.”


That was said by King Sigismund I, Holy Roman Emperor for four years from 1433 until 1437, and the last Emperor of the House of Luxemburg; one of the longest ruling Kings of Hungary, reigning for fifty years from 1387 to 1437; King of Bohemia from 1419, of Lombardia from 1431, and of Germany from 1411.


He had said that in response to a cardinal who ventured to correct Sigismund's Latin.


But when you look at the behaviour of some of the members of the many royal families in Malaysia, they would probably say that in response to any criticism to some of their behaviours.


A few days ago, I received an e-mail relating the encounters with two members of two royal families. I am not going to repeat what I read, because I am sure many would have received the same e-mail (the wonders of the internet), but to those who did not received the e-mail, suffice to say that one encounter was good and another was bad.


To my English friends, the royal families of Malaysia (nine of them) are basically the domain of the Malays. The other races don’t give a shit about them. To the Chinese businessmen, they are only good for giving out titles (many of which are paid for!). I recall many years ago, someone I know actually got four datukships, one each for each founder of the company! When I saw him at a grand wedding of another friend at the Mandarin Oriental, I congratulated him (the new Datuk), and he said, “We go scuba-diving with the Regent”. I almost fell off laughing! Yup, scuba-diving, a RM400,000 scuba-diving trip! One of the four later had tragically died in a motorbike accident in Thailand. He was riding his Harley. I wonder whether he had scuba-dived on his Harley?


I have many friends who are Datuks, and many who are Tan Sri’s (awarded by the King), and even a couple of Tun’s (the highest award by the King). Some of these titles are obviously awarded deservedly, but some, sadly I suspect, were paid for! But that’s Malaysians for you! Titles are very important! Especially if you are a businessman or a government servant!


I remembered once when I had a serious car accidents (the car was almost a total write-off). Of course I could not go to the police station initially to make the police report as I was in the hospital for a couple of days. When I finally went to the police station, the first thing that the Investigating Officer asked me was, “Ini Datuk ke? (Are you a Datuk?). I said no. But he insisted, “Kereta besar ni, mesti Datuk!” (Such a big car, must be a Datuk!). Again I said no. Finally he said, “Tak lah, nanti kalau Datuk, kita kenalah buat betul-betul” (well, if you are a Datuk, we have to do this properly). Imagine that!! If you are a Datuk, they would treat you better, and they will make sure everything is done properly. If not, you could have died for all he cares!


He did treat me nicely and did everything properly. Perhaps he thought I was being modest! Hah, modest! Me???


I sometimes laugh when I read the list of people being awarded titles during the birthdays of the Sultans and the King. There’s always someone I know, and some time the first thing that comes to mind, “This idiot? What has he done for the state/country?” But nowadays, I just smile!


Why do we still need the royals? I honestly don’t know. This debate has been on-going in the UK and even in Australia.


“The institution of Royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.” - Mark Twain


“A family on the throne is an interesting idea. It brings down the pride of sovereignty to the level of petty life.” - Walter Bagehot


“A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when bad, he is entitled to none at all.” - Mark Twain


“A monarchy is the most expensive of all forms of government, the regal state requiring a costly parade, and he who depends on his own power to rule, must strengthen that power by bribing the active and enterprising whom he cannot intimidate.” - James F. Cooper


Sure, some of them has been exemplary, like my Regent (of Perak), Raja Nazrin. Now, the man went to Oxford, and now he is married to one of the most brilliant women I have ever met, Zara Davidson. I met this lady many years ago when we were thinking about doing a take-over of a company. I met her over lunch in a Japanese restaurant. First impression, wow! She’s gorgeous! Tall, willowy, great complexion, and spoke very well. As we sat down over lunch with another friend (who was her boss), she asked me, “Have you got the numbers?”. Now this is 2003, and we don’t have smartphones yet, but me (as usual) was carrying my PDA. She had the same PDA. I said, “Yes, it’s in my PDA”. And she said, “Bluetooth it over”. Wow! I thought! This woman speaks my language! Those days, some people thought “Bluetooth” is a medical condition after eating too many blue berries!! Of course I was already wearing my ubiquitous Bluetooth headset. It was so ubiquitous, that Datuk Azman Yahya (of Symphony House) once remarked, “That Bluetooth thing is surgically implanted in your ears ar?” Yup, it was!


I lost touch with her after that, as the project didn’t get the approval of the “4th Floor boys of the PM’s office”. Those bastards! And they are all now big-shots in some PLC’s, though they know nuts about business. One of them even slept in his cubicle most of the time when he was working at the Exchange. And you wonder why some of the PLC’s are shit!


In the meantime, the Cow Minister has gone on leave, apparently to “facilitate Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) investigations into the National Feedlot Corporation (NFC) controversy.” I thought she said she has nothing to do with NFC! Why does she need to go on leave for MACC to investigate? Isn’t that saying that she has everything to do with NFC? And I really don’t know what “on leave” means! Eat my golf balls!


At the same time, the Empress Dowager has urged “women to stand by their husbands”!


“As a wife, it’s really important for me to give strength to my husband so that he remains strong in serving the people.”


Hello, we already know la! You are the woman behind the throne, oops, you are the woman on the throne! And he has already said, “I am only here because of her!” Oops, that was said in private!


You see, the “Razak Boys” are all “Mama’s Boys”. That’s why all of them are married to fierce women! All mama’s boys do that! No matter how brilliant they are intellectually! So if you want your sons to be married to strong women in the future, treat them like babies! Pamper them, buy their things for them, cook for them every day, treat them better than your husbands! Don’t let them out of your sight!


And the Fatwa Council has approved the indelible ink. Is that a surprise? But are they edible! They better be! We are going to be served KFC and Pizza Hut after voting! And the ink can’t be washed immediately!


Imagine that, Malaysian voters are going to be subjected to the most basic method of preventing electoral fraud. We are so good at adopting technology and yet we are going to use something that is so backwards, that was last used in the Afghanistan election!


And Air Asia-X has finally made the announcement that they will be stopping a few routes including the London route. The London one will stop on 1st April 2012. I hope on that day, they won’t be a big “April Fool!” sign on Tony’s car at the LCCT!


And the reason? Government taxes and fuel price!


Government taxes? Hmmm, as far as I know Air Asia X is a Malaysian company and therefore subjected to Malaysian corporate tax, which I believe have not been increased. In fact since independence 54 years ago, corporate tax has been on a downward trend. Are you referring to Airport Tax then? That’s paid by the customers!


I have also looked at the oil price in the last 3 months, Brent Crude. The price actually peaked in the first week of November 2011 (at USD116) but has even gone down to USD103 in mid-December 2011. It is now at USD111. If you are to average it out, it will probably work out to about USD108. Since the mid-December low, it went up to USD114 a few days ago, and now in a downward move again. Now, a few years ago I remember Tony boasting about how good Air Asia was in hedging. They even made fun of MAS who did not hedge! So what has changed then? Ohhh, he had appointed a young punk (with an American accent) with a degree from Stanford who has no clue or experience in running businesses!


“If you build that foundation, both the moral and the ethical foundation, as well as the business foundation, and the experience foundation, then the building won't crumble.” - Henry Kravis


“Can you really explain to a fish what it's like to walk on land? One day on land is worth a thousand years of talking about it, and one day running a business has exactly the same kind of value.” - Warren Buffett


But knowing how corporate Malaysia works, you will never be punished for failing! It was only last year, in that other airline, the CEO was moved to a cushy job when he was removed from the airline for failing to improve the bottom-line!


And another guy who is failing in his job to attract Malaysian talents abroad cannot be removed because it would be too embarrassing for the Minister that had hand-picked him!


And another scheme to bribe the low income Malaysians was launched today!!! And you still think general election is not coming soon?


I don’t know how the scheme work as I did not bother reading about it, since I won’t be entitled, though I have no income! Maybe I should be like the “kiasu” Singaporeans and drive my Mercedes to wherever they are giving out forms and ask for the form!


To those who still don’t understand what “kiasu” is, here are some of the principles of kiasuism.


“Always must win Never mind what they think

Borrow but never return Outdo everyone you know

Cheap is good Pay only when necessary

Don't trust anyone Quit while you are ahead

Everything also must grab! Rushing and pushing wins the race

Free! Free! Free! Sample are always welcome

Grab first talk later Take but don't give

Help yourself to everything Unless it's free forget it

I first, I want, I everything Vow to be number one

Jump queue Winner takes it ALL! ALL! ALL!

Keep coming back for more Yell if necessary to get what you want

Look for discount Zebras are kiasu because they want to

Must not lose face be both black and white at the same time”


Passe un bon week-end



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