Collections of E-mail Blasts (Latest at the bottom)

17th  December 2011 – 31st December 2011

 

Man in the Middle – 17th December 2011

“Man in the Middle” is a movie in 1963 starring Robert Mitchum and directed by Guy Hamilton. The movie, set in World War II India, tells the story of the murder trial of an American Army officer who killed a British soldier.

 

In cryptography, the man-in-the-middle attack (often abbreviated MITM), bucket brigade attack, or sometimes Janus attack, is a form of active eavesdropping in which the attacker makes independent connections with the victims and relays messages between them, making them believe that they are talking directly to each other over a private connection, when in fact the entire conversation is controlled by the attacker. The attacker must be able to intercept all messages going between the two victims and inject new ones, which is straightforward in many circumstances (for example, an attacker within reception range of an unencrypted Wi-Fi wireless access point, can insert himself as a man-in-the-middle).

 

However in the Star, 16th December 2011, “Man in the middle” refers to the firebrand PAS leader Datuk Dr Hassan Ali, who is in the middle of a political storm.

Now, the gentleman is a doctor, (doctor of what, I have no idea), and he is well known in Selangor for his staunch Islamic stance. First he wanted to ban alcohols from being sold in convenience stores, and then he called for a rally against Christian proselytism. The state's ethnic composition consists of Malay 52.9%, Chinese 27.8%, Indian 13.3%, and other ethnic groups 6%, which means that 47.1% of the population are non-Muslims.

 

Some people still don’t understand that we live in a multi-racial and multi-religious society, and tolerance and acceptance of each other is the cornerstone of this country for many years until the politicians decided a few years ago to use race and religion as political tools!

 

The good doctor is also known for propagating the PAS-UMNO Islamic unity. I am all for Islamic unity. The religion and the followers have taken a lot of bashing since the demise of the Ottoman Empire by the British Empire. Who created Iraq? Who created Syria? Who created Yemen? These countries did not exist before The Treaty of Sčvres in 1920. Why is it called “The Treaty of Sčvres”? Because the representatives signed the treaty in an exhibition room at the famous porcelain factory in Sčvres, France.

 

Without a single and moderate leadership, now Islam is seen as a religion of hate and terrorism instead of religion of peace and knowledge! Whilst the Catholics have Rome (though Romans were pagans until Emperor Constantine I became a Christian before his death in 337) to look upon for guidance, Muslims have to look at people who have their own agendas

 

The Quran is the only holy book that has not changed a single verse since it was first produced. The Bible has had many versions, and so is the Torah.

 

The only thing that has changed with the Quran is the interpretation of the verses, depending on which “Islamic scholar” you talk to. And don’t you dare question their interpretations!  To these “scholars”, you cannot question what they teach you! In other words, when you become a Muslim, you must not use your brains! Hmmm, I wonder why God gives us brains???

 

And no religion teaches hate, only human do!

 

The good doctor is now discovering that PAS isn’t so Islamic after all! Duh!!!

 

Politics is not about what is right or wrong, YB!  And politicians have no principles!!!

 

“There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle.”  - Alexis de Tocqueville

 

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”  - Ernest Benn (no relations to Katie Benn, my friend in Dubai!)

 

So to the good doctor, if he wants to remain a man with religious principles, stay out of politics! Simple!!!

 

On the corporate front, the Employees Provident Fund (which is the third largest in the world) has recorded an 18 per cent growth in investment income. Well done, Tan Sri Azlan Zainol, and his team!

Rumour has it that the good Tan Sri wants to leave as he could not take some of the “political” interference that he faced. Those who know him would know that the man is a “no nonsense” man, and was one of the top bankers in the country before being asked to do “national service”. What a shame if the rumour is true. I have not seen him for some years, and even if I do soon, and ask him, knowing him, he will just smile!

 

In the meantime, the saga (no pun intended) at Proton seems to be getting more and more exciting. Today UMW has issue a statement denying that they are bidding to buy Proton from Khazanah, though everyone is saying that they are! That’s corporate Malaysia for you! Don’t believe what you read!! Want to know anything about corporate Malaysia, ask me!! Ooops! (I am not giving investment tips, Securities Comission!)

 

On another corporate/political front, FELDA (Federal Land Development Authority), is becoming another company that is mired with political interference. Now NGOs are also getting in the act, by demonstrating against people who are against the public listing of the company! And FELDA has asked its General Manager to go on 8 months leave! My knowledge on the Labour Act and Industrial Relations is a bit sketchy now, but isn’t that against the law? Wouldn’t that tantamount to “constructive dismissal”?

 

Malaysian Boleh!!!

 

www.fathi-ridzuan.com

 

Ab imo pectore!

quod me nutrit me destruit – 19th December 2011

“What nourishes me also destroys me.”

 

Why am I quoting the above?

 

Well, to those who have been visiting my web-site, you would have noticed that the Weekly Commentaries for tomorrow are not up yet. Not that I am getting tired of it or worse, getting lazy! Nor did my cat died! I don’t have a cat!

 

My excuse would be the equivalent of “my dog ate my homework”. Except it did not involve any dogs. My laptop/tablet has been eaten by “something” that it is now only a laptop and refuses to be a tablet as well!! Too much multi-tasking, I supposed.

 

So why the quote?? I still can hear someone saying.

 

Well, unlike a lot of Malaysians who basically need nasi lemak, roti canai, thosai, teh tarik to nourish them (I do too, he he), and then to destroy them, my nourishment is my laptop/tablet. And it will also destroy me one day!

 

Last weekend, I discovered that my laptop/tablet is only just a laptop since then, which is not very nice of it. Hey, if I had wanted just a laptop, I would have just paid 2K plus for it, not more than 4K! And since then, I have not had enough sleep! I have tried everything, from searching the whole internet for solutions, downloading drivers, and then wiping the hard disk clean and reinstalled Windows 7, and still the damned thing is just interested in being a laptop ONLY! Now, to most people that’s not a bad thing, but to many it’s everything. Previously I can just prepare a letter (in Microsoft Word) and sign the letter on the screen (using the supplied N-Trig pen). So I don’t need to print, then sign, and then scan the letter. You can’t do that on an Apple i-Pad (hah!!!).

 

The problem seems almost similar to the one I had recently with my new Samsung Galaxy S2, i.e. no one in the world has a solution to it! In the case of the Samsung, I seemed to be the only one (after checking the net) having the problem, though many had almost similar problems. In the case of my Fujitsu T580, I am definitely the only one with the problem!

 

I have come to a conclusion that it is a hardware problem, and that would mean I have been defeated (!!!!!!!) and I have to send the damned thing to Fujitsu! I hate that! I used to have a few laptops lying around the apartment but now I have only one. I suspect some Apple users have cast a spell on me for disparaging the company so much! Know any “bomoh” that can help me? To my English friends, “bomoh” is a “traditional healer”, and the Malays are fond of going to the bomohs even when it is obvious that what is ailing them can be cured by using modern medicine! Please don’t think we Malays are still living in the 15th century, though you may find some of the Malays thinking like they still live in the 15th century, especially the politicians!

 

I remember once when I was doing my “A” Levels in the small quaint town of King’s Lynn, in Norfolk, England, the land of Bernard Mathews turkeys. My economics lecturer used to make fun of me as a Malaysian, though he knows Malaysia very well. One day during a lecturer, he asked me whether we still lived in trees, and I said “Of, course Sir, but my tree has a lift in it, that not only carry my family up and down but can also lift my late dad’s car, so that I don’t have to go down to wash it!”. Of course, he did not laugh, but he never made fun of me again!

 

So basically my weekend was a disaster! No golf, and no sleep! Two things I cherished very, very, much!

 

So, in the meantime, you will just have to be entertained by me using just my e-mail blasts, until I have recovered from my lack of sleep! I can still work on my laptop, but it is very annoying knowing that it is just a laptop! Even a small kid who saw me working on it at KLGCC was impressed by it. Hey, nowadays, it is not easy impressing kids when many of them are carrying i-Pads and tablets around! Jeez, these kids are really a pampered lot! I only had my first laptop (even then it was a company purchased one!) when I was 30! And laptops were more of a novelty then! We are talking about 17 years ago, ok!!!

 

The only thing I want to comment today is the headline in the NST on Saturday, 17th December 2011. I did read my newspapers even though I was tired!

 

The headline said “High-tech vouchers”, and I thought “wow”, until I started reading it! Apparently, the 1.3 million students (in higher education) nationwide will receive their book vouchers (which was announced in the Budget) soon, and “the vouchers would have sophisticated security features to prevent forgery”, according to High Education Minister, Datuk Seri Mohd Khaled Nordin. Again, my English friends, we Malaysians don’t have long names (like me). The “Datuk Seri” is his title. This would be equivalent to a “Sir” in England, but unlike England where you probably can count the number of “Sirs”, in Malaysia there are thousands, if not millions of Datuk, Datuk Seri, Dato’, Datuk Paduka, Datin Paduka and many more! So when you guys finally decide to come over to Malaysia to escape the winters of Europe (besides the storms created by the P.I.I.G.S), when you meet someone with one of the titles, you have to address them by the title. Otherwise they will be insulted!

 

Anyway, so now Malaysia does not only have forgers forging the unforgeable (there’s no such word, by the way) Malaysian passports, the Identity Card (almost unforgeable), now book vouchers too! Malaysians are really “creative”, aren’t they?

 

I don’t know how much a  “high-tech voucher” cost, but I am sure some Bumiputra businessman is now window shopping at Naza Motors to look for a Ferrari! May I suggest the California, it is fun to drive.

 

Now, the government is going to give each student RM200. Each voucher will probably cost RM5 (high-tech mah!!!), but the businessman will be charging RM20 (he can’t go for more than that, otherwise the opposition politicians will make noise!), and he will make RM26 million!!! Let’s say his cost is half (including other expenses), he will make a profit of RM13 million. That’s almost ten Californias!!! I hope Empress Dowager is not behind this!  Soon we will not only have a “cow family”, but also a “voucher family”!

 

Damned!!! I have an IT business, and I never thought of this! I have to eat my own golf balls now!

 

So, to the minister, I only have this quote for him, ““It looks like a galosh with electronics in it.” I don’t know who quoted it, but I am sure it is by someone famous. Otherwise I am claiming it!!

 

www.fathi-ridzuan.com

 

 

Ab imo pectore!

 

Greed is not only good, it is legal now – 20th December 2011

 

Yes, the quote from my favourite movie corporate character Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) in the reprisal of the role in “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps”. This time Mr Douglas has Shia LaBeouf helping him carry the movie. Well, he needs a young man who is popular with the ladies to boost his image! No autobots or megatrons though. What a shame!

 

Why am I quoting the above, instead of the usual Latin quotes?

 

Because I think some Bumiputra businessmen just cannot help themselves to make more and more money and use their connections with the government to do that! Obviously the word “enough” is just not in their vocabulary!

 

First we got the high-tech vouchers (and I am sacrificing my sleep to make sure my “Weekly Commentaries” are up before today, albeit with only one article on the high-tech voucher), now we hear MMC is doing a due diligence on KTMB (the government owned rail company) with the intention of taking over the rail company.

 

Didn’t I write something about public transportation just last week? Hmmm, looks like no one in government has read it!!

 

Hasn’t Syed Mokhtar enough businesses to run, already??? Mining, rice monopoly, postal services, automotive, overpriced tanks, port, IPTV, 4G, IT, Islamic bank, property, hospitality, gas, and now rail! Obviously, “focus” is another word not in his vocabulary! What next? All the schools in the country??? And what about the hospitals too?? Education and hospitals, they make good money. What about MAS, the ailing national carrier? Why don’t we privatize everything that the government owns? Hmmm, maybe Empress Dowager would not allow that! Hey, she need her Birkin bags! By the way, Birkin is having an on-line sale now, Your Majesty! They are many bags going for less than half! I do like the “Baby Blue” ones. Check them out! No one is going to catch you buying them in the London store and see you paying for them in cash!

 

If that is not greed, I don’t know what is?

 

Now, just look at the list of ten richest people in Malaysia below:

 

1.       Robert Kuok

2.       Ananda Krishnan

3.       Lee Kim Hua (the widow of Lim Goh Tong) (gambling and gambling related businesses)

4.       Lee Sin Cheng (oil palm)

5.       Quek Leng Chan

6.       Teh Hong Piow (bank)

7.       Yeoh Tiong Lay

8.       Syed Mokhtar

9.       Vincent Tan

10.     Tiong Hew King (timber)

 

Now, the Tan Sri is number eight on the list. But he probably has more businesses than the other nine combined! And some of them are only involved in one business! Oh, to my English friends, “Tan Sri” is another title, that can only be bestowed by the King and not the nine Sultans. It would be in between a “Sir” and a “Lord”, so you can call it “Sod” as in “sod off!” Since I do have a few friends with “Tan Sri” titles, I will not be including them in my mailing list, this time.

 

I have checked and checked, but I cannot find a national rail company being owned by private individuals! Maybe my research has not gone far enough, especially with the lack of sleep and golf!

 

So, to the good Tan Sri, “The way by which you may get money almost without exception leads downward” – Henry David Thoreau, and “conscientia mille testes”.

 

On to another Tan Sri, this one was ousted from his CEO post of one of the largest (if not the largest) state government investment company.

 

It looks like the former CEO and President of Johor Corp is not going to just retire and keep quite. Now he is saying that “outside forces could lead to potential increase in debts of the corporation”, NST, 19th December 2011. “This Superman’s “sleight of hand” is usurping JCorp’s management and influencing the business decisions….”. Wow, we have superman now in the country? Definitely not Christopher Reed, as he is dead! So the new management of JCorp must be so weak, that a superman can overpower them! I hope the superman is not Empress Dowager, in disguise! Now, seeing Christopher Reed wearing his underwear on the outside is bad enough! So please, spare us the ugly image! Yuck!!!!! A superwoman, with red cape, underwear on the outside and carrying Birkin bags!!! Argggg, I am definitely migrating! Please Britain, accept my political asylum application!

 

Now Johor Corp has RM3.6 billion of debts, in the form of bonds, which are due in July 2012!  Now, how on earth does one pay that? I am not a financial genius, but having spent 16 years in the capital market previously and a short stint with an investment bank, I don’t think any investment banker can come up with a scheme other than a scheme involving the selling of assets! Now, most of the land in Johor was sold to Syed Mokhtar, who then sold them to Iskandar, who then tried to sell them to Singapore and the Arabs! The Arabs are not buying. Singapore might be interested in annexing Johor as part of the country! So they won’t pay!

 

So it’s back to the most prized assets of Johor Corp, KFC and Kulim! Which is what they are trying to do. Surprising? Hardly!! Now, I supposed the “superman” theory is correct. Only superman can eat that many fried chicken!!

 

Corporate Malaysia is certainly interesting, isn’t it? This is the only country in the world that the government owns businesses in almost every business sector! So if you think about it, not only there are 1.3 million civil servants, there are probably the same number of people employed by these government owned companies, which would make the Malaysian government the biggest employer in the world! Another one for the Guinness Book of Records!! We already have the highest twin-towers, the tallest flag pole, the most number of “satays” grilled at the same time, and what else??? Oh, we have the most powerful first lady in the world!

 

This remind me of the quote about Hillary Clinton, “CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.” By no other than my favourite talk show host Jay Leno.

 

Which brings me to the headline in the Sunday Star, “Eye on spouses”, where it said “Infidelity may be bad for a marriage, but it’s good business for local private investigators who report an increasing number of suspicious spouses among their clients”. But for the sake of my female friends, I am not going to go into that. Suffice to say that maybe I should just go into PI business, since I love gadgets, and these guys in the business use all sorts of gadgets.

 

Avoir une bonne semaine!

 

Now everyone can fly, except to London, Paris, Mumbai, Delhi – 21st December 2011

 

“You haven't seen a tree until you've seen its shadow from the sky.”  - Amelia Earhart

 

Yes, a lot of people love to fly. In my case I want to learn how to fly, but unfortunately don’t have the time for it. That’s what happen when you don’t have a job, you don’t have time for leisure!

Ok la, I am disorganised. It’s not easy running your own business, ok! No secretaries, no driver, no big office, everything you have to do yourself!

 

What? You think this e-mail is being typed by my secretary, like some CEOs?

 

Anyway, back to flying, I have been receiving e-mails asking me about the articles in the papers saying Airasia-X is scrapping four routes. I am not in Airasia-X (either as an employee or shareholder of Airasia, the parent company), and I don’t have any spy (ooops) in Airasia-X, so I don’t know anything more than what I have read.

 

But I find it very surprising that the London route is losing money. Come on! Even MAS is making money on the London route. In fact it is the most profitable route for MAS!! Why? A lot of Bumiputras have houses in London!! They fly in and out like they are going to work! Now, England is also my spiritual home, but sadly I don’t have enough money to buy a house there.

 

So how is it that the airline that has just reported a third quarter losses of US$ 149.9 million can make money on the London route, yet Airasia-X which is owned by the Muhibbah twin genius of Kamaruddin Meranun and Tony Fernandez is losing money on the London route? Strange? By the way, to my English friends “muhibbah” is derived from an Arabic word “habibba” meaning 'love' In English, it means 'goodwill'. In the Malaysian concept “muhibbah” means respect and tolerance of each other's customs, tradition, way of life, religion and opinions. Sharing each other's joy and sorrow. Standing by each other during hard times and enjoying the good times together. This is what the new generation are being taught. My generation and older generations already practiced it previously (with the emphasis on “previously”). Now it need to be taught!!

 

Back to Airasia-X, if you ask me, that’s what happen when you employ a young Bumiputra punk (with American accent, and degree from Stanford University of the USA), to run the company! Very smart to enter Ivy League universities, but know nuts about business!!! Hello, you don’t hire ex-consultants to run businesses. They only know theories!!! I am a CONsultant, now, with previous corporate and business experience! So I know how to tell you that you are stupid, and then make you pay me money for calling you stupid!

 

And this is what’s happening to corporate Malaysia! Just because they are young, can speak English, with either a British or American accent, and can present Powerpoint presentations like “snake-oil salesmen”, employ them!!!

 

For the information of these guys, anyone who walked into a meeting with the late Steve Jobs, and brought in a Powerpoint presentation, Steve Jobs will throw him out of the room. His reasoning? If you can’t present your ideas on a white board and have to rely on Powerpoint (which may have been prepared by someone else), you are just not good enough to present to him! I would not re-print what he would called these Powerpoint totting guys!

 

A lot of Malaysians blamed the likes of Halim Saad, Wan Azmi, Tajuddin Ramli and the rest of the Bumiputra cronies that almost bankrupted the country. But whatever they did (and they got some form of punishment), they were “ENTREPRENEURS”! They know how to run businesses. Some were as good as the Chinamen! The problem was Mahathir gave them a free hand, and greed got to them. Not because they were idiots! If only Mahathir had controlled them, those companies that they ran would not end up like they did!

 

They don’t have degrees from Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, Yale, Stanford or MIT! They just got business sense!

 

I am not defending them (in fact they deserved to be punished!), but I had seen how some of them worked. Business geniuses!!! If they are lousy businessmen, why is that they are making money in god-forsaken places outside the country now, where they don’t have the Prime Minister protecting them? Because they are “ENTREPRENEURS”! Sure, they probably need to pay off some Russian mafias just to do business in those countries, but you do what you have to do! Just like Kamaruddin Meranun, and Tony Fernandez! I am sorry to deflate the ego of some of my Indian friends, but Kamaruddin Meranun is the real brain behind Airasia, not Tony Fernandez!

 

That’s what’s lacking in this country now, lack of real Bumiputra “ENTREPRENEURS”, and the best part is the government investment arm is run by someone who has never really run a business! I am talking about real business, ok!!! Like my friend, Ah Tong!

 

I have just spent a few days at MARA and I was really surprised. Not that Bumiputras cannot be good businessmen, but the system makes them corrupt! If you keep giving them fish, instead of a fishing rod, what do you expect them to do? EAT la, instead of FISHING!!! Why do you want to go fishing when truckloads of fish are being delivered to your house every day? Duh!!!

 

On another issue, the “Fatwa panel to discuss the use of indelible ink”, the NST, 21st December 2011.

 

What???? You mean they don’t know whether indelible ink is “halal” (kosher in Islam), or “haram” (forbidden in Islam). Holly mama!! No wonder the Muslims in this country are so screwed up!!! We need a panel of religious scholars to determine whether ink (to be used for the general election) is halal or haram!!! Can you guys please give some religious views on the hypertension and diabetes and allergy pills that I am taking. They are made by American companies. They don’t have an Islamic Council in America that verifies the pills in America! Oh shit, I am going to hell!!!

 

The indelible ink is used in Iraq, Afghanistan and other Islamic countries (with corrupt leaders!)! Same like Malaysia la!!! Duh!!! Eat my golf balls!!!

 

Talking about Bumiputra “entrepreneur”, the one that is going to buy the national rail company, may get more jobs from the government, according to analysts! Buy MMC Corp!!! (Oops, sorry Securities Commission!)

 

“GREED IS NOT ONLY GOOD, IT IS LEGAL NOW” – Gordon Gekko

 

And to the political arena, “Hassan: PAS may leave pact soon”, NST, 21st December 2011.

 

Ha Ha Ha, and people want me to vote for the opposition!!!

 

What a joke!!!

 

Why did PAS join the opposition pact then? Don’t answer that!!!

 

Islam is not incompatible with politics, but in Malaysia it is!!!! After 54 years of Independence, now only people know that??? Duh!!!

 

Malaysia is a multi-racial, multi-religious, and multi-cultural country!!!! Why on earth did the Tourism Ministry has the “Truly Asia” tag line??? Because we have the Malays (who used to rule this part of the world), the Chinese (who come from the biggest country on earth), and Indians (the second largest country in the world) and the “Yang Lain-Lain” (Others) as the citizens of the country! The constitution recognizes Islam as the official religion but other religions are free to be practiced! Still don’t understand??? Every festivals are celebrated in this country. Just go to the malls! Now we have some of the biggest Christmas trees in every mall!

 

"It's just like when you've got some coffee that's too black, which means it's too strong. What do you do? You integrate it with cream, you make it weak. But if you pour too much cream in it, you won't even know you ever had coffee. It used to be hot, it becomes cool. It used to be strong, it becomes weak. It used to wake you up, now it puts you to sleep." – Malcolm X

 

"Though it is very important for man as an individual that his religion should be true, that is not the case for society. Society has nothing to fear or hope from another life; what is most important for it is not that all citizens profess the true religion but that they should profess religion." – Alexis de Tocqueville

 

Candor dat viribus alas – 22nd December 2011

 

I thought today I will be having a good rest at the office (KLGCC), surfing porn (oops) and having my teh ais! Then I opened the Star. Damned! There’s so many things to write!

 

There goes my work! Eh, you got work meh? I hear one of my old friends saying! Yes, I do have work!! What, just because I sit at the club most days, I don’t have work!!! I am an entrepreneur! We work from everywhere! Even in our sleep!

 

Anyway, the front page headline in the Star screamed “Stop the outflow”. What? Our flood is now flowing into Thailand, or Singapore?

 

Nope. They are talking about the huge illicit (illicit ok, not illegal!) outflow of money, reportedly to be US$338 billion between 2000 and 2010, according to the US-based watchdog group Global Financial Integrity (GFI), the watchdog that probably would not be able to pin point on the map where Malaysia is. According to GFI, Malaysia is the fourth highest among developing nations!

 

Wow, Malaysians have that much money meh?

 

So a Task Force has been set up, with representatives from the Central Bank, Attorney-General’s Office and the Inland Revenue Board, being pulled in to catch these “outflowers”. “Outflowers”, that’s a nice word! Ok, Oxford Dictionary, I am claiming the rights to the word!

 

Aiyo, what’s so difficult about catching them? You only need to do two things. First, go to Singapore, and cut a deal with the Monetary Authority of Singapore. Ask them for the list of all private banking accounts of Malaysians. Then investigate these guys or ladies. If they are convicted, MAS gets 10 per cent of the money parked in Singapore. Two, go to London, drive around for one week, trail all the Malaysians that you see and find out where they live. When they come back to Malaysia, stop them at the airport, interrogate them (use MACC, that will frighten the shit out of them!). Easy what??? Duh!!! Of course you cannot interrogate Empress Dowager la! But if you put one or two of these guys in jail, no one will ever do it again.

 

Now, talking about investigation and interrogation, I was called in this week by the Securities Commission as a witness in a case that they have been investigating for two years. It is about insider trading. Now we all know that insider traders never get caught. In the 14 years that the SC has been in existence, how many have been convicted? Two!! And the guys that got convicted, they pay the measly fine of half a million, which is small change for them! In the more than 100 years that the New York Stock Exchange has been in existence, how many cases have gone to court? You can count them with your fingers!

 

Now, this case has been investigated for two years, and no one has been caught, and now they need an expert like me to be a witness. This case is more difficult than investigating the husband of the SC Chairman! How long did they investigate that case? Two weeks, and no one was brought to book! What do you expect? Duh!!!

 

I pity the sweet young thing that had to question me. First I said to her, I have not been in this building for 6 years. The last time I was here was to say goodbye to the former Chairman and Senior Director because I was leaving the industry. Of course she had already known who I am, but she did not know that I know all the big shots there and they know me too! But before that, I was taken to a room for a “body check”. The security guard apologized profusely for having to do it, and he forgot my bag! I had to tell him to check my bag! What did they expect? Me, carrying C4 in my bag? Hello, that’s carried by the guards of Empress Dowager! I don’t have access to C4!

 

I pity the sweet young lady that is tasked with investigating the case. Now , she has to continue for 7 years (statute of limitation, mah!), or shorter if she can catch someone. Chances are, this will not happen! Now the lady is very smart, young and probably ambitious too. After 7 years, if she does not get disillusioned, she is either naďve or she would have visited her psychiatrist many times. What a waste of talent!!!

 

What has the SC really done for the industry? First when they were set up 17 years ago, they got a big grant from the government. Then they took a big chunk of money from the Kuala Lumpur Stock Exchange and the stockbrokers. Then when KLSE was demutualized, they received 150 million shares from Bursa Malaysia, valued at RM450 million. Those shares were valued at more than RM2 billion at one time, and now worth more than RM1 billion! How much have they disbursed (as the shares are parked at the Capital Market Development Fund)? No one knows! When I was still at the exchange I wanted RM10 million to build a bond trading system. They made me sweat like crazy, and I got RM5 million. It’s not even their money!!!

 

And here we are, talking about transparency, corporate governance and whatever else!

 

Talking about corporate governance, a couple of months ago, I saw an ad by the Malaysian Alliance of Corporate Directors looking for people to become members. So I went to their website and I registered my interest. Within a day, I received an e-mail from the COO, and I was asked to pay RM1,500 to become a member. So I ignored it. So he called! He told me that for the membership fee, I will be given a three day seminar on how to be a company director.

 

What!!! I am a board member of 2 companies now, and one of them I am apparently the chairman too! I have been board members of many companies over the years. When I was in the Exchange, I was a member of the CDS Advisory Council. How did I get that? By appointment of the Prime Minister! I was a member of the Labuan Financial Exchange Committee (the board that runs the Exchange). How did I get that? By appointment of the Prime Minister! I was a member of the Securities Commission Licensing and Examination Advisory Panel. How did I get that? Appointment by the SC’s Board of Commissioner! And they want me to pay them RM1,500 and then attend a free seminar on how to become a board member??? PUHLEEEEZE!!! Eat my golf balls! As one of my golfing buddy who is a Chairman of a PLC said to me, “They should pay you to be a member!”.

 

Anyway, enough of my failure to control my anger! Back to the headlines!

 

I know a lot of you have stopped reading the newspapers, and only believe what are in the blogs! Read the papers! Not everything in the paper is government propaganda, and not everything on the blogs are gospel truth (except mine, he he. Damned I am not a blogger!!!). But Malaysians are a gullible lot! And disillusioned, but they don’t do anything about it. Do you know what started the Arab Spring. A man committing self-immolation! To the philistine amongst you, self-immolation means burning oneself to death! For your information, 6 Tibetans have died this year so far through self-immolation! Anyone has done that in Malaysia??? Since so many talked about being unhappy with the country, why don’t you go Merdeka Square, sit in the middle and burn yourself! I will call CNN, BBC, Fox, and Al-Jazeera for you. They will train their cameras on you while you scream in pain, dying slowly! Talk big!!!!

 

Some of my friends said that I am being more and more sceptical! I am not a sceptic! I am a pragmatist! I believe in what is right, but I won’t burn myself to death to prove that I am right!

 

In the meantime, the PM has denied receiving a resignation letter from the “Cow Minister”. Hello, I know the Cow Minister is a very good friend of Empress Dowager! But show some balls la (not just on the golf course), and sack the bitch!

 

And the Deputy Finance Minister has refuted allegations that he took bribes! Tsk, tsk, tsk!

 

On to the opposition parties, “Hassan waging war on PAS, says Mahfuz”, “Nasha: I’m with PAS, never UMNO”, “Hassan: PAS has lost sight of the Malays”, and “DAP mum on PAS debacle”. People are disillusioned and looking at the Opposition Parties, and what do the opposition do?  Kill each other!!! Great!!! Who is laughing the loudest now? The ruling parties!!! We all know that the ruling party has messed up (that’s being very kind!), now the opposition too!!!

 

“Much indeed to be regretted, party disputes are now carried to such a length, and truth is so enveloped in mist and false representation, that it is extremely difficult to know through what channel to seek it. This difficulty to one, who is of no party, and whose sole wish is to pursue with undeviating steps a path which would lead this country to respectability, wealth, and happiness, is exceedingly to be lamented. But such, for wise purposes, it is presumed, is the turbulence of human passions in party disputes, when victory more than truth is the palm contended for.” – George Washington

 

Read my views in the “Politics, politics, bloody politics”, on my website.

 

On the corporate world, the central bank has launched the second Financial Sector Masterplan (FSMP). I am always interested in this though there is also another masterplan by the SC. But the SC one is always written by a bunch of consultants who know nuts about the industry!

 

By the way, do you guys know who the husband of the Governor is? I do (though he may have forgotten me), and if you see him on the street, you would not know that he is married to one of the most powerful women in the country, unlike the other powerful woman of the SC, whose husband is doing corporate deals everywhere! Now, when the Governor was asked to return to Malaysia and become the Governor, her husband resigned from the bank that he was working in, and has never accepted any board membership of any company! Now you want to talk about integrity, that is integrity!

 

“It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity.” -  Francis Bacon, Sr.

 

The Merlion cannot roar – 24th December 2011

I decided to pop over the causeway to visit our neighbour. Not that I have urgent business there, but since my airmiles were expiring, and if I did not utilized them, I would have forfeited them, there I was yesterday waking up at 5 am to catch the flight at 8 am to Singapore.

 

To be honest, I have never liked Singapore and Singaporeans. No doubt we can learn a lot from them when it comes to efficiency, but Singapore is a very boring city, and Singaporeans are people with absolutely no class! Haven’t you heard about Singaporeans driving their Mercedes S-Class and queuing at schools to apply for free books for their kids and the rich kid (who was undergoing national service) making his Filipino maid carry his haversack!

 

I find that really surprising. When I  was a “wee” boy, my family took me to Singapore for a shopping trip. It was during the Singapore general elections. One night I saw Lee Kuan Yew on TV, campaigning. Not only did he speak perfect Queen’s English, he also spoke in perfect Malay! I was really impressed! Now to me that’s class!

 

Now we all know how bad our politicians are when it comes to public speaking. Who can forget one retired minister with his “Kita melarang pemuda-pemudi dari mengisap dada” (We forbid our youth from sucking breasts), and “Saya menggalakkan anda menderma dara” (I encourage you to donate your virginity)! To my English friend, what the good minster wanted to say was “We forbid our youth from taking drugs”, and “I encourage you to donate blood”, as in Malay, drug is “dadah” (but he pronounced it “dada” and “dada” is breast), and blood is “darah” (but he pronounced it “dara” which is “virginity”).

 

We know that Singapore hates Malaysia too, which I can’t really fathom why! Other than the fact that Malaysia kicked Singapore out of Malaya 47 years ago, and we stopped providing them raw water. Hello, you are an island, surrounded by water. Drink that la!!! Salt water is good for you!!! Come on, you wanted cheap water, but at every opportunity you get, you belittle Malaysia. We know we are not anywhere near as efficient as you, but there’s no reason to be nasty. We are neighbours after all. A good neighbour don’t eat the other neighbour’s food and then continually insult him! I liken Singapore to the small kid at the playground who keep poking the big boy. Most of the time, the big boy just ignores it. But when the big boy turns around and smack the little boy, what did the small boy do? Run to mummy, and said the big boy is bullying him. And who is Singapore’s mummy? The great United States of America!!! No class!!!

 

I have not been to Singapore for more than 3 years, and this time I discovered something new about Singapore, which make me hate the place even more!

 

First, don’t ever use Google Map in Singapore. If you do, you will find that it will take you a good one hour to find a place that is located just 500 metres away. That’s how long it took me to find Starbucks, which was listed as being 450 metres from where I was standing. Not only will Google map send you round and round and round, finally when you reach the place, Goggle map will show that you are somewhere else!

 

Two, there is no such thing as free wi-fi in Singapore, though they say they do! A bunch of bollocks!!! Even if you do find a place that shows free wi-fi they will make you register and the registration can be as difficult as filing your tax returns in the USA! People always complain about the fact that Malaysia charges higher when it comes to internet access. But if you live in certain areas, you don’t need to pay a cent, other than paying for coffee! For instance, I live next to Plaza Damas in Sri Hartamas. In Damas, there are at least ten places that provide free wi-fi. You don’t even need to go inside the premises as many don’t even require a password! So I have sworn to myself that I will never complain about the internet charges in Malaysia!!! Especially when I am paying a bundle as I am connected to 5 different internet service providers!!!

 

Three, if you want to work at Starbucks in Singapore, make sure your laptop is fully charged, as there is not a single power point in all of the Starbucks in Singapore other the ones behind the counters. And don’t you dare use them, as the fat Singapore girl manning the counter will punch your lives out! First she looks at you when taking your orders as if you are about to steal the tasteless muffins, and then she dumped your change as if you are a beggar! Come on! For the amount that you charge for coffee (tea in my case, as I hate coffee), and muffins, you can’t even let you customers charge their laptops!!! No class!!!

 

Those days when I go to Singapore it was always on business, and I stayed in “5 Star” hotels, all with wi-fi. Now I am just a small businessman, and it was a day trip. There’s no way I am paying for wi-fi!

 

Now I know why the word “kiasu” is only meant for Singaporean!!

 

So I begged the nice lady manning the MAS counter to let me change my flight to an earlier one! Luckily they still have a few seats in business class. Hey, I am not travelling economy after what I had gone through. Any way, it’s free! And there I was at Changi airport (one of the few places in Singapore that I like), three hours before my flight time! Thank God, I had my tablet/laptop, which is still refusing to be a tablet! So, if anyone of you knows who runs Fujitsu in Malaysia, tell him or her, Fujitsu sucks! I can’t believe Fujitsu is from Japan!

 

And as usual, the flight was delayed!! What’s new MAS??? First we were told that the flight has been delayed by 30 minutes. When we finally boarded, we were told that the air traffic controller has just informed the pilot that there will be a 10 minutes further delay. Of course it was more than 10 minutes. Air traffic controllers don’t have watches! We left 1 hour and 10 minutes late!

 

To those who know anything about air traffic control system, if a plane arrived late, it cannot expect to take off again as per its earlier plan. First the plane got to be checked, refuelled and maybe cleaned. That would mean that the plane would have missed its original take-off slot. Now, when you miss your slot, you don’t get the next slot, but the next available slot, which could mean 30 minutes, one hour or even two hours! That depends on how busy the airport is. So, don’t blame the traffic controller when you arrived late in the first place! Duh! Eat my golf balls and my 60 degrees wedge too!

 

By the way, I would like to ask the CEO of MAS and the Deputy CEO (with the 1st Class Cambridge degree and Chartered Accountant of England and Wales), when did MAS replace the “Exit” on the their planes with “Eh-Zit”? Oh, dear, the FAA is not going to like that! How on earth am I going to get off the plane if there is no exit? Hmmm, I wonder whether I can squeeze through the tiny window?

 

And you guys remember that when you sit in business class, you get a cold towel when you board and then a hot towel just before you land? Well, no more hot towels!!! I would like to ask MAS how much are they saving by not giving the hot towels? I can hear the Deputy CEO in his Sloane Square accent going, “Old, chap, we are saving millions, as the towels are supplied by a very respectable Bumiputra company who only charges RM20 per towel.” Hmm, and my response would be, “Oi, Danny boy (with the emphasis on boy), the towel is not big enough to cover my d**k, and I can get them for 50 cent at the “pasar malam”.”

   

Hmm, God certainly has a funny way of teaching me that there’s no such thing as a free flight! God must be saying now, “Eat your own golf balls”. Sorry God!

 

Oh, well, Malaysians are notorious for never being on time anyway! For a person like me, who is probably one of the most punctual person in the world, it is a constant test! To my English friend who may be visiting Malaysia, when a Malaysian says he is going to meet you at 8 pm, that means he will meet you at 8.30 (if you are lucky!). He will blame the traffic jams. But what he really meant is that he left the office late!

 

So, back to good old Malaysia which someone likens to Myanmar (???), we see rubbish (I am talking about the politicians) everyday, but I’d still prefer to live here than in Singapore. Because I know that I will be treated like a second-class citizen. I was once interviewed for a senior post in Singapore, and I was competing with a bunch of Chinese Singaporeans who I clearly thought were a bunch of idiots. Of course I did not get the job. The nice HR Director had to tell me that though the Board of Directors thought I was the best candidate, they prefer a Chinese. I AM a Chinaman! Hah, I can hear some of my Chinese friends saying, now you know how we feel! Yes, I hear you brother. Sod off!!!

 

If you think the Chinese hate the Malays in Malaysia, it is worse in Singapore, which I truly don’t understand. The Malays are a minority, in fact in terms of percentage they are smaller than the Chinese in Malaysia. The Malays only make up less than 15% of the Singapore population! Maybe the Singapore Chinese think that the Malaysian Malays will come to the rescue of the Singapore Malays if anything happen to them. For the information of the Singapore Chinese, the Malaysian Malays don’t give a shit about the Singapore Malays!  Why? Because the Singapore Malays work a lot harder!

 

I wonder whether the guy who likens Malaysia to Myanmar would be willing to face the army with guns pointed at him (which, God forbid we will never end up with) like the many Buddhist monks in Yangoon (a few years ago), or perform self-immolation (like the 6 Tibetan monks in Tibet this year so far)? Talk big!!!!

 

Cakap tak da serupa bikin!!! I am sorry, my dear English friends, I don’t know how to translate that, other than “one is not walking the talk”.

 

I don’t agree with the government and I hate them , and I have NEVER voted for them, but I don’t make stupid comparison!

 

To my English friends, Malaysians are like that! They like to say that Malaysia is worse than Libya, Myanmar, Syria, and wherever dictators reign! In fact we are ruled by dictators, and that we are severely repressed! And then you see all these people living in big bungalows, driving big cars, send their children overseas to study! Yet, I don’t see them migrating and giving up their Malaysian citizenships! Though many have homes in London and Australia, so much so that London and Perth are considered Malaysian cities, but they will never give up their Malaysian citizenships!! Mahathir was a dictator!!! But ask every Chinese businessman, and practically everyone will say that they never had it so good as when Mahathir was PM! I am not a fan of Mahathir, ok!!!

 

And now Najib is useless and don’t know how to run the country. Oi, when are you guys ever going to get it?? Najib does not run the country, the Empress Dowager does!!

 

When I was on the plane, after reading all the bloody papers, I decided to read the MAS in-flight magazine, and there was an article about a nice British lady who has been living on an island off Johor for the last twenty years. She would not live anywhere else in the world but Malaysia! Hmmm, we all talk about migrating (even me, though I know I will never leave) if the BN wins the next general elections. I would like to see how many will give up their citizenships if the BN wins again!! Talk big!!!

 

By the way does anyone know that Malaysia has the most political parties in the world?

 

Just today we hear that the former Chief Minister of Selangor jailed 12 months (and he deserves much more than that!). Not a word from the opposition parties. Now, imagine if the DAP representative from Taiping is charged in court for giving contracts to his wife’s company when he was in charge of local government? What would happen? Every blog, every papers owned by the opposition parties will be accusing the police, the courts, the government for victimising the DAP!!! The judiciary is controlled by the government, the will say!!!They will even accuse the tea lady working in the local council for spying on the DAP rep! No F*****G principle!!! Just like UMNO! Let’s not talk about PKR and PAS! These guys are beyond redemption!

 

“If a political party does not have its foundation in the determination to advance a cause that is right and that is moral, then it is not a political party; it is merely a conspiracy to seize power.” - DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER

 

And everybody thinks Mat Bontot is innocent! Why don’t you ask the CIA! And, oh, by the way, the CIA does have a man in the American Embassy in Kuala Lumpur, though his card say managing director of something!

 

I have met the man many times when I was in the capital market, and I know some of his closest friends. Of course they are no longer his friends, after discovering the truth! I was never impressed with the guy. Charming but NO SUBSTANCE!!! And if I ever rule this country (by some very, very, very, serious and unimaginable  fluke!), I will put him in jail for eternity!!! A bloody embarrassment to true Muslims! Of course THAT party that claims to represent Muslims is now supporting him! What do you expect? They are politicians!!!

 

And my sincere apology to Monsieur Rene Artois, “I shall zay diz one more time”, politicians have no principle!!!

 

And a Datuk has been arrested for trying to bribe the police not to take action against the “Cow Family”! Hmmm, how come the opposition is very quiet on this? Maybe each one of the member of the opposition parties has been given a free cow each or a discount card to the Cow family’s steak house? No wonder I see a lot of cows near Bukit Segambut! Doesn’t Mat Bontot live there after being chased out of the posh Damansara Heights area by his neighbours?

 

And finally on the corporate front, it looks like the Naza boys have decided to join the fray in the fight for Proton. Hmmm, I don’t have much to say, except to tell the boys to read the article in the Edge. I like what their father, the late Tan Sri said, “Well, you know Proton, if we get it, we get it. If not it is just business”. Unfortunately, it is not just business! It is also about who can buy more Birkin bags for the Empress Dowager. So if you want to win, go shopping now! Birkin is having an on-line sale!

 

So, to my Christian friends, Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! To my English friends, what on earth are you doing shivering in the cold winter in Olde England? Come to hot and sunny and rainy and then sunny again and then rainy again Malaysia. Where on earth are you going to find a place where you get hot blistering sun, and then thunderstorms and then hot blistering sun within the space of 2 hours?

 

The Pink Hummer – 24th December 2011

 

Nope, the pink hummer is not the sequel to the Pink Panther movie, or the gigantic car that is driven by the pink panther.

 

But there is a Hummer in Malaysia that is pink in colour and driven by a sexy model by the name of Leng Yein, a former Miss Pahang and a self-confessed “businesswoman”.

 

Now I am sure feminists like Gloria Steinheim and Geraldine Ferraro will be rolling their eyes if they meet this thin and voluptuous lady, but I find it amusing that this young lady is such a creative businesswoman, albeit one that uses her sexuality to make money!

 

Not only is she now a Facebook sensation with her pink Hummer that is also available to anyone who wants to advertise on, she “recently reached a new height in her modelling career by being the first Malaysian car queen to be featured at the recent Specialty Equipment Market Association (SEMA) autoshow in Las Vegas and also Autocon USA in Los Angeles” – Sundar Star, 25th December 2011.

 

Now SEMA is BIGGGG in the US car automotive industry. Though many women flaunt their oversized breasts at SEMA, you don’t get to be a model there unless you are either a famous female porn star, or you have something unique (three breasts maybe???). Even Hollywood hotties with voluptuous bodies don’t get an invite!  

 

She is not shy to admit that she’s had some help from the plastic surgeons, and said that “the surgery was not to enlarge her breasts but to make them more perky”. Hmmm, perky indeed!

 

I can hear my male friends going, “What’s her Facebook page ar?”. Too bad, she is happily married, to a businessman (as usual!). The businessman proposed to her on Sept 9, 2009 (09.09.09) and married her on October 10, 2010 (10.10.10)! I am not surprised she said yes!

 

It is amazing that no matter how far feminism has gone, sex still sells.

 

But what is interesting to me is that while she uses her sexuality, she is also using new technology to reach her “customers”.

 

Which brings me to how new technology is changing the way we live and how the young ones are learning today. The other day I was eating in Bangsar Village 2, and I can’t help but noticed that children were busy with their tablets, practically on every table! I even saw a sweet young girl (no more than ten and suffering from down syndrome) who screamed when her parents tried to take the tablet of her to make her eat her dinner! Despite being afflicted with such a terrible condition, the tablet is her most treasured friend!

 

Of course we won’t see children in the “kampongs” (villages) running around with tablets! Which brings me to the chasm that is going to grow between the city dwellers and the kampong dwellers! First the children have been kicked around by the government when it comes to the language of education, then the lack of access to modern technology! Sure they can go into town and get their parents who are farmers, fishermen and what nots to buy them tablets. After all, each house has satellite dish for ASTRO! But will that ever happen? Even if they do get a tablet, the medium of instructions/communications is English! What a real shame, isn’t it???

 

Remember my writing some time ago when I went to boarding school in a small town in Kedah? I encountered a bunch of kampong boys and girls who were brilliant in mathematics. And I thought the Malays were bad in mathematics!

 

We all know about the digital gap, which in today’s environment also means the economic gap.

 

“The gap in our economy is between what we have and what we think we ought to have - and that is a moral problem, not an economic one.” - Paul Heyne

 

Yes, it is a moral issue that our government should be thinking about! Not about how to win votes! Not about how to provide broadband to the villages and make money from them as well!!!

 

We are a country that is so proud of some of the technological advances that we have adopted in our daily lives. But are we making ourselves more advanced in our thinking and our moral?

 

Malaysia is one of the most active Facebook users. According to a study, Malaysian Facebook users have more friends than those from other countries. Malaysia has the highest bandwidth for youtube! There are youtube clips by Malaysians on almost every topic!

 

But sadly technology has not made us better! It has made us more diverse in our morality and technology has been used to instil hate amongst us!

 

“Hatred strikes me as one of the few signs of life remaining in the world. This is another thing about the world which is upsidedown: all the friendly and likable people seem dead to me; only the haters seem alive.” - Walker Percy

 

“People will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you.” - Unknown author

 

“If you don't like me remember it's mind over matter; I don't mind and you don't matter.” - Unknown author

 

So in the spirit of Christmas, let us all stop this nonsense and start being a human being. We are all the same, albeit with different race and religion. But we are all human beings, with brains! God did not give us brains to kill each other!

 

amor vincit omnia – Love conquers all

 

www.fathi-ridzuan.com

 

Ab imo pectore!

 

America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy – 25th December 2011

The above is a quote from John Updike. Who???

 

He was an American novelist, poet, short story writer, art critic, and literary critic.

 

Obviously he has never been to Malaysia, because actually there is more conspiracy theories in Malaysia than anywhere else in the world. And what is even more surprising is that the most educated of people in Malaysia are the ones that believe the conspiracies the most!

 

So when I saw an e-mail circulating in the internet screaming with “The EPF is being looted” in the subject column, I had to read it. But unlike most people, I did my checking and today I saw an article in the Edge (for the week of December 26, 2011 – January 1, 2012) written by one Dr Lim Ewe Ghee, a former senior economist at the International Monetary Fund. He was also at Yale University and University of California. The good doctor just returned to Penang after 23 years.

 

Basically what the article did is to refute every argument put forth by the writer of that e-mail, and clearly showed that the writer like many educated Malaysians, lack the brain cells to think! Like most educated Malaysian, he is a moron!

 

And like that moron, most educated Malaysian would now be accusing the good doctor of being paid by the government!

 

No wonder Malaysia has a bunch of jokers running the country, and a bunch of jokers that call themselves the opposition parties!! Because we have a bunch of jokers voting for them, both the government and the opposition!

 

Everything is a conspiracy. From the death of the politicians aide to Mat Bontot. Obviously Malaysians do not know what extreme stress can do to a person. I have gone through it and I know what it feels like! Death is the only salvation!!!

 

As for Mat Bontot, of course Mahathir was trying to get rid of his deputy who is getting too strong for him! Mat Bontot strong??? That must be the biggest overstatement of all time!! No politician in this country has been as strong as Mahathir, and I don’t think there will ever be. The CIA started the whole thing, and that is NOT A CONSPIRACY! To those who do not know, the CIA and the Malaysian Police have very close cooperation, despite the fact that America use to berate the country and in particular Mahathir! Do you guys know who is Mahathir’s closest friend in the USA. A Jewish man who once owned the largest insurance company in the world! Now, why would a man who is accused of being an anti-Semite (though he isn’t, but he is anti-Zionist just like me) when he would never fail to have dinner with his Jewish friend whenever he is in New York (in the man’s super, super, expensive apartment)?

 

To the philistine amongst you, a Semite is the descendent of the Prophet Abraham (which consists of 12 tribes), and more known as Jews. A Zionist is the bigot that runs the state of Israel. What’s the difference?? The people who runs Israel are not real Jews (though the Americans believe this is a conspiracy theory!). They are what is called the 13th tribe, the descendent of the Khazars, also known as Ashkenazi Jews. They were actually a semi-nomadic tribe, of Turkic (not Turkish) ancestry. They adopted the Jewish faith to avoid going to war with their neighbours. The person who wrote about all this was found dead with his wife, apparently having committed “suicide”! A man who  in 1968, was awarded the prestigious Sonning Prize "for outstanding contribution to European culture" and, in 1972, made a Commander of the Order of the British Empire. Yet the book that he wrote about the history of the Ashkenazi Jews are hardly discussed by Western media, despite it being the most controversial of his work! Now that is a conspiracy!!!!

 

So I find it really funny when talking to these supposedly intelligent and educated friends, and then suddenly everything turns into a conspiracy! Hmmm, these are not people who come from the kampongs (villages). These are people who have been at the top of the corporate world! What this shows is how shallow they are, and how moronic our society has become! And it really says something about these people! Most of the time, I just say it is possible (whatever conspiracy theories that they are espousing), but in my mind I am laughing at them! Ahh, what a waste of brain!!! Sometimes I feel like asking them how did they ended up being in the top echelon of the corporate world with such shallow thinking!!!

 

Like I have said many times, I am not a fan of Mahathir, the politician. He is Machiavellian at best! But the guy’s got brain! That’s why he can run this country, unlike his narcoleptic successor! But then any idiot can run a country of idiots! In the world of the blinds, the one-eyed man is king!!! Just like the great US of A! Imagine, you have to be American-born to be president, irrespective of whether you can speak English (Bush) or not! And then when you don’t like the president because he is Black, you claim he was not born in America and that he is  Muslim spy! As long as you have enough money to run a super campaign and the corporations are behind you, you are on your way to be a president, irrespective of how racist you are! Malaysia will be like that soon, believe me! Why do you think the Empress Dowager is amassing her wealth? To be buried with her when she dies? Duh!!!

 

Despite the doom and gloom that everybody is talking about, two articles touched my heart this week in the New Sunday Times, 25th December 2011. One about a Malay boy, without arms and slightly bended legs who scored 9 As in the recent PMR examination. His parting words are very inspiring, “But, what is more important is that I always believe in putting first the “able” in disabled, and I have faith that there is good reason or hikmah in Allah’s creation. For me, life is not that hard if we know how to cope with it.”

 

This boy is 15, from a small town in Kedah, and probably knows nuts about the political situations in this country. But if you ask me, he is better than most of the so-called educated bourgeois in this country!

 

And I wonder whether the “Cow Minister” who is in charge of the Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development knows about this boy? Probably not! Lucky this boy has very loving parents and siblings who have done everything they can to make his life better by giving him a good education!

 

The other article that touched me is about a nice Chinese lady who gave up her managing directorship of a multi-national company some years ago to set up The Truly Loving Company (TLC). Despite losing her husband to a heart attack in 1999, she brought up two children while being a managing director. The moment the children qualified as professionals, she made the decision to step down as managing director and pursue her dreams of giving back to the community.

 

These two Malaysians (of different races) should be made examples to all Malaysians, one already giving back to the community and one that I am sure will grow up to be a successful person (despite his disability).

 

Malaysia is a country full of idiots (and I am not talking just about the politicians).

 

“Society is one vast conspiracy for carving one into the kind of statue it likes, and then placing it in the most convenient niche it has” -  Randolph Bourne

 

“Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.” - Frederick Douglass

 

“Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

So if you want to change this country, don’t just change the people who rule this country, but change yourselves too! Because if you don’t, the country will continue to be run by idiots!

 

I chose to change myself because it dawned on me that I was nothing but an arrogant SOB that looked down on everyone that was inferior to me intellectually and my rise in the corporate world was due to luck and the ruthless streak in me. I was called a mercenary once and that was an understatement. I was not thankful to God for giving me the riches that I had, and he certainly punished me the last two years. I have many things to thank God. I am still alive, I have all my facilities working, I still have a roof over my head (though I don’t own it), and most importantly I have people that care about me. I don’t have much money now, but money can be made.

 

I am thankful, so be thankful before everything is taken away from you.

 

“Stop thinking about the past, and don’t worry too much about what’s going to happen in the future. Your presence is a present, so live for today, and appreciate everyone and everything you have. Stop thinking about what you don’t have, what you wish you had, who walked out of your life, and whatever else that falls in that category. Think about what you have, who you have in your life, and how fortunate you are.” -  Junethea Crystal Centeno

 

www.fathi-ridzuan.com

 

 

Ab imo pectore!

 

quid sit futurum cras, fuge quaerere – 27th December 2011

 

“Do not ask what tomorrow brings” (Horace) for ““Today's greatest labour-saving device is tomorrow.” (Woodrow T. Wilson).

 

In a few days’ time, we will leave another year behind us, a year that many will consider their “annus horribilis”! It certainly was for me!

 

We will usher in 2012 anno domini (in the year of the Lord) and soon after, the Year of the Dragon  (or “long” in Chinese and I am a Wood Dragon), the fifth in the Chinese zodiac. As many may not realized, the dragon is the only mythical creature in the Chinese zodiac, the others being, rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, snake, horse, goat, monkey, rooster, dog, and pig. No cat??? Yup, apparently according to legends, the cat was the only one who refused to come when the animals were called by the gods, thus the dragon replacing the cat in the zodiac. THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY THEORY!

 

As many animal lovers would know, cats consider humans as their slaves, unlike dogs who see humans as their masters. While a dog would love his master unconditionally, a cat will only stick around if the master continues feeding him! That’s why a “cat person” can never be a “dog person” and vice versa! While a “dog person” will bark (no pun intended) orders at his dog, a “cat person” will pamper the cat like his own child! Unless the “dog person” happens to be Paris Hilton, who will dress her dog in Gucci!

 

And apparently cats and dogs have no problem living with each other once the dog knows who is the master (i.e. the cat, whose sharp claws will ensure that the dog will only attack the cat once). I was told by my doctor that her aunt’s dog would continue barking incessantly at night until the cat returns from his nightly round and they will sleep together in the dog house! At certain nights, the aunt would get very upset with the barking that she would go looking for the cat and when she finds him, will take him back and throw the cat into the dog house, which would horrify some passers-by!

 

Maybe our politicians can a lot from the odd couple!

 

While the year 2011 started with Estonia being the seventeenth country to adopt the Euro currency, the year also saw “spring” in the Arab world. A spring that lead to the downfall of the Egyptian president, and the brutal killing of the Libyan strongman (who has a penchant for busty Ukrainian nurses and Condoleeza Rice, the former State Secretary of the USA). Like in many Arab states, these personalities were at one time the allies of the United States. Even the Taliban in Afghanistan was created by the CIA during the Soviet occupation. Didn’t you guys see “Charlie Wilson’s War”, starring Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts, about the US Senator from Texas, Charlie Wilson who started the funding of the Mujahidin (who later became the Taliban) via the Pakistani government of General Zia ul Haq? In fact Congressman Wilson was very critical of the US invasion of Afghanistan, before his death in 2010.  Which just shows that America is the biggest hypocrite on earth!

 

And they wonder, “Why does the world hate us so much?”. Duh!!!! Eat my golf balls!

 

Well you can’t really blame the Americans, after all less than 10 per cent of the population has a passport, and out of that a very small number actually venture beyond Canada and Mexico! To most Americans, American is the world, and the world is America!

 

That’s what happen when you are so powerful and don’t need the rest of the world to be behind you!

 

“America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.” - Arnold Toynbee

 

“An asylum for the sane would be empty in America.” - George Bernard Shaw

 

“We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.” - John F. Kennedy

 

So, remember when I said that our police and CIA have been cooperating very closely for a very long time, whilst the government on each side continued berating each other (during Mahathir’s time)? The CIA has a large dossier on the politicians in this country, and sometimes that dossier reaches the Malaysian police. But most of the time, the dossier is only mentioned in whispered tones! Remember, when Al Gore insulted the Malaysian host when he walked out of the APEC Dinner many years ago in support of the “reformasi” movement? He was followed out by his British dog, the British High Commissioner! When he was shown the dossier on the leader of the “reformasi” movement, he never said a word again about it. Why? Because he was contesting  the presidency of the United States against George Bush Jr, and he did not want to look foolish for supporting a “sick” leader in Malaysia! Ahhh, Americans!!! Bloody hypocrites!! AND THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY!!!

 

"Hypocrisy is the most difficult and nerve-racking vice that any man can pursue; it needs an unceasing vigilance and a rare detachment of spirit. It cannot, like adultery or gluttony, be practiced at spare moments; it is a whole-time job." – W. Somerset Maugham

 

For the knowledge of Malaysians who has been subjected to the government’s drive to stop teaching in English, “Maugham” is pronounced “Mom” as in “Norm” and the “Edinburgh Circle” (no longer there) is pronounced “Eh-din-ber-rer” and not “Eh-din-berg”.

 

And while the singer Dione Warwick is pronounced “War-wick”, my alma mater, University of Warwick is pronounce “War-rick”! That’s English for you, confusing, isn’t it? No wonder the government doesn’t want the young ones to learn Science and Mathematics in English!!!

 

So what does 2012 and the Year of the Dragon hold for Malaysia? I honestly don’t know. Dragons are the free spirits of the Zodiac. The Dragon is the mightiest of the signs. Dragons symbolize such character traits as dominance and ambition. Dragons prefer to live by their own rules and if left on their own, are usually successful. They’re driven, unafraid of challenges, and willing to take risks. They’re passionate in all they do and they do things in grand fashion. Unfortunately, this passion and enthusiasm can leave Dragons feeling exhausted and interestingly, unfulfilled.

While Dragons frequently help others, rarely will they ask for help. Others are attracted to Dragons, especially their colourful personalities, but deep down, Dragons prefer to be alone. Perhaps that is because they’re most successful when working alone. Their preference to be alone can come across as arrogance or conceitedness, but these qualities aren’t applicable. Dragons have tempers that can flare fast!

 

Very much describes me (a dragon)!

 

So the future!!

 

Well, we all know that the general election is coming soon. I am betting that the general election will be held on 11 February 2012, 11.2.12? Why? Well, the PM likes the number 11, and 212 or  means “dragon” in Chinese! Not bad for a Malay, eh?? Told you I am a Chinaman!

 

Will the BN win again? Very likely, but with the most slim margin. The BN don’t need the Chinese votes, they only need the Malay votes and the Indian votes. The Malays (especially the ones in the kampongs) have been frightened “shitless” by the government and Perkasa (and to some extend PAS) and the Indian has no one else to vote for! Samy Velu is gone and forgotten!

 

As to the man on the street, I think life is not going to get any easier. The economy will very much hinge on the European economy, which is still grappling with the European crisis, and the US is not going to go back to its glory days anytime soon!

 

China has still a long way before it can become the real economic superpower. Whatever Karl Marx said, communism just doesn’t work, and capitalistic communism just doesn’t exist!

 

As for technology, more and more gadgets will dazzle the world. But iPhone 5 will be the last meaningful product coming out of Apple. Apple just will not be Apple without Steve Jobs. And Apple will just be like any other giant IT companies in the US, companies who are only interested in making the most money out of you.

 

Android-based phones will start their domination of the smartphones market with the introduction of the Android 4, codenamed Ice-Cream, the new operating system that will be much better than the Apple iOS, but will be just as unstable as Windows Phone 7, codenamed Mango. What is it with OS designers and food??

 

As for local government, they are going to be as stupid as ever like the Subang Jaya Municipal Council (MPSJ), who has announced that they will be charging highway concessionaires RM1,000 license fee for each toll booth. My suggestion to the highway operators, just demolish all the toll booths except one on each highway. And when the jam at the Sunway Toll reached Seremban (70 km long), just ask the commuters to complain to MPSJ.

 

“The true art of government consists in not governing too much.” - Jonathan Shipley

 

"A somewhat unorthodox procedure means The act of a gibbering idiot." – From an episode of “Yes, Minister”

 

In the corporate sector, Proton will be sold to DRB-Hicom. Besides Proton, Syed Mokhtar’s business empire will also include the National Rail Company, the airports, and all companies currently owned by Khazanah, thus making him the richest man in Malaysia, and possibly South East Asia!

 

So to everyone, Have a Great 2012!

 

 

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