Collections of E-mail Blasts (Latest at the bottom)

3rd December 2011 – 15th December 2011

3rd December 2011   Service d'entretien

It’s time for French lesson, since you have had too much of Latin recently.


Most would probably have guessed what the above means, or at least half of it. The full phrase has nothing to do with services one might get in Pigalle Palace in Paris. Where? That’s the “red light” district of Paris, and don’t pretend you don’t know la!! And don’t ask how I know. I know everything! I am a “walking google”, ok!!!


The phrase basically means, maintenance service.


How often do we complain in this country about badly maintained services? Too often if you ask me.


What is most beguiling is the fact that we have some of the best system in the world, or have implemented some of the best system in the world. But when it comes to maintenance, in most instances the very same people who implemented these system seem to think that these system are self-maintaining! Where got such thing, la?? Idiots!!! Eat my golf balls!!!


Do you know that the Malaysian passport is the most advanced in the world, that most airports in the world don’t even have the equipment that can read the electronic passport! And the new one is practically tamper proof! And who has endorsed the system? Apparently the Pentagon, and the USA have decided to use the same system for American passports. And our new Identification Card, is also supposedly tamper proof. And it can do a lot of things beside identifying us as Malaysians.


So what am I complaining about?


Just going to give one simple example. The management of my service apartment has decided to change the parking system, which is not surprising since it seems to break down on a daily basis. Good thing the Nepalese guards already know my car and face, otherwise I will have problems getting in and out.


So when the system keeps breaking down, what do the management do? In typical Malaysian fashion, get a new system, so that someone can earn some “kick-backs” from the new supplier. So you have a new and advanced system, and what happened? After less than a week, the card issuing system breaks down!!! Less than a week!!!


Back to the IC, we all know that the chip in the IC can store a lot of information. In fact when it was first mooted many years ago, it was also to be used for driving licence, medical records and even passport details (so that you can just swipe your IC at Immigration counters, instead of putting your passports in the passport machines).


Yet, I have not included my driving licence in the IC, nor any medical records. Why? Well, in the case of the driving licence, we all know that if we are stopped by the police and they want to check our driving licences, they don’t have the readers to verify whether our ICs contain our driving licence details! The damned reader is so small, and so cheap, yet almost all policemen don’t have it! The guns they carry are a lot bigger and heavier!! What gives???


And as for medical records, has anyone ever gone to a clinic and able to just give your IC to the doctors to check your medical records? I am quite sure, no!


The other day, one of my semi-retired golfing buddy (who is also my ayam, he he!) showed me a credit card sized USB card (with the thickness of about 2 credit cards) that stores medical records including CT scan 3-D images. Nothing new about the USB card, I have one myself (without the medical records, of course). The system is from Australia and my friend is trying to introduce the system to the many private hospitals here. And I thought to myself, what’s the big deal? The IC is supposed to be able to do that! Of course you can’t plonk your IC into the USB port, but you can connect the IC reader to the USB port. But has anyone done that??? NO!!!


Amazing, isn’t it? So many instances of this so called advanced system that are not fully utilized to the full extent of their capabilities!


And, as for maintenance, the Malacca monorail stopped again with 18 tourists inside it recently. What’s the problems with maintaining monorails? We have been using monorails for many years!!! Imagine the kind of impression that gives to the tourists. Here they are enjoying the many historical sites in Malacca while riding the monorail, and then suddenly the damned thing just stopped in the middle of somewhere, and they have to be helped to get down using a ladder! Those monorails are not ten feet off the ground!!! Imagine the suffering of the older tourists! Shameful, if you ask me!


On the political front, the PM seems to have given the right message to the UMNO members, and I have to salute Idris Jusoh, the former Chief Minister of Terengganu and current Chairman of MARA, for announcing that he will not seek re-election in the next general election to make way for younger members. To be honest, I like the guy. He is a politician ahead of his time. He ran Terengganu like a company, so much so that the people of Terengganu just could not keep up with him, and led to his downfall!


Will he be the only one making such an announcement? Knowing the leeches in UMNO, I seriously doubt that we are going to see a lot of similar announcements! Talking about leaches, the young prince from Negri Sembilan got into trouble for calling some UMNO members leaches! He did apologize and clarified his remark. I like this young man. He is one of the few members of the royal families who have been saying the right things. You need to have more of this. Since the royal families are supposed to be above politics, they have a duty to the citizens to ensure that politicians don’t get carried away in trying to win votes. This should be the “regia via”.


On the “war of the airport”, it looks like the fight between MAHB and Tony Fernandez is not going to end soon. Now the staff of Air Asia is using Tony’s car (parked in from the LCCT) as the billboard against the increase in airport charges! Come on, man! In business, there are things you just cannot fight. This is not politics!!! And who is going to pay for the airport charges? The people using the airports, NOT the airlines! It will not cut into your bottom line, Tony!!! So who are you fighting for? The customers??? Hey, you refused to use aerobridges for the customers (who are willing to pay the additional few ringgit), and now you are concerned about airport charges???


The charges was increased by the Ministry of Transport. Why don’t you go and picket at the MOT’s office, and not make a fool of your nice Peugeot 308cc car?? What are you going to get fighting against MAHB? Free airplane parking at the airport?? It is plain silly!! So in deference to Monsieur Rene Artois, “I am going to zay this only wanz, move on!”.


As usual, I will be updating my weekly commentaries soon. As for football fans (MU only), I have some comments on the embarrassing loss to Crystal Palace (who???) in the Carling Cup.


On another note, Happy Birthday, Ami! And the street party you hosted last night was awesome!!

5th December 2011 – The tiger is out of the woods

Don’t worry folks, no tiger has escaped from the zoo or escaped from the National Park to venture into town. Such an incidence would not have been unheard of though, as zoos are such horrible places in this country, and the National Park, whilst still pristine is not immune to the odd hunter looking to kill a tiger for the tiger’s body parts. When will people ever learn? Tiger body parts don’t do anything for your health! It is not going to boost your libido (haven’t heard of Viagra or Cialis?) or help with your arthritis or asthma or whatever! Duh!!! Eat my golf balls!!


Anyway, the tiger I am referring to above is Tiger Woods, who has finally won a tournament, the Chevron World Challenge, after 2 years, a divorce, 14 mistresses, one banged up car (hit with a 3 iron by the ex-wife) and USD100 million in divorce settlement. Oh, what a life to be a blonde (the ex-wife) and marry a superstar! The guy strays and it’s off to the divorce court and humongous settlement and you are set for life! God, why wasn’t I born a blonde woman??? Damned!!!


Oh, well, congratulations to my fellow Capricorn! I am sure the USD1.2 million prize money is nothing to Tiger, but it is not the money that matters. It is so that people will forget that he had 14 mistresses. Just pass it over to me Tiger (the money I mean, not the mistresses), I need it much more than you!


You know, we Capricorns, when we are down, we are really down, but the moment we get up, the world better watch out! Just look at the lives of other famous Capricorns, Sir Alex Ferguson, Muhammad Ali, Sir Isaac Newton, Joan of Arc, Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean), Sir Anthony Hopkins (my favourite actor, especially as Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lamb), Elvis Presley, Denzel Washington (another favourite actor of mine), David Bowie, Ricky Martin (to those who are gays), Kate Moss (to those who like women with no flesh), Richard Nixon, Martin Luther King Jr, and the list goes on. Jeez, I am the only one not famous!!!


Capricorns are the most ambitious of all the signs, and we can be difficult to deal with. Just ask the players in Manchester United, or the French. Oh, well, none of the French remembers what it was like dealing with Joan of Arc! We are the most moody people, but we are also the most emphatic people. And don’t ever cross us! The phrase “hell has no fury….” was actually meant for Capricorns, until the men decided that it is better to just use it to justify making fun of women! I used to tell my staff, I can be the best friend you will ever have or I can be the worst enemy you will ever have. And that’s very true!


So, to the world of professional golf, watch out! The Tiger is back! Well, if he can keep his dick in his pants!


On the local political front, it looks very much like the General Elections is coming soon. The PM has been giving good messages and trying his hardest to change the mind-set of UMNO members. I have serious doubt that UMNO is going to change much soon. Just wait until the election is near and you will hear all the jockeying for positions and campaigns to be on the nominated list. As I have said many times, culture can only be changed by a revolution and revolutions are normally bloody! I have not seen any blood yet in UMNO! The Putra World Trade Centre looks very clean after the UMNO General Assembly! So where’s the blood??? I want to see blood!!!


The opposition in the meantime keeps showing what a bunch of dick-heads that they are. First, demolish a car park that they built badly, and now it’s going to cost RM5 million to demolish. Then one idiot keep calling another politician “black metallic”. Oooi, got nothing better to do ar???


So, it looks like I am never going to finally vote after all in this country. It is weird. When I was in England as a student, I actually voted in the Warwickshire Council by-election. I don’t know how I got to be in the electoral rolls. Maybe they didn’t realise I am a Malaysian or they just made a mistake. But voted I did. And why? Because I liked the Labour Party candidate that was taking part. I heard him talked and really liked his ideas. And those days (during Margaret Thatcher’s time) it was also fashionable for students to vote for Labour, though they had dick-heads too running the party, like Neil Kinnock!


It is a real shame that professionals or ex-professionals (like me) are not making ourselves heard in the elections because we are just so tired of the whole damned thing! The problem is they isn’t really a viable alternative to the ruling party. Or at least a big enough viable alternatives. You have the small ones like Kita, but the Pakatan Rakyat is just a joke! I would not want this country to be led by that arse loving idiot! I know him, ok!!!


So folks, have a great productive week. I know I have not updated the commentaries for this week. Can’t find a good enough topic to write about, but it will come soon, I am sure.


In the meantime, watch this youtube video about American bias towards Muslim. They just don’t get it, do they?? Oh, well, that’s why they are Americans. They think the world is America, and America is the world!

5th December – The price of greatness is responsibility

After cracking my head and scouring the newspapers, I finally found something to write about in my weekly commentaries. I was also inspired by the four beautiful ladies (my princess and queens from VADS) that had lunch with me today. Thank you ladies! I wasn’t the only guy la. Before you start shouting, “Four ladies???”, Fahizul “the Bosnian” Khairi joined me too!


Anyway, the above quote is from Sir Winston Churchill, the affable yet sarcastic man who led Britain during World War 2. Jeez, when do I need to stop giving you guys history lessons?


I decided to write after reading the article on page 4 of The Star today with the following headline, “I did not marry artiste.”. The remark is attributed to the former Inspector General of Police (IGP), Tan Sri Musa Hassan. To my British friends who are wondering whether all Malaysians have long names like me, the answer is no. The “Tan Sri” is a title conferred by the King. And in Malaysia, there are more titled people than anywhere in the world, and for your information I don’t have one. I am just a plain “Encik” or “Mr”, though the staff at KLGCC is fond of calling me “Datuk” (another title conferred by either the King or any of the other Sultans from the nine states). I am truly fine with being an Encik, and have no interest in trying to “get” one of the Datukships, though I know some of my friends have even “paid” for these Datukships!


Anyway, back to the article. The remarks sound very similar to the one uttered by an ex-President of the USA, “I did not have sex with that woman!”. Of course at the end of it all, he was impeached by the House of Representatives on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice on December 19, 1998, but acquitted by the Senate on February 12, 1999. Two other impeachment articles, a second perjury charge and a charge of abuse of power, failed in the House. That will never happen in Malaysia. Politicians in Malaysia are fond of having sex with starlets or marrying them, and no one would bat an eyelid! So too are rich businessmen, especially the Bumiputra kind, and since Bumiputras are Muslims and can have four wives, you can imagine what great lives the Malaysian starlets are having. As for the non-Bumiputra rich businessman, since polygamy is illegal for them, they have these starlets as mistresses! God, why wasn’t I born a starlet??? By the way, some of these starlets live in my service apartment complex. They drive fancy cars!


The flustered ex-IGP has denied what was claimed in a blog, and the starlet (who I have never heard of!), also denied it, and said that her husband is much younger and more good looking! And he’s rich!!! Another rich Bumiputra businessman who probably don’t even have a real business! Ah, well, good on her on her catch!


So, what am I writing out? It is about irresponsible blogging! What do you think? How to marry a starlet???


There are so many blogs today, and some of you even said I am a new blogger. I am not a blogger!!!


Why are people so irresponsible nowadays? Why do you need to write something that you probably know are lies? Is this the kind of freedom that the liberals so vociferously are fighting for? The freedom to lie, cheat and steal? The freedom to preach hate? A war was wage by a superpower based on lies!!


Is technology at fault? I know it is not! We human have become mad!! We human have become greedy for fame! We have become more animalistic! The fight for survival has taken a new height! Wars have become “non-events”! Rapes of children have become “non-events”! What is wrong with humanity?


We are so engrossed with materialism, that we forget about humanity!


The human population has reached 7 billion!! And 108 billion people has inhabited earth since time immemorial! And yet, we are becoming more and more irresponsible! We are irresponsible to our fellow mankind, to the earth, to the other creatures inhabiting earth! Why???


Whatever I write on my website, I have facts to back them up! So, to which ever blogger that decides to malign the ex-IGP, please show proof of what he did. I am not the ex-IGP’s friend or supporter. I just want the truth out there. As the FBI agent Fox Mulder would say to Agent Scully, “The truth is out there.”.


So to all the bloggers, if you don’t have the talent for writing (like me, he he), don’t put out lies out there! I am not saying the above allegation is a lie, but I have not seen any proof, and both the “guilty” parties have refuted the allegation.


By the way, if you guys are wondering why I hate a certain opposition politician so much, I have a very very very very very very very strong source who I believe 1 million percent about the politician’s sexual shenanigans! In fact there is official court record to proof it, except the record is sealed and the evidence was never reported in the press, as the testimony was heard “in camera”. It is not Latin, but it means that the testimony was heard with only the judge, prosecution team, the witness and the accused present in court. Comprende??? Even the doting wife and doting daughter were not in court. That’s why they are now President and Vice President of the party!!!


So guys, forget about all the conspiracy theories!!! You guys can be so gullible at times! Typical Malaysians!!!


So, in deference to Monsieur Rene Artois, I will zay diz only wanz, “Bloggers, be responsible!”.


On another note, please read the following message from one of the authors of Wikipedia.



From Wikipedia author Susan Hewitt

Ever wonder how Wikipedia can cover so many topics so well?

Ever since I was a girl, I’ve been a total nerd about seashells and snails. I’d bring home all sorts of creatures. My mother wasn’t too thrilled. I’ve contributed to hundreds of articles about gastropods. Now multiply that by 100,000 editors. That's how we got to 15 million articles.


For this to keep working, we volunteers need a stable infrastructure on which to work: servers, tech staff, a legal team to protect our independence and more.


Wikipedia is the #5 website in the world, but its infrastructure is maintained by a small non-profit -- all paid for by donations, just individuals giving $5, $20 or $50. Please pitch in.


Wikipedia works because there’s this unspoken light inside all of us that comes from the desire to help educate, to help share knowledge. And that’s what makes Wikipedia so magical.


If you stop and think for even a second, you’ll realize how fabulous it is to get this information without a paywall, and to not have to read ads. It’s like a voice of sanity in a crazy, consumerist world.


If you benefit from Wikipedia, please consider kicking in at least a small amount of cash to support it if you can.




Susan Hewitt

Wikipedia Author

7th December 2011 corruptio optimi pessima

Argggg, not another Latin lesson! I can hear someone saying.


Well, tough! I love Latin, and Latin women (he he)!!


The corruption of the best is the worst. That’s what it means. Don’t understand? That means that it is worse when the best people are the ones corrupted.


Does it happen? Of course it does! Duh!! Greed!!!


I am not implying that a certain former Chief Minister of the tiny state, Perlis, is corrupt, based on the article in the Star, yesterday.


I have always admired the man. He seemed to be down to earth and based on my one encounter with him, I was definitely impressed. This happened many years ago when I was doing my rounds in the north when the Depository had set up an office in Alor Star. I decided then to take a short trip to visit Kangar, the capital, where my good golfing buddy was the CEO of Upen Securities. We decided to have lunch and visited the only big hotel in town, and there we found the affable Chief Minister sitting in one corner with a young back-packer from Europe.


So we decided to pop over to their table and say hello, since my friend knows him well. He greeted us and then introduced us to the clueless back-packer. The CM said that he was driving around town (on his own, without a driver or any police escorts) and saw the young man looking for a ride. So he stopped his car and ask the young man where he was going. And the young man said that he was looking for a ride into Thailand. So he offered the young man a ride to the border and offered him lunch first, which the young man who had no clue who the CM was, gladly accepted. And they ended up at that hotel having lunch (only lunch ok!!!)


Now, have you ever met a Chief Minister who has done that? I know some of you are friends with many Chief Ministers, and I bet none of you have ever heard of such a tale! And over the years I have heard about him and some of his involvements in the corporate world, and never once have I heard of him being corrupted. So it came as a shock to me when the allegation came out!


“The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie”, Anne Landers (who???).


I don’t know what the truth is, but the truth is out there, as Agent Mulder would say to Agent Scully. He has denied it and has stated his intention to sue. Well, if the allegation is untrue, I hope the people who made the allegation will pay for the slander. But, if the allegation is true, I hope the MACC will not let him go, and bring him to book, and I have to say that I am extremely disappointed. To me it is very simple. It’s like finding out that all this while, Michael Jackson had lip-synched all his songs to Diana Ross’s voice! Anyone wants to argue with that?


Not that I am trying to pick up a fight. Just in the mood for a fight after encountering four “kurang ajar” Bumiputra golfers at KLGCC today. To my English friends, there is no translation for “kurang ajar” in English. The nearest is “uncouth” and that is very mild! I am not going to elaborate on what happened, as my golfing friends already know about it. Suffice to say that if my lovely “elder sister”, Datuk Mohaiyani and my best friend, “The Bosnian” had not restrained me, I would have smashed my big driver into their faces! We have enough Bumiputra politicians in this country embarrassing the rest of us Bumiputras. We don’t need to be embarrassed by a bunch of Bumiputra golfers. One of them is even a doctor. I don’t know what kind, but obviously one who just had a lobotomy! I had a client in my flight, who I have recommended to the club to attract to join as a member. I was so embarrassed! Anyway it is already on the web-site.


I have already said, “Don’t mess with Capricorns!”, especially this Capricorn!


Well, enough of that.


After having such a difficult time trying to write my commentaries this week, yesterday was a real boon when I finally opened the papers in the evening.


Not only the idiotic fight between Air Asia and MAHB has been prolonged with some childish behaviour. “I show you, and you show me, then I show you again, and then you show me again!” What the hell is wrong with these guys?? One is the most successful low cost airlines in the world, the other a very good airport operator, who not only operates airports in Malaysia but also overseas!


All together now, “NO COMMON SENSE!!!”


On another corporate scandal, the High Court overturned the decision of the Session Court to acquit two former senior officers of PUNB of falsifying share and bond certificates amounting to US$5 billion. The High Court sentenced the former CEO and former company secretary to four years in jail. Serve them right!!! I can’t believe this is an organization that once interviewed me for the post of CEO some years ago, and I met a Board of Directors of clueless people, except the Chairman, a former minister that I had played golf once and I really like because he is a very principled man. This Chairman was once the youngest federal minister, but too blunt for other politicians and spent many years in the wilderness and operating a dry cleaning business.


On the political front (if you can call it that), the all-party Special Committee on Corruption (SCC) has recommended that the MACC be answerable to Parliament instead of being put under the Prime Minister’s Department. I fully support that! Why on earth would a department that is supposed to be impartial be under the PM’s Department. What?? People in the PM’s Department are incapable of committing corrupt acts?? Don’t answer that, or I will make you eat my golf balls!!!


The very same committee also want political parties to be more transparent in their handling of funds. Hallelujah!!! Yes, be open, and if you want votes to be bought (like in the great USA), make the world know about it. The Americans are doing it (buying favours from Congress) unashamedly!! So why can’t we do it too??? Then the many American commentators who have never been to this part of the world can just shut the hell up and stop commenting on countries in Asia that they can’t even point out on the world map! Malaysia? Uh, is that somewhere between Singapore and Thailand? And where is Singapore?? Oh, that tiny dot there. And where is Thailand? Ummm… that’s the place we American men go to have cheap sex, right???


On another political issue, the Tiger of Jelutong, the Honourable MP, Mr Karpal Singh, has said that Datukships put DAP in “awkward spot”. Eh, aren’t there two highly ranked members of the party having Datukships?? One, a state assembly speaker and one, a state chairman! Talk about principles!!! Lawyers!!! What do you expect??? Sorry to my lawyer friends!!!


I also would like to share a quote from a democracy leader which I think, whilst true, made her looked a bit silly.


“Some people are worried that taking part could harm my dignity. Frankly, if you do politics, you should not be thinking about your dignity” – Aung Sang Suu Kyi


Back to the corporate world, Khazanah (the government’s investment arm) has decided to divest their investment in Proton. After the company is bleeding money, and spending so much on Lotus! And these guys in Khazanah are supposed to be geniuses in portfolio management!!! Puhhhleeze!!!


Sell the damned company to Renault, and let Monsieur Carlos Ghosn (pronounced “gone”, if you must know) turn it around like he did at Nissan. The man is a genius and I have heard him speak here. The best CEO in the auto world, if you ask me. And probably the best CEO in the world, who proudly told the audience of the who’s who of Malaysian corporate world at the Shangri-la Hotel, Kuala Lumpur, that he does not read his e-mails after 5 pm!


The Brazilian-Lebanese-Frenchman (talk about a confused race!) not only changed the business culture of the “keiretsu”, but turn the company around, and was called “le cost killer” in France. That’s what a CEO should be like! Not like some of our CEOs who think that by having meetings at mid-nights, they are doing a great job. That just means you don’t know how to manage your time!!! And that you have no respect for other people’s time!!! Duh!!!


On the technology world, a trio of software developers have just cracked the BlackBerry PlayBook Tablet computer software. The BlackBerry maker, Research In Motion (RIM) is investigating the “jail breaking” claim, which of course threaten to spoil RIM’s reputation for mobile devices with tough security. As I have said before, I don’t like BlackBerry and it is the most disruptive gadget ever invented. Serve them right!! I never liked proprietary system.


And to those who own Apple shares (another company with a proprietary system), start selling your shares. I don’t think Apple is going to survive without Steve Jobs. Apple may have the best industrial designer in Jonathan Ive, and new CEO in Tim Cook (who is probably one of the best operations guy around), but as Jobs even said, “He’s not a product guy”. Apple is what it is today because of its products and because the late Jobs is a product guy. Apple was Steve Jobs, and Steve Jobs was Apple! So sell!!!!!


And following the advice of my friend Fazz, I will soon be tweeting @fathiridzuan. Check it out soon.


9th December 2011 – Godfathers and Warlords -  教父 and  军阀

What the ****? I can hear some of you shouting!


I don’t read Chinese either, though I did attend lessons when I was in Standard 2 in primary school. But that’s almost 40 years ago!


So it looks like not only the component parties in Barisan National (National Front) that have godfathers and warlords. My English friends will be able to tell you all that in the UK, the National Front is a white supremacist party! But let’s not go into that.


It looks like even in the DAP (Democratic Action Party), there are godfathers and warlords! Oh, dear!!! We all know that the PKR is run by a Mafia family, but the DAP too??? Haven’t they got enough problems having to pay for a RM5 million demolition job of a car park that my car would not even be able to drive in???


The only saving grace for the DAP is that they don’t have an Empress Dowager (女皇)in the party! That’s a big relief!!


And PAS has just announced that they will close the casino in Genting if they win the state of Pahang. Eh, what was that when they said “Hudud” will not affect non-Muslim?? I am against gambling, but I will not impinged on the right of others to gamble. Where else are they going to go. The other casino, the stock exchange is in doldrums. I have lost tons of money! I wasn’t gambling, ok??? I was investing!!


That’s politics for you! And people wonder why the politicians are nothing but a bunch of jokers!


I have a good suggestion to the Election Commission (EC). Instead of wasting money holding a General Election (GE), why not get each party to perform a comedy skit, similar to the “Raja Lawak” (King of Jokers) program that Astro had. The team that gets the most laugh wins the election. Not only taxpayers money will be spared, we will all get good entertainment.


And to the big relief of everyone, the “Airport War” has ended! Good!!! Now move on!!!


By the way, a few days ago I received an e-mail detailing the salaries of the “Cow Family”. I had a shock of my life! Since I can’t verify the numbers, I can’t print them here, but suffice to say that very few CEO’s get those kind of salaries! Now I know why rearing cows is so lucrative! The cows get grass, and you get tons of money!


I think I can run that company better, and I would be happy to accept half of what they get! That’s a saving of RM1.2 million (oops) a year! Now which condominium should I buy? Damned! None of the condominiums in my area cost anything less than that! Looks like I’ll just have to settle for the new Mercedez CLS350 (which I am drooling at!), and I will still have half a million ringgit to spare! Good deal, isn’t it? Come on, you can’t get a better CEO than that! Save RM1.2 million a year in salaries! I don’t even need a discount card for the restaurants that they also own.


If they still don’t want to hire me, then perhaps they should talk to the Easa Salleh Al Gurg Group from the UAE, a conglomerate run by women. They are looking for “halal” business opportunities in Malaysia, and they sounded really good. The Managing Director is also president of the Dubai Business Women Council. Sometimes you need a woman to put some sense into the heads of these idiots!!


On the political front, it looks very likely that the GE is coming soon after Chinese New Year. What more sign do you need? The government has just “bribed” the government servants with a hefty increment! And we all know, that’s 1.3 million votes out of 11.8 million, 11 per cent!


In the meantime, the Home Minister (and cousin in-law of the Empress Dowager) has said that “We will balance public order and basic human rights”. Whilst I agree with that, that’s not going to happen with the wimpish minister around, isn’t it?  Let me tell you, a caterpillar has more backbones than this minister! Ooops, caterpillars don’t have back bones! No wonder I didn’t do too well in biology in my “O” levels!


On the corporate side, the MD of Gamuda will be extending his contract due to the MRT (Mass Rapid Transport) extension project. The article in the Star also quoted that he is mentoring eight potential successors! Eight!!! Wow!! Hmmm, I wonder if the GLCs have such mentoring programs? Oh, yes, they do! But how do you expect it to work when the mentors are useless!!! Duh!!!


On the stock market front, it looks like the speculative fever on Proton has subsided. I am not surprised. Come on guys, selling the company to another local conglomerate is not going to cut it! Don’t those smart asses in Khazanah know anything about the world automotive industry? What did they teach these guys at Cambridge, Oxford, Yale, Stanford, Harvard and MIT??? Bring Monsieur Carlos Ghosn to Malaysia!!! Pay him RM1 million a month, for all I care! I will be happy to be his Personal Assistant with one-tenth of his package! He’ll turn the place around.


10th December 2011 – Instant Noodles

Nope, I am not selling noodles now. In fact I am not selling anything, except for my brilliant mind (he he).


Yesterday, I found myself with no excess to the internet. I was at the Kiara Equestrian Club, and had a couple of hours to kill, and decided to take my tablet/laptop out. Normally there is a connection at the Saddle Coffee-House, but I was at the Sports Centre. I forgot to bring my Celcom dongle, and I could not get service from Yes. Since I still haven’t figured out how to use my Samsung Galaxy S2 as a modem, I tried scanning for wi-fi hot-spots. Surprise, surprise, there was a TM WiFi hotspot there. So I happily connected to the router. Then when I opened my browser, I was directed to a TM site, asking me to log-on using my TM WiFi hotspot ID, which I don’t have. But then I could also buy access online, the TM WiFi/Celcom WiFi Instant service, and it costs only RM5 per day.


So I happily entered my details, and I got this message “Please wait until the transaction is finished before pressing the 'Check Status' button.” I waited, and I waited and I waited. After about 20 minutes, I just pressed the “Check Status” button, and I got “Transaction Status Pending”. After almost an hour, it was still pending! So I just gave up.


So I supposed they have no idea what “instant” means! Maybe eating too much instant noodles!!! For a company that is fond of having so many management committees that meet until late at night, they have no idea what “instant” means! Instant means “immediate; designed for easy or quick preparation”, according to my Webster Pocket Dictionary. Eat my golf balls!!


Talking about the same company, I have a friend who lives in the poshest neighbourhood in KL, Kenny Hills. As many of you know, nothing cost less than RM5 million there. For that amount you might get a nice plot for your dog house! Many, many, months ago, he signed up for Uni-Fi. He waited and waited and waited. After about 3 months, someone came and checked the place. He was told that they could not connect his house to the nearest fibre junction, as it is just too far down the road (down the road, ok!!!). Being a very nice man that he is, he just accepted it. After another 3 months, another person came to the house to install his Uni-Fi. Again he was told that the nearest fibre junction is too far down the road (down the road!!!).


Now, 2 visits in 6 months to tell my friend that he could not be connected!!! Wow, those midnight meetings must have turn their brains into jellies!! “It is not our fault, we have outsourced the installations to third party contractors.” I bet that will be the answer!


And who pays for the third party contractors?


You see when I told my business partner to get the Yes broadband service, she went online and check the availability of the service at her housing area. She also called them, and she was told that she will not be able to connect at her place as the transmission towers have yet to be erected. But I told her to sign up anyway. And guess what? She took the “huddle” home, she was able to connect. The speed wasn’t great but definitely better that the old “rivermyx” service provided by the other telco!


Under promised, over deliver. My boss used to say. But for TM, it’s over promised and don’t deliver!


All together now, “NO BUSINESS SENSE!!”


“Business is never so healthy as when, like a chicken, it must do a certain amount of scratching around for what it gets.” - Henry Ford


Someone asked me the other day, where the hell do I get these ideas when I write? What ideas???


I am writing based on what I read and encounter every day. No brainer really!! I don’t think I am even using 5 per cent of my brain to write all these things!


And all of you (those in Malaysia) probably read the same thing every day, and may encounter the same thing every day. You just don’t write about it. And all of you are probably just as pissed off as me!


The other day after sending an e-mail to another friend, she responded with “I want to punch that woman!”. Don’t la, very ugly when women fight, you know!! Though I won’t mind being the referee (he he). Haven’t you seen the women of the WWF? Not the WWF that wants to save pandas! The wrestling one. I know you guys won’t admit it! After all, all you guys are watching is “The Rock”, right?


Don’t worry la, if “that woman” continues defending her “cow family”, she will go down (and I don’t mean that in the sexual sense, he he).


What goes around comes around. Apparently no one knows where this phrase originates from. But another phrase, “You reap what you sow”, is from the Bible, Galatians 6:vii, "whatever someone sows, that is what he will reap". So the cow family will reap what they sow.


On another political story, Zaid Ibrahim, the president of KITA, is suing a blogger for talking about his ego. When will this guy ever learn? You are a politician, not a lawyer anymore! Politicians are easy targets! Can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen!!! Did Mahathir sue anyone during his tenure??


“Politicians and diapers should be changed frequently and all for the same reason.” - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz (who???)

12th December 2011 -  Cum tacent, clamant

Nothing sexual in the above Latin quotes, ok???


“When they are silent, they cry out”. That’s the feeling of the majority of Malaysians nowadays, and many of you are in the same boat.


I am no longer silent, because the silence is too deafening for me, thus the unquiet mind!


Every day, we hear something that pissed us off. And we sit and laugh.  Comédie d'erreurs. The comedy of errors.


From the unyielding arrogance of UMNO, to the stupidity of some from the opposition parties. Politicians have become the biggest jokers of all time.


“Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.”  H.L. Mencken


“Politicians are the same all over.  They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.” - Nikita Khrushchev


So what hope does the silent majority have? Sadly very little!


What hope do your children have of the future? Sadly not much!


My commentaries for 13th December, touched on the piece by the Group Managing Editor of the Star in the Sunday Star, 11th December 2011.


Whilst our politicians are trying their utmost to beat each other by slandering each other, the younger generations are adopting the attitude that they are the gifts from God! The article quoted a young woman (and fresh graduate) rejecting a job that comes with a salary of RM2,500 because the job is in PJ and she lives in Cheras. She did not want to wake up early to get to work! Maybe she failed her geography and did not know that Cheras and PJ is only a few kilometres apart!


Some of you have probably faced similar situations when it comes to employing fresh graduates. I have on many occasions. When I was in the call-centre business, the Human Resource Team interviewed 11,000 people in 2008 for positions in the various call-centres. Out of that, hardly 200 made it, less than 2 per cent! Why? Attitude!! And lack of communications skills!! Just because you can speak English or Malay does not mean you can communicate in English or Malay. In the call-centres, it is not just about speaking, but communicating!! Big difference!


How does this country expect to be a “high income” economy when our construction labourers are from Indonesia, our maids are from Indonesia, the Philippines and Myanmar (until they ban it recently), our restaurant workers are from Bangladesh and Myanmar and our security guards are from Nepal?


Yesterday, I had lunch with an old friend who had spent the last 4 years in the middle east. We were joined by a Chinese family, where the parent had spent the last 12 years in the middle-east. They asked me about the employment rate in this country, and I said I honestly don’t know. Apparently the Saudi Arabian government had spent USD47 billion to pay the unemployed Saudis, and to keep them quiet, so that the “Arab spring” will not spread to Saudi Arabia. One of the richest countries in the world, and yet one with very high unemployment rate. And like Malaysia, their maids are from Indonesia and the Philippines, and their construction workers are from India, Pakistan and Indonesia!


Now, if the younger generation is adopting the same attitude as that young lady from Cheras, wouldn’t we one day find ourselves being a “high income” economy and yet having a high unemployment rate as well?


In the past, I have always told my staff that, attitude is everything. If you don’t have the right attitude, no matter how many degrees you have, you are never going to be good at your job.

“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” – W. Clement Stone


“Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force.” – Irving Berlin


It is the attitude of the people that has turned this country into what it is now. Don’t blame the politicians, don’t blame the education system, but blame yourselves!


Politicians’ behaviour is a reflection of society. The society has failed. You voted them in! They didn’t vote themselves in! You pay their salaries!


“We’ve been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta and now you want some privacy?”


That’s Daniel Craig (James Bond), ripping into reality stars like the Kardashians.


Why do people like the Kardashians put their lives on TV, twenty four hours a day and 7 days a week? Because they know that people will pay to watch!


Why did the paparazzi chased after celebrities so that they can have titillating pictures for the newspapers and magazines to print? Because people will pay to see these pictures!


That’s what society is! Politicians would not dare make racist statements if they know that people will not tolerate it.


But we want an open society, the liberal would say! But when it hits you, you cry like a baby, just like how some opposition politicians are fond of doing!




Accidents happen on the road because of the attitude of motorists, not because cars can go faster today. Cars do not look for other cars to hit. Cars do not drive into ravines on their own. Cars do not run traffic lights on their own. Cars do not park illegally on their own.




We are a country with bad attitude! And that bad attitude will destroy the future of the younger generations! And who is to blame, YOU are to blame!


Yesterday I got a call from KLGCC informing me that they have received my complaint on the four idiots that hit their balls towards the green while my flight was still on the green. A disciplinary committee hearing will be held in two weeks’ time. Why did they do what they did? Attitude! And I am going to point it to their faces if they dare show their faces at the disciplinary hearing! I don’t give two hoots who they are, and I don’t care who they are related to.

To the Sultan of Selangor, Happy 66th Birthday, Tuanku. Keep on advising the politicians on how to behave, though most likely they will only accept your advice when it suits their political agendas. That’s why they are politicians! I am sure you already know that.

To those working in Selangor and enjoying the public holiday in Selangor, stay in Selangor! Don’t clog the traffic in KL! We have to work in KL! Well, my friends do.

damnant quod non intellegunt – 14th December 2011

“They passed judgement on what they do not comprehend”


That’s civil servants for you. In particular the idiots at MOSTI (Ministry of Science, Technology and Innovation), who have decided that now is the time to introduce legislation to regulate computer professionals. The legislation “allegedly will require anyone and everyone to register if they so much as modify the HTML of their blog post”! (NST, Tuesday, 13th December 2011).


The people in MOSTI most likely carry the latest iPhones and iPads, though they hardly know how to use them, and probably don’t even know the difference between HTML and XML! And they probably tell people how “IT savvy” they are!


The ministry that is supposedly set up “for knowledge generation, wealth creation and societal well-being”! That’s what it says on its website. What a bunch of jokers!


Then they tried to defend themselves by saying that only those involved with Critical National Information Infrastructure (CNII) projects will be affected and that registration is not mandatory. So, basically people like me who own Systems Integration (SI) companies will not be able to tender for government projects because I am not an IT professional, though I can write programs and I can diagnose problems with Windows! Have you seen some of the companies that get government IT projects? When I was working for a large IT organisation, many of these companies come crawling to us seeking partnerships to tender for government projects. Why? One, they don’t have the funds, and two, the skills! Yet, these companies were bidding for projects worth millions! The smaller companies with the skills normally don’t get the projects. Why? Because they don’t have the “political connections” and bankers won’t fund them as bankers don’t understand IT businesses! Not because they can’t do the jobs!


So, will this new regulation help these small companies. I seriously doubt it.


In any case, for any company to tender for government projects, it has to be certified by the Ministry of Finance. And I know of many companies who are certified, but not run by IT professionals. They are just small businessmen who understand IT and believe in IT. And getting certification is not easy.


Hello, the Minister of Science, Technology and Innovation, Apple was run by a dropout with no formal IT qualification, and so did Microsoft!


How does this regulation “enhance the value” and “raise the standards” of ICT workers? When I look for a programmer, I don’t give a shit whether the guy has an IT degree from MIT. I look for someone who can write programs well, and has the creativity. And he must have good attitude! And some of the best and most innovative programmers I have known have very little formal IT qualifications!


“What the Civil Service wants, and I always compare it to a rather stupid dog, it wants to do what its master wants and it wants to be loyal to its master and above all it wants to be loved for doing that.” – Sir Richard Mottram


“Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.” – General Sir Walter Walker


Isn’t there already enough stupidity in this country? That’s the job of the politicians! Oh, I forgot, the minister is a politician!


What on earth are they doing in that ministry? This reminds me of the quote in the “Yes Minister” series. “If people don't know what you're doing, they don't know what you're doing wrong." Damned right! This has clearly shown that the people in that ministry don’t know what they doing! Eat my golf balls!!


No wonder the civil servants are seen by many as the achilles’ heel of the government. To those wondering how the term came about, it was based on Greek mythology where when Achilles was a baby, it was foretold that he would die in battle from an arrow in the foot. To prevent his death, his mother Thetis took Achilles to the River Styx which was supposed to offer powers of invincibility and dipped his body into the water. But as Thetis held Achilles by the heel, his heel was not washed over by the water of the magical river.


That’s why Brad Pitt (as Achilles) was killed in the movie “Troy” when an arrow struck his heel! You guys thought some genius in Hollywood came up with that?


On the political front, kudos to the “submarine diving” Chief Minister of Penang for having the balls to get into the Royal Malaysian Navy’s (RMN) submarine to verify the “diving ability” of the submarine. And I also received an e-mail forwarded from the manager of the famous jazz singer, Ning Baizura, who bumped into the Chief Minister at the airport who then sat in the economy class alone. She was really impressed! I have to say that I don’t have a problem with any chief minister that wants to sit in the business class as long he does not bring a whole village of “hangers on”, which is what usually happens. I was bumped off once from the Business Class because a minister decided to let his “hangers on” sit with him, and I was extremely upset! I bet they did not even pay for the Business Class fares!


I also received an e-mail that showed how rich another Chief Minister and his family are. This Chief Minister (who said that he will step down soon after winning the last state election, but does not look like going anytime soon) apparently has assets worth twice those owned by Queen Elizabeth II! Hmmm, Ma’am, didn’t you inherit all those assets? This Chief Minister also “inherited” all these assets from the indigenous people of his state!!


Someone once asked me, how much will be enough for me to not work for the rest of my life, and I said RM15 million will do it for me. This Chief Minister has assets apparently worth RM4.6 billion, 307 times more!!! After almost 47 years of living, and half of that time working, I still haven’t got my RM15 million. But the Chief Minister is happily counting his riches and has even called the indigenous people stupid for not being rich! Some people just do not know the meaning of greed, humility and enough!


On another corporate front, it looks like Proton is finally going to be sold, to DRB-Hicom, after the announcement by Dr Mahathir. Now, I haven’t seen any announcement from DRB-Hicom. Isn’t that against the Listing Rules, Bursa Malaysia?? Will Bursa Malaysia now reprimand Dr Mahathir and DRB-Hicom?? Don’t answer that!!!


A car is like you mother-in-law – 15th December 2011

"I'm not against cars. But your city doesn't have to be oriented toward them. A car is like your mother-in-law. You want to have a good relationship with her, but you can't let her conduct your life. When a city has good public transportation, it becomes for people and for cars. Imagine a city with 30 percent fewer cars on the streets."


-                      Jaime Lerner, former Mayor of Curitaba, Brazil (pop. 1.7 million)


Lerner was instrumental in Curitaba making a major investment in "bus rapid transit" systems. Curitaba is now considered the best city in the world when it comes to public transportation.


Perhaps Lerner is who the Selangor State Government should hire, after reading about the plan by the Selangor State Government to draw up a cheaper public transportation system (Star, Thursday, 15th December 2011).


To those who have not been to Malaysia, in particular to Kuala Lumpur, traffic is the second most talked about topic amongst Malaysian, after politics.


Kuala Lumpur and the Klang Valley have a population of 4.7 million and 3.2 million cars! Two cars for every three person, and most of the cars move around the Klang Valey on a daily basis. This does not include buses! In the Klang Valley today only 17% or approximately 1.24 million trips per day are

completed using public transport. The number of cars are expected to reach 7 million by 2020 as 30,000 cars are added to the already congested roads daily! Now based on the population growth rate of 1.6% currently, the Klang Valley will have a population of 5.4 million by 2020, so that will mean that there will be 1.3 cars for every one person!


Just imagine that! There will be more cars than people in the Klang Valley by 2020! Buy the shares of companies selling cars! (Ooops… I don’t think I am giving investment advice Securities Commission!)


I just don’t get it. These statistics are not something the government does not know about, or maybe they don’t!. After all, not only the DAP has godfathers and warlords, but so does the civil service.


The Klang Valley is probably the only cosmopolitan area in the world that busses are partly privatized and partly funded by the tax payers after a failed privatization of the mass rapid transport system earlier!


And now the private owners of bus companies are crying foul! And they have stopped providing services in the Klang Valley. And who can blame them? Whilst RapidKL is government owned (and paid by you, the taxpayers), other bus operators have to run their buses with fares being controlled by the government! Whilst petrol prices have increased by 700% over the last ten years, bus fares have gone up by less than 50%! Now which business can survive that?


Kuala Lumpur has one of the lowest fares for public transport in the world! No wonder taxi drivers resort to all sort of tricks to earn more! In the few times I have had to use taxis, I always make it a point to give the taxi drivers a few more ringgit than what was stated on the meters. Because I just pity these guys. They are just trying to make a decent living. Despite the horrendous traffic jams (and now being made worse by the rainy season), many try their best to get you to your destinations as fast as they can. Yes, there’s a small group of drivers who cheat, but they are cheating out of necessities. And the government isn’t doing much to help them. Not only are fares set very low, and rarely reviewed, they are also not trained. And taxi companies are only interested in making money out of the rental of the taxis. Imagine, KL is probably the only city in the world where sometimes you have to actually tell the taxi drivers how to get to your destinations. I once had to show the taxi driver how to get to Section 17 in PJ from Sri Hartamas, a distance of merely 8 kilometres away. The reason? He don’t normally take people to PJ! In London, all Black Cab drivers have to go through an intensive course on the roads of London.


Everyone who understands public transport knows that very few public transport companies in the world make money! The exception, of course is Hong Kong. I just love the place, and I rarely have to use taxis there. You can just take the MRT and move from one place to another without having to step onto the streets, as most of the buildings are connected, especially on the island side. Japan has the most efficient transport system in the world, but the company also runs the “shinkansen”, so that would not be a fair comparison.


So why on earth did the government allow buses (and LRTs previously) to be privatized? Don’t answer that!!!


The monorail’s previous owner had to be bailed out to the tune of RM500 million. Of course the Tan Sri that runs the “successful” (what is “successful” in Malay?) company is a good friend of Dr Mahathir! And of course he is the man who brought McDonalds to the country!


Is it fair for the private owners of buses to have to bear the losses when RapidKL is funded by taxpayers? And can you blame them for deciding to pull the busses off the roads? Sure, that is hard on commuters. But they are private companies. They need to cover their costs. They need to make some profits.


The government is so scared of increasing the fares of public transport, because not only people will make noise, but most importantly the issue will be politicized by the politicians from the opposition parties! Especially during election times! Because politicians in this country are so corrupt of ideas! Because they don’t really care about the people! So, don’t increase the fares, but instead take over the companies running the buses, especially in the major cities. They can even take over the taxis, and all taxi drivers can now become government servants! After all, there is only 1.3 million government servants currently! That’s only 4.6 per cent of the population! Damned! They can’t do that, as the DAP has already said that they will cut down the number of civil servants if they come to power!


At one time, the government was even thinking about zoning KL and making cars pay to enter. That too, didn’t work out as it was politicized, as usual!


Who cares about what the opposition thinks, if what you are doing is for the greater good of the population! I have no problems taking public transport if it is efficient and gets me to where I want to go fast. I remember when I had to move to the city centre when the KLSE decided to build a building right smack in the worse part of KL traffic. The Executive Chairman took the LRT a few times and made his driver wait at the station not too far from his house! He took the LRT in his Zegna suits and white leather shoes! I would have done the same, but there wasn’t a single station within 10 kilometres of my place! So what did I do, leave the house at 6.45 am and reach the office by 7 am. If I had left at 8, it would take me almost an hour to travel the 14 kilometres to work! And don’t leave office before 8 pm! Not that I am fond of having meetings at night. My meetings never lasted beyond 7 pm! Unlike some of the CEOs in some of the GLCs today! And I got my job done! And my people got their jobs done!


Mr Prime Minister, is it really such a difficult issue to resolve? Damned! I forgot, the Empress Dowager doesn’t have any interest in the transportation business! Not enough money to make, to buy RM25 million diamond ring and Birkin bags! Oh yes, she is interested in transportation, but you can’t use French submarines on KL roads! Hmmm, maybe you can, with some modifications. I am sure with the right incentive, the French can come up with submarines that not only can dive in the sea, but can also be used on the roads. Now, each submarine cost about USD60 million (that’s almost RM190 million). With modifications for land usage, that will probably go up to USD120 million (about RM370 million). You would need at least 1,000 units. That will be RM37 billion! Now ten per cent of that is RM3.7 billion. Wow, that’s a lot of Birkin bags! And you don’t even need a gorgeous Mongolian interpreter (who speaks French) to broker the deal! If you need me to shave my legs and wear female Mongolian traditional dress, I would be happy to do so! My fee? Only RM15 million. I can speak a bit of French. Chuchote à moi de ton secret et je le garderai jamais.


Well, how else am I going to earn my RM15 million and play golf every day, and finally become a single handicapper?


To my fellow members of KLGCC, the club’s Disciplinary Committee has decided not to proceed with the hearing to hear my complaint about the four idiots that played behind me and hit their balls whilst my flight was on the 18th green. The reason? I could not identify the person whose ball hit the lamp post next to the green! How do you expect me to identify the person from 170 yards away? And I was busy putting! And when the club called the four idiots, their answers, “Tak tahu!” (I don’t know!). Well, there goes the saying about golf being a gentlemen’s game! These four are definitely not gentlemen!


As such an offence normally result in immediate suspension, the club was afraid of imposing such a punishment unless the offending person can be clearly identified or the person admits the offence. I wasn’t even looking for a suspension. I just want an apology. I was pissed off because they behaved as if nothing happened. These are, I assumed people who are high up in the corporate ladder or rich businessmen. It just shows that no matter what your standing is in organizations or businesses, if you have not been brought up properly, you will still behave like a lout! As they say, if you really want to know a person’s true character, take him to play golf.


“Character is higher than intellect.”  - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Well, we all know who they are (their names are on my website). If they want to sue me for slander, please do!


Passez un bon weekend!



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