Buaya and Ayam News

24th October

My sincerest apologies for taking such a long time to update the news. Only after a scolding by Uncle Goh that I have decided to put my thinking cap again, and return to my journalistic endeavours.

Uncle Goh being an IT expert, he has reminded me that there is no point having the site if it is not updated regularly. Thank you Uncle for the worldly advice, and I shall try to update the site as rehularly as possible.

Now to the news.

The major news that we have is on the EDS Tournament held recently at the Sungai Long Golf and Country Club, the home course of the well known local pro and buaya, Eugene Loke. We have been rather lucky that Eugene also happen to be a reporter for TV3. I am not sure whether he has a press card (something that is required for all journalist and reporters), but nevertheless we have taken the risk of presenting his report here. If we are sued by TV3, Eugene has promised that he will give all his winnings on the course for the next one year to settling the suit, or he will pay the green fee of all TV3 executives for the next one year.

Before we read his report, I am pleased to report on the tournament myself.

First, I think having 120 golfers on a course like Sungai Long is a difficult feat, especially when the morning flights were delayed by rain, and the rest of us waiting to tee off in the afternoon had to wait for quite a while to even get a turfmate.

After waiting for almost an eternity, we finally teed of at about 2.15 pm. We started at the 10th tee box. I was in a flight of pros basically, Damien (long john) Yeoh, Mohd Phatulmuen and Lim Ah Wah which I can't quite remember the name. Now, I am normally not intimidated by long hitters, but with Damien around, it was not only intimidating, but frightening. I supposed at that height, hitting the ball long is natural. But he was damned straight as well. As you can see from the report from the TV3 reporter, Damien won the longest drive. It looks like I have to stay away from all tournament that he is participating as I don't have a chance of winning the longest drive prize.

We started quite well on the first 4 holes. But when we reached the 5th hole, there were 4 flights of beginners waiting to tee off. I am talking about real beginners here. Some of them could not even get past the red tee box. We had to wait for almost 30 minutes before we could continue. And from then on, my game just crumbled. And I am not going to bore you with my sufferings that day. I think I ended up with 33 points. As you can see from the result below, I am the only one in my flight not in the winners' list. What a let down on such a lovely course.

Before we go straight to the report of the TV3 reporter, here's the official result of tournament as presented by Tag Heuer (Since when did they get involved in golf????)

The followings are the result:

A medal

10TH HENG CHENG NOAU 36 21

9TH EUGENE LOKE 36 10

8TH JASVINDER SINGH 36 21

7TH SIMON LIEW 36 18

6TH EDDIE LIM 36 18

5TH ACP ISHAK YAHYA 36 8

4TH LIM AH WAH 36 20

3TH MOHD PATHULMUEN 37 9

2ND GOH TEE KHIONG 37 13

WINNER AZMI FAEZ 38 10

B Medal

10TH LIEW LUP SEONG 33 24

9TH JEFFREY KHOO 33 24

8TH DATO' MAH SIEW KWOK 33 22

7TH TERRY LIM 34 24

6TH ZAINUDDIN IBRAHIM 34 24

5TH TUNA HJ AZALI 35 24

4TH PATRICK LEE 35 22

3TH MAZALAN ALIAS 35 22

2ND CHEN CHEE PENG 35 23

WINNER JEFFREY FOK 36 23

Ball Sweep

1ST NINE

1 RICHARD LAU

2 LIEW KIM SENG

3 EDWARD YEOH

2ND NINE

1 IVAN KHOO

2 AMARJIT SINGH

3 MUSTAFA SAFARI

NOVELTY EVENTS

N.T.P. (HOLE 14) 1 TAY HOON LIM 1' - 0"

N.T.P. (HOLE 8) 1 NOOR MAHSURUDIN 6' - 3"

N.T.L. (HOLE 4) 1 AMARJIT SINGH 7' - 9"

L.D. (HOLE 15) 1 DAMIAN YEOH 243 YD 0' - 7"

And now the report from TV3

Please be informed that the VETERAN CHAMP MR. Uncro sink 3 birdies in his

2nd nine, which supposed to give him at least 38 points, but he ends up only

as runner-up with 37 points, the followings are the story

behind::..............which he told us after a couple of beer in titanic...

In his second nine, he already scored 3 birdies, but he blowed 1 hole on the

1st nine, to 17th hole, he knew he can easily score 38 point (No

problemmoh!!! easy, easy) but deep in his mind he thought that from last

year record, his collegue, Mr. Eddie score 38 points but lost on count back,

banyak sayang oh!!!! therefore, he thought that, what the heck, I need to

win this tournament OUTRIGHT!!!! with 39 points. Approaching 17th Tee-Box,

176 yards (approx 160 meter) par 3, he was thinking that if he use a

5-iron, easy! easy! with normal swing, he can hit it OVER the green NO

PROBLEMmoh. That day the pin placement was WHITE. and he think it twice!! so

he decided to CHOKE-down on the 5-iron and take a dead aim at the pin.

WHACK! WHACK!

Ayuh!!, hit it too thin, the ball went to the pond, his 3rd shot to salvage

double-bogey also when into the pond, so end up with a DASH on the score

card. and END-up with only 37 points

So back to the club house, looking at the final score, he realised that he

has just thrown his Champion Crown and his HOME THEATHER SYSTEM to the pond

at Hole 17th....

B Medal Champ and RUNNER-UP,

The 2 biggest crook in town, namely the Mr. Jeffli and Mr. Chen Chee Peng

which their normal handicap is 18 and 13 respectively. But one thing we need

to salute them is they understand the System 36 SO well that they can even

manipulate them. Overheard from Mr. Jeffli, he was saying on the closing

hole, even though he put it on in 2 (regulation on for a par 4), he got to

purposely 4 putt!!! otherwise if he 2 putts he will end up in MEDAL A.

That all for the report, I'm Eugene Loke reporting from TV3 from Sg. Long

Golf and Country Club.

 

I MUST AGREE WITH THE REPOTER'S ASSESSMENT ON MR JEFFLI FOK.